This is what my MIL says to DH and me all of the time. We have NEVER (I repeat, NEVER) asked for money nor have we ever given them the impression that we are waiting for them to croak. Honestly, when my MIL says this, it’s insulting to me.
The ILs are in the midst of a second home remodel and have repeatedly bragged about how expensive it is (heated floors, tiles, fancy faucet, etc) and then tell us how they are “spending money like it’s going out of style” and "we are spending your inheritance". Maybe they think it's funny. So far, I have not said anything but it’s starting to really grate on me. I hate confrontations and nothing good can come from one in this case but I don’t want to hear that phrase again. |
Don't know why it would bother you? As long as they don't leave you with debt I don't see any issues? I encourage my mom to spend more of her money...i don't want it when she's dead, i want her to have fun and enriching experiences when she's alive!!!! Let them enjoy their remodel. |
"Great! We're so happy you're enjoying everything you worked so hard for!" |
I would probably say something like "It is your money to spend, you should spend it on what makes you happy and financially secure." I agree that it would be annoying, although the flip side can be just as annoying which is my parents refusing to spend money because it is my inheritance. I tell them all the time to just spend it. |
How about "It's your money. I hope you're enjoying it." and then change the subject? |
My parents say that too. And I just reply "good, I hope you are enjoying it" "it's your money, do what you want" or some variation on that theme. Or even "I'd rather have you here and spending it then be dead"
Perhaps one of those responses might work? |
I hate that phrase. My aunt and uncle say that to my cousins. Their kids are doing fine but just. It seems like they are rubbing my cousins' noses in it. I think spending their money is fine and it totally ok but the fact that they say such a thing to younger people who stretch for more basic necessities is just rude. I think it is part of this whole "die poor" thing. In the case of my Aunt, the single biggest event that helped her climb out of debt was my grandmother's death and the money she inherited. So in her case it seems very odd. |
It would annoy me too, OP. It has nothing to do with actually expecting to inherit from them, but rather their lack of sensitivity about saying this and suggesting that you're waiting for them to kick so you can take their money. It is crass. Just ignore it. |
OP here. I completely agree with you!! DH and I don't expect anything. We would rather they spend their money and enjoy it but omit how they are spending our inheritance. |
Do we have the same in-laws? Mine have been bleeding money for the last year and a half on stuff for their house and taking trips. We don't care about their money, but they keep saying "Here goes your inheritance." It's annoying and obnoxious. Spend the money but stop talking about how you're dropping loads of cash when we're just living our lives. |
They are probably feeling a little bit of guilt spending like that, and the comment is a way to deflect it a bit.
Or they are absolutely loaded and what they are spending is a drop in the bucket, so it's a joke. |
. Bleeding money -- your choice of words indicate this is an issue for you |
Trashy. |
Just make sure they have their long term care needs met. Plan on $10K a month minimum for nursing home care. |
Good for you, that's awesome! |