Why would a college sophomore ask my high school junior out?

[Anonymous]

DS declined (he has a girlfriend) but I think it is very odd that a college sophomore would call him up and ask him out in the first place. He met her at an event last weekend so it isn't as if they were longtime friends. DS is nice looking and all but... come on, he is a junior in high school! He is not that interesting or charming.

If the genders were reversed, I would have no trouble guessing why a college boy would ask out a high school girl but I can't imagine the same motivation would be true in this case.

[Anonymous]

How "nice looking" is your DS? My nephew was Brad Pitt/George Clooney gorgeous in high school (still is) and would get hit on by all ages of girls.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she is emotionally immature.

[Anonymous]

Maybe your son is a slight. Maybe he's a charmer. Maybe he lied about his age. Maybe he's insanely attractive. I'm guessing it has to do with something he doesn't want to tell you about.

Especially since he gave her his number or enough info for her find his Number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS declined (he has a girlfriend) but I think it is very odd that a college sophomore would call him up and ask him out in the first place. He met her at an event last weekend so it isn't as if they were longtime friends. DS is nice looking and all but... come on, he is a junior in high school! He is not that interesting or charming.

If the genders were reversed, I would have no trouble guessing why a college boy would ask out a high school girl but I can't imagine the same motivation would be true in this case.

That's why. And they probably got along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS declined (he has a girlfriend) but I think it is very odd that a college sophomore would call him up and ask him out in the first place. He met her at an event last weekend so it isn't as if they were longtime friends. DS is nice looking and all but... come on, he is a junior in high school! He is not that interesting or charming.

If the genders were reversed, I would have no trouble guessing why a college boy would ask out a high school girl but I can't imagine the same motivation would be true in this case.

That's why. And they probably got along.

+1 I bet your son is much better than just "nice looking and all".

[Anonymous]

Are you sure she knows how old he really is? Perhaps you're not getting the full story.

[Anonymous]

Nothing against your DS, OP, but the college student is probably not socially active at her own school.

[Anonymous]

I'm assuming that the college sophomore asked your high school junior out because she thought that it would be fun to go out with him. It's not like she's proposing marriage.

[Anonymous]

I get your underlying fear. It is true that if the sexes were reversed and a college-age guy was showing interest in your high school DD, DCUM would view it as predatory without a second thought.

As a society we've been late to acknowledge that men and boys face inappropriate advances. They are viewed as "atta boy!" rather than taken more seriously. When my brother was a teen, I saw two women in their 40s deliver open and explicit invitations to him. It was horrible. He handled it well, but my god, why should he have ever been put in that situation and why did these women feel so comfortable "joking" about initiating him?

I think someone like the Rock talked about how all of his early sexual experiences were with women in their thirties. He was full grown at twelve. He wasn't bragging or asking for sympathy. It was stated as fact and the interview continued without any further comment.

I think there was also a very moving Law and Order SVU episode where an attractive young boy suffered sexual attacks from a mother at his school. It was only revealed because it was tangential to a case where someone had placed video cameras in a public toilet.

You didn't ask for advice on how to broach the subject with your DS. So, I'm just offering up sympathy here. It's not awesome. Not cool. Not something to be congratulated about. Certainly nothing to be ignored. It's foul.

Your gut response to this is absolutely correct. Your son did the right thing 1. by declining the offer, and 2. making you aware of the situation. That speaks well of your relationship with him and his personal character.

FWIW, I hear you and completely agree that this is highly inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I get your underlying fear. It is true that if the sexes were reversed and a college-age guy was showing interest in your high school DD, DCUM would view it as predatory without a second thought.

As a society we've been late to acknowledge that men and boys face inappropriate advances. They are viewed as "atta boy!" rather than taken more seriously. When my brother was a teen, I saw two women in their 40s deliver open and explicit invitations to him. It was horrible. He handled it well, but my god, why should he have ever been put in that situation and why did these women feel so comfortable "joking" about initiating him?

I think someone like the Rock talked about how all of his early sexual experiences were with women in their thirties. He was full grown at twelve. He wasn't bragging or asking for sympathy. It was stated as fact and the interview continued without any further comment.

I think there was also a very moving Law and Order SVU episode where an attractive young boy suffered sexual attacks from a mother at his school. It was only revealed because it was tangential to a case where someone had placed video cameras in a public toilet.

You didn't ask for advice on how to broach the subject with your DS. So, I'm just offering up sympathy here. It's not awesome. Not cool. Not something to be congratulated about. Certainly nothing to be ignored. It's foul.

Your gut response to this is absolutely correct. Your son did the right thing 1. by declining the offer, and 2. making you aware of the situation. That speaks well of your relationship with him and his personal character.

FWIW, I hear you and completely agree that this is highly inappropriate.

+1 well stated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I get your underlying fear. It is true that if the sexes were reversed and a college-age guy was showing interest in your high school DD, DCUM would view it as predatory without a second thought.

As a society we've been late to acknowledge that men and boys face inappropriate advances. They are viewed as "atta boy!" rather than taken more seriously. When my brother was a teen, I saw two women in their 40s deliver open and explicit invitations to him. It was horrible. He handled it well, but my god, why should he have ever been put in that situation and why did these women feel so comfortable "joking" about initiating him?

I think someone like the Rock talked about how all of his early sexual experiences were with women in their thirties. He was full grown at twelve. He wasn't bragging or asking for sympathy. It was stated as fact and the interview continued without any further comment.

I think there was also a very moving Law and Order SVU episode where an attractive young boy suffered sexual attacks from a mother at his school. It was only revealed because it was tangential to a case where someone had placed video cameras in a public toilet.

You didn't ask for advice on how to broach the subject with your DS. So, I'm just offering up sympathy here. It's not awesome. Not cool. Not something to be congratulated about. Certainly nothing to be ignored. It's foul.

Your gut response to this is absolutely correct. Your son did the right thing 1. by declining the offer, and 2. making you aware of the situation. That speaks well of your relationship with him and his personal character.

FWIW, I hear you and completely agree that this is highly inappropriate.

A college sophomore is 19-20. A high school junior is 16-17. A three year age difference is hardly predatory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


FWIW, I hear you and completely agree that this is highly inappropriate.

Why is it highly inappropriate? Most likely the high school junior is 17, and the college sophomore is 20.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


FWIW, I hear you and completely agree that this is highly inappropriate.

Why is it highly inappropriate? Most likely the high school junior is 17, and the college sophomore is 20.

Or perhaps still 19.

This is much ado about nothing.

[Anonymous]

What sort of event was this?