Private School - has it been worth the money to you?

[Anonymous]

There was some interesting talk on one of the many GDS threads about wrapping your head around paying $40K annually for private school.

So that brings up the question - has it been worth it for your kids?

For me, with a boy finishing 11th Grade and a girl finishing 6th, the answer is yes, but it's been a definite sacrifice. After paying tuition and the mortgage, we have about $5K left over each month to live our lives on. $1k per month for groceries, $1k for various bills, $500 for gas and insuring a teenage boy to drive - it adds up quick and we are driving old cars without a payment.

From a strictly financial point of view, it probably hasn't been worth it. Our suburban public schools are in the "fine to good" range and I'm sure the kids would have done reasonably well there. And we've made some friends (my son started in 9th, my daughter this year) but certainly aren't fully involved in the parent community, which seems tilted toward those who have been there longer and/or have way more than $5k to live on each month.

But I have been completely won over by the experience my kids are having. They both love going to school every day. They have made great friendships. But most of all, they have been actively engaged by their teachers. In public school, almost every teacher was more like an overseer than a mentor. In their current school, their teachers know, respect, like and inspire our kids. They enjoy learning. And, since both my kids are on the more academic side of things, the greatest surprise and unexpected benefit has been the extra-curricular opportunities. My son, never much of an athlete, has found himself thriving in track - a sport he never would have attempted in public school because he had no experience, but one he now loves after having been quasi-forced into participation. Same for my daughter with the arts.

So I guess what I'm seeing is the difference between the "reasonably well" that I expect they would have done in public school, and the "incredible" they are getting now. In fact, the difference was significant enough that after seeing the benefits for our son in high school, we bit the bullet and started his sister in middle school instead of waiting.

So, we aren't taking great vacations now (or in the foreseeable future) and I'm keeping my fingers crossed and checking the oil regularly on our cars, and we're very purposeful about when and where we go out to eat, but so far it's been worth the effort for us.

[Anonymous]

I'm not getting your post from a financial sense. After school and mortgage, you have $5000 left and you are complaining about not taking vacations and other cut backs but that is plenty of money for a family of 4 to live off of, including savings, especially for college.

[Anonymous]

we aren't taking great vacations now (or in the foreseeable future) and I'm keeping my fingers crossed and checking the oil regularly on our cars, and we're very purposeful about when and where we go out to eat, but so far it's been worth the effort for us.

This nicely sums up our experience so far at Sheridan. I would make the same decision again although it has eaten up all disposable income. The public option was J, L, or Mu + Deal. I know they're solid, and I also know they're not the same.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 kdis at sidwell US. I am very financially aware perhaps too much so. Nonetheless they are doing well, so many opportunities to do interesting things and great teachers. So no i do not think it is worth the exact $ from a cost benefit analysis but we have the money (saved) so we are spending it on something very important to us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was some interesting talk on one of the many GDS threads about wrapping your head around paying $40K annually for private school.

So that brings up the question - has it been worth it for your kids?

For me, with a boy finishing 11th Grade and a girl finishing 6th, the answer is yes, but it's been a definite sacrifice. After paying tuition and the mortgage, we have about $5K left over each month to live our lives on. $1k per month for groceries, $1k for various bills, $500 for gas and insuring a teenage boy to drive - it adds up quick and we are driving old cars without a payment.

From a strictly financial point of view, it probably hasn't been worth it. Our suburban public schools are in the "fine to good" range and I'm sure the kids would have done reasonably well there. And we've made some friends (my son started in 9th, my daughter this year) but certainly aren't fully involved in the parent community, which seems tilted toward those who have been there longer and/or have way more than $5k to live on each month.

But I have been completely won over by the experience my kids are having. They both love going to school every day. They have made great friendships. But most of all, they have been actively engaged by their teachers. In public school, almost every teacher was more like an overseer than a mentor. In their current school, their teachers know, respect, like and inspire our kids. They enjoy learning. And, since both my kids are on the more academic side of things, the greatest surprise and unexpected benefit has been the extra-curricular opportunities. My son, never much of an athlete, has found himself thriving in track - a sport he never would have attempted in public school because he had no experience, but one he now loves after having been quasi-forced into participation. Same for my daughter with the arts.

So I guess what I'm seeing is the difference between the "reasonably well" that I expect they would have done in public school, and the "incredible" they are getting now. In fact, the difference was significant enough that after seeing the benefits for our son in high school, we bit the bullet and started his sister in middle school instead of waiting.

So, we aren't taking great vacations now (or in the foreseeable future) and I'm keeping my fingers crossed and checking the oil regularly on our cars, and we're very purposeful about when and where we go out to eat, but so far it's been worth the effort for us.

Where does your son in 11th grade hope to attend college?

[Anonymous]

We had two kids in private (not in DC), but took one out after middle school. It was not worth the $$ for that child, but definitely worth the $$ for our other child who stayed in private.

In our case, I think the private school clearly offers the better education. The private school is not required to teach to the test or offer mindless AP classes full of rote memorization that our child in public school takes.

We're in a fine school district, so the difference is not worth the extra $$ for one of our children, who is thriving in our public school. Our DC in private is also thriving. They are completely different children with different interests and needs.

It's been a huge financial sacrifice for us, BTW, especially when we had two kids in private. Would I do it again? Yes, I would.

[Anonymous]

We feel the same, and to speak to 19:45's post - we just hope our son goes to the best college that he thinks will be the best fit. We have 3 kids, 1 girl boarded and goes to a great local university that she absolutely adores, 1 son went public and goes to a second tier school in NYC but he does theatre and writing and it's NYC so he's in heaven. Third child is rising sophomore at private in VA and has had a great year - not all A's, not captain of anything but a really good education. That's why we have made each choice. For us, it's not the college rat race although if he wants and can get into an Ivy - go for it. But after touring around all the possible colleges for the first two, I know there is a really good school out there for him. And because we have sacrificed and gone private, we have every confidence he will do well. We pay for private for the experience and education that this school provides for this child - we are not in it for the name. We will be happy with whatever that choice is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We feel the same, and to speak to 19:45's post - we just hope our son goes to the best college that he thinks will be the best fit. We have 3 kids, 1 girl boarded and goes to a great local university that she absolutely adores, 1 son went public and goes to a second tier school in NYC but he does theatre and writing and it's NYC so he's in heaven. Third child is rising sophomore at private in VA and has had a great year - not all A's, not captain of anything but a really good education. That's why we have made each choice. For us, it's not the college rat race although if he wants and can get into an Ivy - go for it. But after touring around all the possible colleges for the first two, I know there is a really good school out there for him. And because we have sacrificed and gone private, we have every confidence he will do well. We pay for private for the experience and education that this school provides for this child - we are not in it for the name. We will be happy with whatever that choice is

Good post. Concur in thinking

[Anonymous]

It's been worth every penny. I have three children--all in private--and they are so happy to go to school every day. Amazing experiences and teachers and a terrific community.

I used to teach in the local public school, which is "highly-rated," and, sadly, I knew I'd never let my kids go there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's been worth every penny. I have three children--all in private--and they are so happy to go to school every day. Amazing experiences and teachers and a terrific community.

I used to teach in the local public school, which is "highly-rated," and, sadly, I knew I'd never let my kids go there.

Struck a chord with me. When our child was struggling in MCPS, a few staff members took me aside and suggested private, also sharing that their kids attended private schools. Our child was bored out of his mind and frustrated by the bureaucratic silliness. He loved current events and complained that the Scholastic News they received to discuss in class were weeks or months out-of-date. At private, the class studied the Ebola outbreak, discussed articles in The New York Times, and worked on projects that spanned foreign language, geography, art, and English. Yes, it is worth it for him. He is so much happier and engaged. I think people really underestimate how depressing and demoralizing the public school environment can be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's been worth every penny. I have three children--all in private--and they are so happy to go to school every day. Amazing experiences and teachers and a terrific community.

I used to teach in the local public school, which is "highly-rated," and, sadly, I knew I'd never let my kids go there.

Struck a chord with me. When our child was struggling in MCPS, a few staff members took me aside and suggested private, also sharing that their kids attended private schools. Our child was bored out of his mind and frustrated by the bureaucratic silliness. He loved current events and complained that the Scholastic News they received to discuss in class were weeks or months out-of-date. At private, the class studied the Ebola outbreak, discussed articles in The New York Times, and worked on projects that spanned foreign language, geography, art, and English. Yes, it is worth it for him. He is so much happier and engaged. I think people really underestimate how depressing and demoralizing the public school environment can be.

Yes, and I'd add that I don't blame the teachers (most of them anyway!) or the children for this. The structure is just so rigid and problematic. It's hard for everyone working within that structure. For the kids that can flourish anyway, I'm happy. For those that can't, it's really depressing.

[Anonymous]

My son is a K student in GDS. I have been thinking about the same problem since he entered prk there. My friends' children in very good public school could write a full paragraph the end year of K. They also did research paper writing about the frog's life. But my son's class just showed parents what they could do in playground now. Now I really don't know if it is worth the money to go private. My view is that what students can achieve in playground was a development by themselves over the one year in the school, not related to school very much. I am afraid my son will be left behind accademically, compared to public school students. Could someone share more of their experience in private and their views about it? Maybe the writing in K is not important? I recently feel so frastrated that we paid the money while it seemed that great public school could provid similar or even better education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is a K student in GDS. I have been thinking about the same problem since he entered prk there. My friends' children in very good public school could write a full paragraph the end year of K. They also did research paper writing about the frog's life. But my son's class just showed parents what they could do in playground now. Now I really don't know if it is worth the money to go private. My view is that what students can achieve in playground was a development by themselves over the one year in the school, not related to school very much. I am afraid my son will be left behind accademically, compared to public school students. Could someone share more of their experience in private and their views about it? Maybe the writing in K is not important? I recently feel so frastrated that we paid the money while it seemed that great public school could provid similar or even better education.

Well, you need to look for a school with a educational philosophy you agree with. My reaction to your post is "Jesus H, kindergarteners do not need to be doing research papers."

Many private schools (most?) don't go hardcore academic in K because there's the idea that it's not developmentally appropriate (I obviously agree with this). You may prefer a different philosophy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is a K student in GDS. I have been thinking about the same problem since he entered prk there. My friends' children in very good public school could write a full paragraph the end year of K. They also did research paper writing about the frog's life. But my son's class just showed parents what they could do in playground now. Now I really don't know if it is worth the money to go private. My view is that what students can achieve in playground was a development by themselves over the one year in the school, not related to school very much. I am afraid my son will be left behind accademically, compared to public school students. Could someone share more of their experience in private and their views about it? Maybe the writing in K is not important? I recently feel so frastrated that we paid the money while it seemed that great public school could provid similar or even better education.

Well, you need to look for a school with a educational philosophy you agree with. My reaction to your post is "Jesus H, kindergarteners do not need to be doing research papers."

Many private schools (most?) don't go hardcore academic in K because there's the idea that it's not developmentally appropriate (I obviously agree with this). You may prefer a different philosophy.

+1. at our private, which is Reggio-inspired in K, there were parents (like me) who were thrilled with the social emotional development of our kids, and the academic achievements were second to that. there were some parents who, while knowing that Reggio is play-based, where sorely disappointed that their children did not have amazing academic achievement, so they are leaving next year for what they think will be greener pastures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is a K student in GDS. I have been thinking about the same problem since he entered prk there. My friends' children in very good public school could write a full paragraph the end year of K. They also did research paper writing about the frog's life. But my son's class just showed parents what they could do in playground now. Now I really don't know if it is worth the money to go private. My view is that what students can achieve in playground was a development by themselves over the one year in the school, not related to school very much. I am afraid my son will be left behind accademically, compared to public school students. Could someone share more of their experience in private and their views about it? Maybe the writing in K is not important? I recently feel so frastrated that we paid the money while it seemed that great public school could provid similar or even better education.

I switched from private to public in elementary school and remember being behind, especially in math.