Considering leaving a good job ($120K) in mid-thirties to be a SAHM
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Anonymous
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I am seriously considering becoming a SAHM though I would like to re-enter the work force in about 10 years. I know, that is a long time away. I assume that I would have to reenter at a much lower salary than I currently have. I've done some googling and started talking to a couple people I know who have made this transition, but I want to be sure I do thorough research and consider this decision from all possible angles so that I am fully aware of what I am stepping into, if I take this step.
As there are HUGE financial implications, I thought the following background would be relevant. My husband earns about $10K less than I do. We don't have any debt. While we are still renting we have a very healthy down payment saved. We max out our retirement accounts each year. If I become a SAHM I would like to stay connected to the professional world through blogging (at a minimum to keep myself sane, I know this isn't a money maker), free lance, or contract projects. I wouldn't expect to make much, maybe not anything, but I think this would be helpful to 1) keep me connected to the adult world and 2) show potential future employers I didn't completely fall off the face of the earth for however many years I am a SAHM. I would NOT want to do this full time as it would defeat the purpose of being a SAHM, which is to be with my child, care for him/her the way I want him/her cared for, and ensure his/her needs are met. Not to mention I just thoroughly enjoy being with my baby. Pros - My first is not yet two years old. This time seems so precious and fleeting. - I may wish I had more money, a nicer house, etc., but I am certain I will never regret any time spent with my baby. Cons - Becoming financially dependent on someone else. While my spouse is a reliable person, I was raised in a very financially unstable environment. The person I was before having a child could not fathom the concept of making a decision which would result in becoming financially dependent on anyone else. And finally, I realize there was as similar thread about a month ago. After reading through that post I think the circumstances I have described are sufficiently different that I am curious if reactions will different as well. |
Anonymous
| If you can SAHM and still pay the bills, then it's really just a personal decision. Don't let the rest of us tell you how to live your life. |
Anonymous
| Is your husband's earning potential higher than yours? If not, wouldn't it make more sense for him to stay home since he makes less money? (legit question, not snarking at you) |
Anonymous
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Try to stay doing something part time so you remain current with people tend and ideas.
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Anonymous
Op, this sounds reasonable. To be honest, yes you will never get this time back. However, the fact that you have not bought a place yet; would concern me unless your healthy down payment is north of $150k. My DW was contemplating similar which I was on board but she realized that she would miss working and needs to be able to continue her career. She makes the same salary as you. Good luck, either way. |
Anonymous
Yes, agree. Work your finances and your budget and make sure DH is on board. The rest of your "pro's" are highly personal, and no one but you can place value on being home with your child |
Anonymous
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Have you thought about the reality of sahm vs the fantasy of it?
Fantasy: Lunch at pain quotidien with your girlfriends and maybe a nice bikram yoga after Reality: cold cuts at home. Voga is moving dishes to dishwasher. Fantasy: Tuesday my gym play dates with DS best friends followed by ice cream at the park Reality: my gym is too expensive, play date at the public park, ice cream truck becomes a nuisance Fantasy: rock solid ass toned from jogging around in stroller with DS Reality: exhausted after 3 loads of laundry, cleaning house and chasing kid around. Ass still big. Fantasy: drop kid off at play based schooling 2x a week. Enjoy a margarita with bff then home for a quick shower and masterbation sash before heading back to pick up kid Reality: can't afford play based schooling. Decide on chipotle. Masterbation sounds tiring. Maybe watch hgtv instead. Just sayin' |
Anonymous
+1 I would never do this. You will never get these career- and salary-building years back, or the value of compound interest wrt retirement savings. I would also never SAH with a HHI of $110k. Sounds very difficult. |
Anonymous
| I think you'd be crazy to cut back more than half of your income. Kids only get more expensive each year and living off $110 will be super-tough. |
Anonymous
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OP, you make no mention of how your husband feels about this.
I think that is a key piece of the puzzle. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Wow. Thank you for the quick responses!
21:25- Re: husband's earning potential I'd say our earning potentials are comparable. Until two years ago he was earning considerably more than I was, then I had a couple lucky breaks. Also, I'll max out of my field in anther $30K or so. 21:21- Re: "If you can SAHM and still pay the bills, then it's really just a personal decision. Don't let the rest of us tell you how to live your life." I completely agree, and thank you! I just want to see if there are perspectives I haven't considered. I'd hate to get two years down the road and realize "duh, if only I'd realized ..." Those moments are not entirely avoidable, but I'm trying to be thoughtful about this. 22:09- Apologies for leaving out a key piece of information! My husband is completely supportive either way. He feels like the decision is more mine since his view is that it really comes down to how I want to spend my time. On this key point we have different views. My view is that this is a hugely joint decision with very significant financial consequences for both of us. Then again, he had a SAHM and my mom worked, so most of his life he assumed he would be the sole source of income for his family. Not that he minds the amount we are able to save since with both work. 
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Anonymous
| The only thing I'd add (new poster here) is that around 2 to 3 they become real pains to be around. It is NOT sunshine and rainbows, let me tell you. |
Anonymous
My reality as a SAHM is: Lunch out with girlfriends at least once or twice a week. I belong to a gym that has childcare and I do workouts with friends. I'm fit and in shape due to above. Children spend time in school each week and I spend the time however I like. I guess I'm living your fantasy life. |
Anonymous
NP...what's your HHI to be able to afford it all? |
Anonymous
| It sounds like a big financial risk. Why 10 years? Maybe take 2-3 years off and then go back. |