Toddler Telling Daddy: "Go Away."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Toddlers not only test boundaries, they test cause and effect. Will daddy go away and come back? Can I make daddy go away? If I'm angry, will that cause daddy to disappear? This is all developmentally appropriate.

It's better to ignore this sort of thing than to be obsessed with "nipping it in the bud." There are so many bud-nippers on this board, as if every little toddler behavior -- which has a developmental purpose -- has to be furiously hacked away at.

I could not possibly disagree more. A toddler this age needs to be told/taught socially accepted behaviors or else they will learn them from less kind classmates and teachers at school. These behaviors had a developmental reason not a developmental purpose. It is not like learning to walk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Toddlers not only test boundaries, they test cause and effect. Will daddy go away and come back? Can I make daddy go away? If I'm angry, will that cause daddy to disappear? This is all developmentally appropriate.

It's better to ignore this sort of thing than to be obsessed with "nipping it in the bud." There are so many bud-nippers on this board, as if every little toddler behavior -- which has a developmental purpose -- has to be furiously hacked away at.

ITA with you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Toddlers not only test boundaries, they test cause and effect. Will daddy go away and come back? Can I make daddy go away? If I'm angry, will that cause daddy to disappear? This is all developmentally appropriate.

It's better to ignore this sort of thing than to be obsessed with "nipping it in the bud." There are so many bud-nippers on this board, as if every little toddler behavior -- which has a developmental purpose -- has to be furiously hacked away at.

I could not possibly disagree more. A toddler this age needs to be told/taught socially accepted behaviors or else they will learn them from less kind classmates and teachers at school. These behaviors had a developmental reason not a developmental purpose. It is not like learning to walk.

Relax. The rules of bitter office drones don't apply to toddlers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Toddlers not only test boundaries, they test cause and effect. Will daddy go away and come back? Can I make daddy go away? If I'm angry, will that cause daddy to disappear? This is all developmentally appropriate.

It's better to ignore this sort of thing than to be obsessed with "nipping it in the bud." There are so many bud-nippers on this board, as if every little toddler behavior -- which has a developmental purpose -- has to be furiously hacked away at.

I could not possibly disagree more. A toddler this age needs to be told/taught socially accepted behaviors or else they will learn them from less kind classmates and teachers at school. These behaviors had a developmental reason not a developmental purpose. It is not like learning to walk.

Relax. The rules of bitter office drones don't apply to toddlers.

What are you babbling about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Toddlers not only test boundaries, they test cause and effect. Will daddy go away and come back? Can I make daddy go away? If I'm angry, will that cause daddy to disappear? This is all developmentally appropriate.

It's better to ignore this sort of thing than to be obsessed with "nipping it in the bud." There are so many bud-nippers on this board, as if every little toddler behavior -- which has a developmental purpose -- has to be furiously hacked away at.

I could not possibly disagree more. A toddler this age needs to be told/taught socially accepted behaviors or else they will learn them from less kind classmates and teachers at school. These behaviors had a developmental reason not a developmental purpose. It is not like learning to walk.

NP here. My son went through this phase as well when he was a toddler. There is nothing wrong with a child only wanting one parent for something. It is not something to nip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But mine is not being a brat about it, he is just testing boundaries.

SAME DIFFERENCE.

Well, then all toddlers are brats, because all toddlers test boundaries. . . It's developmentally appropriate. It's how they learn.

Oh, shut up! I was making a joke.

This isn't the PP, but you are horrible. Do you also teach your "brat" to say shut up? Go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But mine is not being a brat about it, he is just testing boundaries.

SAME DIFFERENCE.

Well, then all toddlers are brats, because all toddlers test boundaries. . . It's developmentally appropriate. It's how they learn.

Oh, shut up! I was making a joke.

This isn't the PP, but you are horrible. Do you also teach your "brat" to say shut up? Go away.

No, just wet blankets like you.

[Anonymous]

I let my toddler decide things like that. Sure, it hurts when he chooses DH every night for a month, but it's not his job to make me happy. I think it sets up a terrible family dynamic when the kids feel responsible for the adults' feelings, and husband was raised that way and would agree.

So, OP, you need to decide if, in your house, your child gets to choose who does bedtime or not. Either way is fine, but then stick to it. And I do make my child ask nicely (saying Daddy please instead of go away mommy).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But mine is not being a brat about it, he is just testing boundaries.

SAME DIFFERENCE.

Well, then all toddlers are brats, because all toddlers test boundaries. . . It's developmentally appropriate. It's how they learn.

+1

I'm the person who wrote the original quote and I agree with PP -- I think there's a big difference. Brat is if your child is hitting daddy and yelling at him to go away. Testing boundaries is if daddy comes close and toddler says "go 'way daddy", then 5 minutes later asks for daddy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our 26 month old has a great relationship with her dad and me. But recently she's been pushing her dad away and saying, "Dada go away!" This usually happens at bedtime. In the past, we have all three gone into her room and read stories before bedtime, after brushing teeth. The past couple of nights, she tries to close the door before he can come in. DH is trying not to take this personally, but it's hard not to! Anyone have any suggestions or read any good articles about how to handle this?

You let a two yr old tell you what to do? She is a brat because you have allowed her to be.

[Anonymous]

There is no need to allow her to be rude. Teach her to ask properly if she only wants mom to read a story that night.

"Who do you want to read you a story tonight?"
"Mommy, please." (Please is a must)

Dad then says goodnight and goes on with his evening. If she's constantly saying mom, then maybe mom needs to have something else to do a couple nights per week and Dad will read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daddy is an adult. Does he really consider being told to "Go away" by a toddler a form of rejection? Really? REALLY? C'mon. The notion that a toddler saying "Go Away Daddy" would set up a negative feedback loop where dad does less and is rejected more signifies to me that Dad has some serous issues to work out. Grow up, Daddy.

+1,000

It is "daddy" who has the problem, not DC. If this is the kind of stuff that brings him to his knees, he will never make it through the teen years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 26 month old has a great relationship with her dad and me. But recently she's been pushing her dad away and saying, "Dada go away!" This usually happens at bedtime. In the past, we have all three gone into her room and read stories before bedtime, after brushing teeth. The past couple of nights, she tries to close the door before he can come in. DH is trying not to take this personally, but it's hard not to! Anyone have any suggestions or read any good articles about how to handle this?

You let a two yr old tell you what to do? She is a brat because you have allowed her to be.

Do you know anything about child development? It's very normal for a child this young to show a preference for one parent over another.
We went through something very similar. Like many toddler things, it lasted for a week or two. It wasn't an indicator for brattiness, nor was it an indicator that our son liked one of us more than the other. I do think he just found it easier to spend one on one time, not one on two time.

[Anonymous]

My 2 year old does this too. We generally just ask her to rephrase politely (i.e. "Daddy can I be alone with Mommy please?") We have a new baby so she has gotten close with DH and time with Mommy is now limited by baby. DH is happy for a break.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be around someone sometimes. The issue is how to do this politely without hurting feelings. Teach her.

[Anonymous]

Get used to it OP. Your time will come. And sometimes your time will only last for 5 minutes.