In this situation, do you think two parties are necessary?

[Anonymous]

We live in Montgomery County (Aspen Hill area), we're having a birthday party for our daughter in Rockville in two weeks. Evite has already gone out to both families (my family lives in Frederick County with a few being in Montgomery County and DH's family is in PG and DC). My family members and MIL have responded that they're coming, but no one else in DH's family has responded except for the few that said no. DH and MIL decided it would be best to have a second party that Monday at her house so that DH's family will attend. DH told me I need to stop having parties in our area because his family won't come because we live "too far". I just think two birthday parties is ridiculous! I don't think PG is that long of a drive that they can't come out for a few hours. I could understand if we live out of state, but we don't. What do you guys think? Am I right or wrong?

[Anonymous]

so you can drive, but they can't?

[Anonymous]

Your in laws are rude

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so you can drive, but they can't?

Apparently not since we're the only ones in Montgomery County. My MIL and SIL live in PG and always attend so I really don't see why the rest of them can't.

[Anonymous]

That's ridiculous. My mom flies in from FL for my daughter's birthday parties.

[Anonymous]

My kids have always had two birthday parties. One for friends at a place, and one for extended family at home (the second one is sometimes combined with other relatives having a birthday in the same month).

We have relatives who'll drive up to two and a half hours or more (traffic) for birthday parties.

[Anonymous]

No. I think that's silly. Your in-laws can be a bit more flexible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids have always had two birthday parties. One for friends at a place, and one for extended family at home (the second one is sometimes combined with other relatives having a birthday in the same month).

We have relatives who'll drive up to two and a half hours or more (traffic) for birthday parties.

That's a little different. In this case it would be mom's family at one and dad's family at the other. I just don't see why both families can't come together at one party. I can't put it all on DH's family because my Frederick family can be the same way.

[Anonymous]

Having two parties isn't weird to me - we do that all the time. One on the birthday with family and one the weekend after the birthday with friends. But having a party at someone else's place because they are too lazy to drive over...nope. Either you care enough to come or you don't. If there's no reason not to be able to make the drive then that's just lazy and rude and will not be tolerated by me whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like two parties are necessary in your situation, OP. For now, I'd go along. When your daughter is older, then it may need to change.

[Anonymous]

Did you and your husband discuss the details before the invites went out?

If your DH agrees that a 2nd party is needed, either he was unaware, was not engaged, misunderstood OR his mom called and told him how wrong he was and what he needs to do to fix it.

Rockville is a whole lot closer to Fredrick than PG and depending on where in Rockville, how long the party is, where they live in PG they can possibly spend more time in the car than at the party.

[Anonymous]

[u]

Anonymous wrote:Did you and your husband discuss the details before the invites went out?

If your DH agrees that a 2nd party is needed, either he was unaware, was not engaged, misunderstood OR his mom called and told him how wrong he was and what he needs to do to fix it.

Rockville is a whole lot closer to Fredrick than PG and depending on where in Rockville, how long the party is, where they live in PG they can possibly spend more time in the car than at the party.

We talked about it beforehand. It was DH's idea to have the second party because he knew his family wouldn't show up.

The party is at Norbeck Park and most of them are coming from Laurel, Bowie, and Upper Marlboro. MIL is coming from Fort Washington so if she can come, I don't see why the rest can't.

[Anonymous]

That's ridiculous. You have the party at your house or a location nearby. Don't get the two family-two party tradition started or you will be expected to do it every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's ridiculous. You have the party at your house or a location nearby. Don't get the two family-two party tradition started or you will be expected to do it every year.

Exactly! I just don't get why both families just can't come together.

[Anonymous]

If your husband's family thinks it's too far and they won't come and your husband wants them there, then you have two options: move the party closer to husband's family or have two parties. Both options sound perfectly fine to me. Honestly, it doesn't matter that you think the party is close enough to your husband's family. Each family has different commitments and different ideas as to reasonable length to travel. I am fine with two to three hours for a family party so long as it fits within our schedules, but I bet most people are not. That doesn't make others wrong. It just makes people different.