Ok I know I don't have a right to live in my moms house...but...

[Anonymous]

I'm upset about it anyway.

We bought our home 2 years ago and we are ready to sell as we are just not as happy with the home as we thought we would be. Back yard is high maintenance, constant bugs in the house despite pest control, weird layout, kitchen too small, no basement and some other quirks that we are just completely over. We happened to look at the comps in our area and found that because the market is so competitive where we live (not DC anymore) we stand to make a significant amount of money - money we could use to pay off credit card debt and use as a down payment on another home. But the flip side is because there's no inventory and because the market is so competitive, we know it'll take time to find something we really love and even then we will more than likely end up in bidding wars, etc.

My mom lives 10 minutes down the road from us and so I asked her if we could live with her during that in between time and she said yes except I cannot bring my dog. My 6lb dog that I've had for 7 years and will NOT re-home. She just put hardwoods in her house and is convinced he will ruin them. I told her he'd be crated when we weren't there, etc., and she still said no. Ok, I get it that it's her house, but it's frustrating nonetheless. This financial carrot, and the opportunity to rid of this house, is dangling in front of our faces and the only way we can pull it off is if we can stay with her and she says no because of my little dog (who I take with us every time we go visit her anyway)?! My mom is single and my husband has always helped her with anything she needs. Just a couple of weeks ago she called us last minute at 9 at night to help with a piece of furniture that wouldn't fit in her car and without hesitation he picked it up and it took it to her house for her. This is just one thing but you get the idea. We have ALWAYS helped her with anything she needs and now that we need a favor she suddenly has a stipulation that knows would break my heart to meet. Getting an apartment would be a complete waste of money so that's not an option.

I'm not sure how to go forward. Part of me wants to just tell her flat out "No" the next time she needs something but on the other hand I have to understand where she's coming from as well. It is her home. I'm just really, really, really frustrated right now and needed a place to vent.

[Anonymous]

You need to grow up. Either board the dog, or live somewhere else. You're an adult, and your mom has every right to make decisions about her home.

[Anonymous]

If it helps, keep in mind that her refusal isn't keeping you from selling your house. It's just keeping it from being easier than normal. The situation you describe -- where you could sell easy, but it would take time to buy -- is what most people face. It's not ideal, but they make it work, and so can you.

[Anonymous]

Her house, her floors.

[Anonymous]

I would feel the same way. You want to make money off your house and live rent free with your mom. No dog. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Can't you rent for a few months while you find something new?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Yes I know I need to grow up and get over it. Doesn't take the frustration away though. I hate this house and we've been slowly chipping away and debt and now we have this awesome opportunity and we can't do it.

And of course we could rent but it's expensive in our area and it would feel like a complete waste of money to pay $1k a month and get stuck in a lease when my mom's 4 bedroom house is just down the road and sitting empty 70% of the time (she travels for work).

If I didn't know any better I would think she's just being passive aggressive. She didn't have a problem with my out of state baby sister and her cat temporarily moving in with her a few weeks ago - sis decided to stay where she is in the end but the door was open for her regardless.

I guess an apartment might me our only option anyway.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I'm with your mom on this one. I got new hardwoods a couple years ago and still wouldn't let anyone with a dog live with me. I don't care if the dog is under 5 lbs. Can a friend take the dog while you temporarily stay with your mother?

[Anonymous]

What if you told her that you would pay for any damage the dog does to the floors? It's unlikely that a 6 pound dog would do anything. I have a 22 pound dog and wood floors and it's fine. Just keep the dog's nails trimmed.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you ask your friends if anyone would be willing to keep your dog with them for a few weeks while you stay at your Mom's house and sell your house? Or find a pet boarding house as another PP suggested. Sounds pretty easy to me.

Your mom is not the one keeping you from staying with her. Your adamant refusal to find an alternative short-term home for your dog, e.g. you and your decision are preventing you from taking advantage of the financial situation. Penny-wise and pound foolish. You're not rehoming the dog; you're boarding the dog for few weeks.

[Anonymous]

While my parents wouldn't hesitate to have us stay with them, if we had a dog it would be a non-starter. Not allowed. My mother has always had a no animals policy. Her house, her rules.

That she would even consider letting you move in (even sans dog) for an undetermined amount of time is a big sacrifice on her part for someone who is used to living completely alone.

[Anonymous]

Nope, I am with you, I would be annoyed. Your mother sounds selfish. I do not care about new hardwood floors she sounds selfish.

The best thing you could do is offer to buy some cheapo area rugs that you can toss on the floor until you move out if she lets you.

Sorry!

[Anonymous]

You put it out here so I'm going to say you seem to have some feelings of entitlement. In the space of two posts you also call your mother passive aggressive, claim she favors your sister and say you might tell her "no" the next time she asks for help.

The PPs are right. It's time to grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you ask your friends if anyone would be willing to keep your dog with them for a few weeks while you stay at your Mom's house and sell your house? Or find a pet boarding house as another PP suggested. Sounds pretty easy to me.

Your mom is not the one keeping you from staying with her. Your adamant refusal to find an alternative short-term home for your dog, e.g. you and your decision are preventing you from taking advantage of the financial situation. Penny-wise and pound foolish. You're not rehoming the dog; you're boarding the dog for few weeks.

+1 You may also want to read between the lines and reconsider bringing your dog with you every time you visit your mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You put it out here so I'm going to say you seem to have some feelings of entitlement. In the space of two posts you also call your mother passive aggressive, claim she favors your sister and say you might tell her "no" the next time she asks for help.

The PPs are right. It's time to grow up.

I agree. And the irresponsible decisions that led to the first home purchase (really? You just noticed all these things about the home? And you still have significant debt, yet want to buy a house more to your current liking?) make you sound immature, also.

I also agree with pp that's saying it isn't your mom making this difficult, it's your decision to prioritize the dog over all else.