Toddler Telling Daddy: "Go Away."

[Anonymous]

Our 26 month old has a great relationship with her dad and me. But recently she's been pushing her dad away and saying, "Dada go away!" This usually happens at bedtime. In the past, we have all three gone into her room and read stories before bedtime, after brushing teeth. The past couple of nights, she tries to close the door before he can come in. DH is trying not to take this personally, but it's hard not to! Anyone have any suggestions or read any good articles about how to handle this?

[Anonymous]

Tell her "No Daddy will not go away - I want him here." And have DH go on as if she hadn't said it.


Nip this crap in the bud, OP, she is just testing you both to see how high you will jump for her.

[Anonymous]

You can correct her, tell her that's rude/impolite and to rephrase her request. Or you can ignore it and continue on. She's beginning to assert herself, it's developmental, not personal.

http://www.parents.com/advice/toddlers-preschoolers/toddlers-and-discipline/why-does-my-daughter-tell-everyone-to-go-away/

[Anonymous]

Does she think it's funny, or does she genuinely not want him there?

My DS definitely does things like this (just turned 3), and I think it's very common. I'd try different approaches and see what works -- maybe he can make a joke out of it and chase her around to see if he can tickle her or something. Or you can be very firm about it and say that you are all part of bedtime and let DH in, no matter what kind of antics she pulls.

I think it's a little difficult for kids this age to manage relationships among 3 people. 2 people is easier, and they are more guaranteed to have your full attention. My DS often reacts like this if he feels like DH and I are talking with each other and he wants our full attention. It might make sense to try to move toward only having 2 people there (like you and her, or DH and her). Maybe you could alternate each day, or make a particular part of the routine Daddy's time and another part Mommy's time (probably better than alternating days, as that can be confusing for kids, too).

I would say that DH shouldn't take it personally but also shouldn't give in too easily. And you should stand up for DH and say, "That's not nice. I want Daddy to come in here. I'm going to let him in."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her "No Daddy will not go away - I want him here." And have DH go on as if she hadn't said it.


Nip this crap in the bud, OP, she is just testing you both to see how high you will jump for her.

+1 She is being a brat. Nip it in the bud is right. This line very much, too.

[Anonymous]

This is normal, ours does this too.

[Anonymous]

But mine is not being a brat about it, he is just testing boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But mine is not being a brat about it, he is just testing boundaries.

SAME DIFFERENCE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But mine is not being a brat about it, he is just testing boundaries.

SAME DIFFERENCE.

Well, then all toddlers are brats, because all toddlers test boundaries. . . It's developmentally appropriate. It's how they learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can correct her, tell her that's rude/impolite and to rephrase her request. Or you can ignore it and continue on. She's beginning to assert herself, it's developmental, not personal.

http://www.parents.com/advice/toddlers-preschoolers/toddlers-and-discipline/why-does-my-daughter-tell-everyone-to-go-away/

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But mine is not being a brat about it, he is just testing boundaries.

SAME DIFFERENCE.

Well, then all toddlers are brats, because all toddlers test boundaries. . . It's developmentally appropriate. It's how they learn.

Oh, shut up! I was making a joke.

[Anonymous]

My 2.5 year old DD has gone in and out of stages of this. I spent three nights away for work during one anti Daddy phase and she had swung more toward accepting either of us to help her when I got back. I remember my niece - who does well with both parents- screaming for help from her mom even when her dad was there to help.

[Anonymous]

Toddlers not only test boundaries, they test cause and effect. Will daddy go away and come back? Can I make daddy go away? If I'm angry, will that cause daddy to disappear? This is all developmentally appropriate.

It's better to ignore this sort of thing than to be obsessed with "nipping it in the bud." There are so many bud-nippers on this board, as if every little toddler behavior -- which has a developmental purpose -- has to be furiously hacked away at.

[Anonymous]

Acknowledge how she feels, "You would like stories with only Mommy tonight." Then let her know that her feelings do not dictate everyone else's actions, "Story time is with Mommy AND Daddy tonight." And move forward through the tantrum. Also, schedule some time with just Daddy where you are out of the house at least once a week or so.

While this isn't a huge deal, it can become a much bigger problem if you let it. It hurts to be rejected constantly by your kid and you don't want to set up a negative feedback loop where Dad is rejected and does less with her and then is rejected more.

[Anonymous]

Daddy is an adult. Does he really consider being told to "Go away" by a toddler a form of rejection? Really? REALLY? C'mon. The notion that a toddler saying "Go Away Daddy" would set up a negative feedback loop where dad does less and is rejected more signifies to me that Dad has some serous issues to work out. Grow up, Daddy.