Private School - has it been worth the money to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is a K student in GDS. I have been thinking about the same problem since he entered prk there. My friends' children in very good public school could write a full paragraph the end year of K. They also did research paper writing about the frog's life. But my son's class just showed parents what they could do in playground now. Now I really don't know if it is worth the money to go private. My view is that what students can achieve in playground was a development by themselves over the one year in the school, not related to school very much. I am afraid my son will be left behind accademically, compared to public school students. Could someone share more of their experience in private and their views about it? Maybe the writing in K is not important? I recently feel so frastrated that we paid the money while it seemed that great public school could provid similar or even better education.

FWIW, I watched other parents worry about this when our kids were in Prek at GDS. I don't think it was GDS-specific so much as a function of the transition from home to FT school. Especially for mothers who closely watched/superintended their preschoolers' learning experiences, school felt like putting the breaks on progress rather than taking it to the next level. Part of that was that individualized attention was replaced by a situation in which the program had to work for a group, but another part was that a broader/more stable base was being laid down than the kids were getting at home where, typically and understandably, parents often focussed on the things their little ones were good at or interested in or on the things they themselves valued.

Flash forward many years to HS. Most everyone stayed. And now thinks their kids are better educated than they would have been had they done public the whole way. Are they right now? Were they right before? My take is that they were too quick to judge in the early years and didn't know what to look for. (Often focussed on skill acquisition and speed vs. reasoning and breadth/depth). Invented spelling (coming up next!) drove a few crazy, but there were lasting payoffs (good phonics, comfort with writing, adorable mementos) and kids did, in fact, learn conventional spelling (both with lists and as they became experienced readers). Basically, invented spelling lets kids write before they read and it doesn't reduce writing to correct letter/word/sentence formation.

Re now. Having taught at an elite college in the area for years, I've seen a lot of work produced by high-performing students from MoCo and Ffx public schools. My DC's work in HS would have stood out among the undergrad papers I typically received. Similarly, DC's textual interpretation skills are more sophisticated than what I generally encountered in undergrad seminars. I taught in humanities, so can't compare math/science to my undergrads, but DC has post-AP work in both. Ditto foreign language. So I don't worry about DC coming out of private school behind or us having wasted our money.

That said, there are some trade-offs. Depending on personality and interests, the workload can be brutal and the competition demoralizing. (I don't assume this is a public vs. private school thing, but school- and kid-specific.) There's also a socially-engineered quality to the environment that has its pros and cons. On the one hand, my kid will never assume that people of color are less intelligent than whites. (A not uncommon assumption at the U where I taught). On the other hand, standards about what it means to do something well (and about respect for different choices) are out of sync with mainstream America and I could see that leading to alienation and/or rude awakenings somewhere down the road.

Thanks!
A new GDS mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not directly on point, but i'll play devil's advocate: I went to private from grades two through five. My mom pulled me out of public because our in-bounds school had two tracks: immersion (which now everyone loves, so it's crazy to think in the 80s that people were worried this wasn't a great option) and split classes (i.e. 30 kids from 1st and 2nd in one room with 2 teachers - chaos!). I went to all girls school, which cost around $4500 a year back then. I was highly gifted, and spent much of my time doing independent work. My mother was chummy with the vice-principal, who ultimately suggested to her that I transfer to the local public middle school that had a strong gifted program. Apparently, the VP told my mom that their job was to take bright but not stellar young women and get them into good colleges. From a quick scan of facebook, looks like most of my old classmates met upper middle class men and have lots of babies staying home in the same suburb we grew up in. I don't think the school ever saw its role as educating the next supreme court justice. This was in a suburb with good schools, but the private did come anywhere near matching the competitive, academic and special schools that we seem to have today in DC. So definitely a different era and not an apples to apples comparison.

We used to live in Florida, and I would never ever ever send my kids to private there. Most of the people with money in Florida do so through, well, non academic means. Lawyers don't get particularly rich down there. So you have professional atheletes, real estate developers, modeling and film industry, and a lot of people stashing their money from other shady economies (like Russians, Venezuelans etc who likely made money under the counter and needed to get it out). The private schools are consequently a non-academic sh*t show. Crazy drugs, partying and stuff you don't want to think of 16 year olds doing. There is no way I'd put my kid in private there. Very different than DC where there is such an emphasis on education and career.

American Heritage in SFL is far from a sh*t show as you put it. There college placement is good or better than DC's big 3 or whatever...
You are generalizing about Florida's privates.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it has been worth it.

[Anonymous]

My husband doesn't think it was worth it for his own education. His parents spent hundreds of thousands when there were fantastic public schools he could have attended. Most of the neighborhood kids went to these schools and as a result, it wasn't as easy for him to make neighborhood friends. He would much rather have over a million dollars now to use to purchase a home or vacation home. He would have most likely gone to the same college as it is where his father attended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband doesn't think it was worth it for his own education. His parents spent hundreds of thousands when there were fantastic public schools he could have attended. Most of the neighborhood kids went to these schools and as a result, it wasn't as easy for him to make neighborhood friends. He would much rather have over a million dollars now to use to purchase a home or vacation home. He would have most likely gone to the same college as it is where his father attended.

Why would it be his to use on a home? He sounds like a greedy ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband doesn't think it was worth it for his own education. His parents spent hundreds of thousands when there were fantastic public schools he could have attended. Most of the neighborhood kids went to these schools and as a result, it wasn't as easy for him to make neighborhood friends. He would much rather have over a million dollars now to use to purchase a home or vacation home. He would have most likely gone to the same college as it is where his father attended.

Why would it be his to use on a home? He sounds like a greedy ass.

Uh, maybe his parents passed away?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband doesn't think it was worth it for his own education. His parents spent hundreds of thousands when there were fantastic public schools he could have attended. Most of the neighborhood kids went to these schools and as a result, it wasn't as easy for him to make neighborhood friends. He would much rather have over a million dollars now to use to purchase a home or vacation home. He would have most likely gone to the same college as it is where his father attended.

Why would it be his to use on a home? He sounds like a greedy ass.

Uh, maybe his parents passed away?

But they may have chosen to use it in a different way or donated it. Just because it does not get this use does not mean it is his to use however he sees fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP with the progressive educational philosophy here. What are the six schools that you think I should know about? As I mentioned, I never got a chance to complete my research. I am basing my knowledge mostly from those schools where friends, family members or colleagues send their kids. I did not grow up here, and I actually have not visited many privates here. There are some that really interested me, such as Lowell and Burgundy Farms, that really interested me. But, we live downtown, and any school that we choose would have to be accessible by public transport and/or very easily accessible from Georgetown. I'm not really into Waldorf, it goes to far for me.

NP. If you are interested in progressive education, you can look at these programs:

Capitol Hill Day School
Lowell School
Burgundy Farm
Sheridan
Friends Community School
Green Acres
Georgetown Day School

Also Burke, Field (start at grade 6)

[Anonymous]

Yes. Totally worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best formula I see is private in the younger years then an awesome highschool, in MD,VA and even Wilson/Walls- you can't go wrong. This sets a nurturing foundation and love for learning well including all of the play based creative ways that are so important for brain development. I think many have it wrong pushing the private in hs to get into the good schools and fear of "bad elements" in the public schools. The heavy testing and focus on memorization pushing reading and academic skills in the rote ways they do is disputed by most experts.

Most of the relevant academic research I've seen supports the idea that if you can only afford a limited number of years of private school, your money is much better spent at K-5 than 9-12. So much more formation take place during those years, setting in place habits (good and bad) that are much harder to change by the time kids get to high school.

But it would be so hard to tell a kid at 5th Grade graduation, "Yep, it's a great school where you've thrived and made best friends. Time to move to public school where you don't know anyone and won't get the same level of attention from teachers or enrichment."

I think it's better to look at the individual child, rather than the research. In our case, we were fortunate to have grandparent support for private K-5. When the stock market slumped in 2008, the grandparents had to pull back their support. We weren't anticipating that, and I was only working PT at the time, and so we left for public. My oldest was in 5th grade, and he made a pretty easy transition to MCPS at the beginning of 6th grade. (He'd known lots of neighborhood kids even though he wasn't in the neighborhood school.) Another of my son's classmates also had to leave at the end of 5th grade for MCPS. He was also fine in making the transition.

For high school, we sent him to private after I returned to FT work. But if he were a stronger student, we would have kept him in MCPS. So the transition from public to private can be made if necessary.

[Anonymous]

At a work event, I recently met a Landon graduate who's now in his late 20s. He impressed me as being very smart, personable, and poised. I told him we had considered Landon for our son (although we ultimately chose a different school). He said he and his fellow Landon friends have talked about whether it was worth it for them to go to Landon, and how they're uniformly on the fence about whether or not it was worth it.

But he seemed so thoughtful and genuine that it made me think that it probably was worth the tuition, even if he didn't recognize the school's impact on him.

I think his friends mostly contemplated how public school would have freed up their parents to invest that money and be more comfortable in retirement. That's a good point. But for most people, if you don't send your kid to private, are you necessarily setting aside an extra $30,000 to invest each year? (I do know one neighbor who did this for their twins -- sent them to MCPS for elementary and saved the equivalent in private school tuition for each child each year.) Now, for 6th grade, they are able to do private with the capital gains.

[Anonymous]

Our kids did public for elementary school, then switched to private for middle and high school. All 3 had a great experience in their independent school and have now graduated. The two oldest were extremely well-prepared for college. We'll know soon enough about the youngest, who just graduated, but my guess is she'll do just as well.

So, was it worth it? My husband and the kids themselves would probably all say yes. I feel a little differently. I'm on the fence for the two oldest, though I'd definitely say that they benefited, both in terms of the classroom experience -- very probing and focused on critical thinking -- and socially -- they have a great group of friends from school. OTOH, they would have been fine in public school, though they might not have been pushed as hard academically. For the youngest, though, private school made a world of difference. She really blossomed with smaller class sizes and teachers who believed in her and helped her develop as a student. Plus, she was extraordinarily lucky in being in a grade with a minimum of mean girl drama.

Takeaway: We were in the fortunate position of being able handle the tuition payments while still paying off our mortgage and saving for college and retirement. If we hadn't paid for private school, we could have bought a beach or ski house or traveled more. Looking back, though, I think education will have more of a lasting impact on our kids' lives, so I'd probably make the same choice again.

[Anonymous]

We are at GDS, and were doubters in the early grades. It felt like it was a big gigantic financial drain. In truth, some of the teachers in the early grades are weak but I digress. By first grade, it turned around and we were able to clearly see that curriculum come together. The school does a phenomenal job with critical thinking, writing, and dare I say, even math. We have plenty of friends whose very bright kids are in MOCO schools including at the highly gifted magnets. Those are seriously good schools. But I do notice that our kids are developing better writing skills and a better conceptual understanding of math.

[Anonymous]

Pardon my grammatical errors above!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not directly on point, but i'll play devil's advocate: I went to private from grades two through five. My mom pulled me out of public because our in-bounds school had two tracks: immersion (which now everyone loves, so it's crazy to think in the 80s that people were worried this wasn't a great option) and split classes (i.e. 30 kids from 1st and 2nd in one room with 2 teachers - chaos!). I went to all girls school, which cost around $4500 a year back then. I was highly gifted, and spent much of my time doing independent work. My mother was chummy with the vice-principal, who ultimately suggested to her that I transfer to the local public middle school that had a strong gifted program. Apparently, the VP told my mom that their job was to take bright but not stellar young women and get them into good colleges. From a quick scan of facebook, looks like most of my old classmates met upper middle class men and have lots of babies staying home in the same suburb we grew up in. I don't think the school ever saw its role as educating the next supreme court justice. This was in a suburb with good schools, but the private did come anywhere near matching the competitive, academic and special schools that we seem to have today in DC. So definitely a different era and not an apples to apples comparison.

We used to live in Florida, and I would never ever ever send my kids to private there. Most of the people with money in Florida do so through, well, non academic means. Lawyers don't get particularly rich down there. So you have professional atheletes, real estate developers, modeling and film industry, and a lot of people stashing their money from other shady economies (like Russians, Venezuelans etc who likely made money under the counter and needed to get it out). The private schools are consequently a non-academic sh*t show. Crazy drugs, partying and stuff you don't want to think of 16 year olds doing. There is no way I'd put my kid in private there. Very different than DC where there is such an emphasis on education and career.

You are generalizing about Florida's privates.

Yeah, I'll have to let the some 70 NMSFs at American Heritage School know that their school is a non-academic shit show