Is the fervor for getting into 'top schools' fueled by insecurity and inequality?

[Anonymous]

Is the intense desire to get into top schools a reflection of society's insecurity and growing SES inequality?

I can't help but sense this is a large part of it.

[Anonymous]

People who went to top school believe that the only reason they are successful is because of the contacts they made in the "top schools". They are told this when they are hired "we only hire from top schools" and they they preach it "we only hire from top 10 schools".

They start to believe that people who don't go to these school are not successful and they would never want to be them, they don't want to be them. They preach this to their children... 'you need to go to a top school' ... the connections, you will never get hired. 75% of college grads can't find jobs.

The rest of us... we watch this craziness.

I am lucky, I have family that have gone to top schools, middle schools, trade schools, no school, etc.

Guess what ... some are happy and some are not... some are successful ... some are not.

The electrician and the caterer family members have just as big of a house, beach house, ski chalet as the doctors and lawyers.

Google just came out and said they were short sighted limiting their hiring practices. Wow ... a bunch of people from top schools with SAT scores as close to perfect as possible... it took them this long to figure that out. Ha! The guy that started Google when to UMD.

[Anonymous]

I vote for insecurity. Kids afraid to look less than perfect in the eyes of their peers, raised by parents afraid of their kids looking less than perfect in the eyes of their peers, along with social media causing 100% insecure kids who are afraid that, if it doesn't look good on Facebook, Twitter, etc., it is not worth doing/having/being seen there. I see no reason SES would have anything to do with it.

[Anonymous]

I think it is growing inequality. People fear that if their kids don't make it to the top then they will be left out and unable to buy a decent home, find a spouse, and generally have a good life.

[Anonymous]

Survival instincts gone haywire!

[Anonymous]

DC applied to several schools and was accepted to the one Ivy applied to. DC turned down the Ivy for the first choice, USC (California). It was all about fit and, yes, DC second guessed over and over for the very reasons stated in other posts. We all knew that DC would be miserable at any HYP and USC was a far better fit for this sunshine student.

Sometimes you just have to say 'no" regardless of the tag and it's connections.

[Anonymous]

I just thought they were all snobs. Like the PP, I see plenty of evidence that the rank of the school does not equate to success and happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC applied to several schools and was accepted to the one Ivy applied to. DC turned down the Ivy for the first choice, USC (California). It was all about fit and, yes, DC second guessed over and over for the very reasons stated in other posts. We all knew that DC would be miserable at any HYP and USC was a far better fit for this sunshine student.

Sometimes you just have to say 'no" regardless of the tag and it's connections.

USC is a top 25 school and for LA jobs, is just as valuable as HYP (even in finance and consulting, which hyp shovel a disproportionate # to). I guess I should've rephrased to top25, though I do agree the craziness gets exponentially worse as you talk about top 10 schools.

If your kid turned it down for University of South Carolina, that would be a proper agonizing decision.

[Anonymous]

Now that we are about to complete my eldest's senior year, I think the "fervor" is over blown in the media and on sites like this. We are at one of the "fervor" schools, and I just didn't see it to the extent that it is portrayed. I saw most parents looking for the best fit for their child that is within their budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I vote for insecurity. Kids afraid to look less than perfect in the eyes of their peers, raised by parents afraid of their kids looking less than perfect in the eyes of their peers, along with social media causing 100% insecure kids who are afraid that, if it doesn't look good on Facebook, Twitter, etc., it is not worth doing/having/being seen there. I see no reason SES would have anything to do with it.

When it comes to placing blame, don't forget it's the execs I. The companies, law firms, etc, that create unreasonable job competitiveness that trickles down from the boardroom to the classroom.

This attitude did not start with the kids and not even their parents. The do or die comes from much higher up. Those that have the gold make the rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC applied to several schools and was accepted to the one Ivy applied to. DC turned down the Ivy for the first choice, USC (California). It was all about fit and, yes, DC second guessed over and over for the very reasons stated in other posts. We all knew that DC would be miserable at any HYP and USC was a far better fit for this sunshine student.

Sometimes you just have to say 'no" regardless of the tag and it's connections.

USC is a top 25 school and for LA jobs, is just as valuable as HYP (even in finance and consulting, which hyp shovel a disproportionate # to). I guess I should've rephrased to top25, though I do agree the craziness gets exponentially worse as you talk about top 10 schools.

If your kid turned it down for University of South Carolina, that would be a proper agonizing decision.

Your negative comparison of U South Carolina in favor of a more 'proper agonizing decision' is exactly the mindset that we are talking about discouraging. There should be no shame no matter where you ho.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the intense desire to get into top schools a reflection of society's insecurity and growing SES inequality?

I can't help but sense this is a large part of it.

I think it's the rat race. Your environment compells you to do better or as well as your perceived peers. Move away from DC insanity, and realize what it means to live LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC applied to several schools and was accepted to the one Ivy applied to. DC turned down the Ivy for the first choice, USC (California). It was all about fit and, yes, DC second guessed over and over for the very reasons stated in other posts. We all knew that DC would be miserable at any HYP and USC was a far better fit for this sunshine student.

Sometimes you just have to say 'no" regardless of the tag and it's connections.

USC is a top 25 school and for LA jobs, is just as valuable as HYP (even in finance and consulting, which hyp shovel a disproportionate # to). I guess I should've rephrased to top25, though I do agree the craziness gets exponentially worse as you talk about top 10 schools.

If your kid turned it down for University of South Carolina, that would be a proper agonizing decision.

Your negative comparison of U South Carolina in favor of a more 'proper agonizing decision' is exactly the mindset that we are talking about discouraging. There should be no shame no matter where you ho.

*go*

[Anonymous]

There is a difference in today's society that we cannot ignore. Globalization and technology have contributed to a winner-take-all society and that, in turn, fuels a lot of this competition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I vote for insecurity. Kids afraid to look less than perfect in the eyes of their peers, raised by parents afraid of their kids looking less than perfect in the eyes of their peers, along with social media causing 100% insecure kids who are afraid that, if it doesn't look good on Facebook, Twitter, etc., it is not worth doing/having/being seen there. I see no reason SES would have anything to do with it.

When it comes to placing blame, don't forget it's the execs I. The companies, law firms, etc, that create unreasonable job competitiveness that trickles down from the boardroom to the classroom.

This attitude did not start with the kids and not even their parents. The do or die comes from much higher up. Those that have the gold make the rules.

IDK, I know a kid who went to Sweet Briar and was hired straight out of school by Morgan Stanley in DC, another who went to Hampden Sydney and was hired right out of school by a Wall Street brokerage firm making 6 figures. No other connections or family. Another I know was hired out of GMU for a NYC advertising position. Another friend's DC went to VT fashion design school and was hired right out of school at a NYC fashion house. Not every exec is looking for that elite degree.

While all anecdotal, I do know that each kid had some combination or all of the following: Excellent grades, study abroad and continued with a foreign language all throughout school, very diverse interests and studies/minors, and participated fully in everything the college had to offer, which led to good internships, which led to connections, and in each case, the connection was what led to the job.