my daughter hates religious school
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Anonymous
| OK, I disliked it, too--it's school, it's on a weekend, and I had no friends there. But. You gotta go; it's just Sunday mornings; and there are important lessons to be learned. It's sad that it's such a struggle every week. The teachers are young and nice and clueless. I wish my daughter (who is 10) could make a friend, but no. She did have a friend last year, but they changed synagogues. So it's a lonely trail. Somedays I don't want to go, either (there is adult learning while the kids are in class). Any guidance welcome. |
Anonymous
| I agree with you but I think you shouldn't push it past 12. I made my kids go from 6-12 and then it was up to them. Of course they all never went a day past 12 but at some point you have to honor their preference if you ever want to create a positive association with religion. |
Anonymous
| I'm going to say something very unhelpful. I despised every second of Hebrew school when I was a kid. I decided not to send my kids unless they wanted to, and of course they don't. Sorry I can't offer any help. |
Anonymous
| You don't "gotta go" |
Anonymous
|
OP, I sympathize with you; I have a ten year old DS who is not a big fan of Sunday school, at least on a weekly basis. Kudos for recognizing the importance of this despite the protestations
I'm sorry to hear that the teachers are "clueless." Ironically, that could be part of the problem. Does she feel like she is wasting her time and not learning anything substantial? So many religious institutions play down to kids this age, when they intellectually can start handling more. If so, can you speak to someone about this? We have an active children's committee that at least listens to situations like this. I agree that if she had a friend or two there, it would help. I have encouraged my DS to find friends there; I think its neat that he meets kids from different schools and has the beginnings of a church group of friends, in addition to his day to day school buds. Can she pick one or two girls and invite them to do something? |
Anonymous
I disagree with this. Why is 12 the magic age? Are you going to let them decide to stay home from school, too, because they don't like it? Religious training is part of a well-rounded education. Mom knows better about this than a 10 year old. |
Anonymous
| My 10 year old likes her Religious a Education class but they do a lot of things she likes such as singing and writing. |
Anonymous
| I assume that a Bat Mitzvah at 13 is the goal? |
Anonymous
|
I teach Sunday school at my synagouge, fifth grade. At that age, just getting up early on a Sunday morning is tough. I do see a few kids in my class that have an 'I don't want to be here' attitude but during the time they are there you see them doing something they enjoy.
I suggest talking to the school administrator, the teacher, and the rabbi. Let them know what your daughter is going through so they can help figure out how to make it a better experience. A huge part of being there is making friends so I can see if she doesn't have anyone to hang out with making her reluctant to go. Is there another class or session that has more girls she likes? GL |
Anonymous
Do your kids now have a positive association with religion, after 6 years of forced attendance? |
Anonymous
|
I hated Sunday school and hebrew school. It was school after school and none of my friends had to do it.
For my kids I wanted it to be different. I enrolled them in day school. It's not a plan for everyone but for my family it works. The other thing I was take the kids to shul every Shabbat since they were infants. They know if they want a sat playdate, they'll find it at shul. It gives them a sense of community and it's always been a part of their lives so they don't fight me on it. |
Anonymous
| My brother and I were forced to go to Hebrew school. At first it was 2 hours on Sundays and then it was 2.5 hours a day twice a week for several years. We both vehemently hated it. We were forced to stay until we graduated (around 12/13) and forced to get bar/bat mitzvah'd. We still have horrible memories of it and we're 38 and 40. We had friends there and knew lots of kids from public school. |
Anonymous
| Why do they "gotta go"? You seem intelligent enough so why not stop this silliness? |
Anonymous
| I would recommend finding another school that she might like more. Another thing you can do is find out who she likes in her class and invite that child for a weekly play date. She needs to establish a relationship with the kids outside if school. Are there any social events planned for her class outside of school? Those are great bonding times for the kids. You could invite her class and their families over to your home for a pot luck Shabbat dinner. That's what we do, and the kids have a blast and get to know one another better. Suggest that the school plan outside activities for your child's class like bowling, a picnic, miniature golf. It's hard for kids to come in where they don't have a good bond with the other kids. If your daughter had some good friends in the class, she would want to go.... I guaranty it! I have seen it with my own kids. Another alternative would be private tutoring. She needs to learn about her religion and have a positive Jewish identity. I would also recommend a Jewish sleep away camp. That does wonders for getting a child I have a positive Jewish identity in the face of a negative religious school experience. |
Anonymous
perhaps you could try to treat her like a human with free will and reasoning and not brainwash her like a prisoner. CPS should be called on you - not on the parents of 'free range' kids |