If you are married to the favorite child, do you know it?

[Anonymous]

Sadly my spouse has realized his parents have a favorite of the four & that he is not it. I don't begrudge the parents liking one child more than the other, think it is human nature. We both agree that his parents & the fav are clueless and have a total lack of empathy in almost every situation not just this. The favoritism is pretty mild (compared to stuff I've read on DCUM) but pervasive & does directly affect him. Are you married to the favorite? Does your spouse realize they are? If spouse & parents are clueless, or even if not, do you try to do what you can to make things "fair.

[Anonymous]

Usually the favorite doesn't realize it and contributes to the dynamic.

I'm my parents favorite but only because I'm the "baby" by 10 years so by default I am treated as such. Even though I am now in my 30s sometimes I catch my parents treating me like I'm in college still. My sibling had gotten some nice gifts (down payment, roof) that I will likely never receive mostly because the economy hit my family hard. So while I might be favored in some ways my sibling also got some things that I won't get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Usually the favorite doesn't realize it and contributes to the dynamic.

I'm my parents favorite but only because I'm the "baby" by 10 years so by default I am treated as such. Even though I am now in my 30s sometimes I catch my parents treating me like I'm in college still. My sibling had gotten some nice gifts (down payment, roof) that I will likely never receive mostly because the economy hit my family hard. So while I might be favored in some ways my sibling also got some things that I won't get.

+1

"Me, me, me!!!!" -This applies if it a wedding, funeral, or anything in between.

I am married to the least favorite. The IL's are actually jealous. It's sad. But we don't mind.

[Anonymous]

I'm married to the favorite. And he's not just his parent's favorite,he's everyone's favorite. His grandparents, aunts, uncles, MY aunts/uncles, friends, everyone. When my cousin was drugged up for surgery, all she would talk about was how much she loves my DH. DH does know, but he downplays it because he's not a narcissist. He wouldn't admit for years that he knew he was the favorite.

When we first were dating, it was a lot to live up to. I think his family imagined someone better for him, but they do love me now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm married to the favorite. And he's not just his parent's favorite,he's everyone's favorite. His grandparents, aunts, uncles, MY aunts/uncles, friends, everyone. When my cousin was drugged up for surgery, all she would talk about was how much she loves my DH. DH does know, but he downplays it because he's not a narcissist. He wouldn't admit for years that he knew he was the favorite.

When we first were dating, it was a lot to live up to. I think his family imagined someone better for him, but they do love me now.

+1
I remember how my mom would light up if my husband showed up unexpectedly. He's got a lot of charisma.

[Anonymous]

I am the favorite and my DH knows that he is married to the favorite. I am the youngest so I think that happens a lot. But hoenstly, my parents are so high maintenance and nuts that this is bonus to be "the favorite"..its a lot more work for me and I prefer to scale back and manage our boundaries.

[Anonymous]

I'm married to the favorite, and I'm disturbed by their truly dysfunctional and toxic family dynamic. My husband was the better student, better looking, and has made a better life for himself than his younger brother. However, the family is always kind of rolling their eyes at what little brother says and does, so I do wonder if he would have been more successful if he'd been encouraged and praised rather than ridiculed and criticized as a kid.

[Anonymous]

I'm married to the favorite. It's pretty obvious, plus, the family always talks about how he is the favorite. It's pretty weird to me b/c in my family of origin, we really did not have a favorite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the favorite and my DH knows that he is married to the favorite. I am the youngest so I think that happens a lot. But hoenstly, my parents are so high maintenance and nuts that this is bonus to be "the favorite"..its a lot more work for me and I prefer to scale back and manage our boundaries.

+1. Being the favorite comes with a lot of baggage.

[Anonymous]

My SIL is the favorite (youngest, only girl, vivacious) and revels in it; my BIL milks it. She is super friendly and generous... as long as everyone cooperates with her being the top of the pecking order.

e.g. Not 15 minutes after loving on my infant daughter and saying how much she loved her, her own 3yo DD (the Heir to the Favorite) woke up from her nap and came into the room so SIL forced her parents to stop holding the baby because it would hurt her DD's feelings to see them holding someone who wasn't her.

[Anonymous]

I'm married to the favorite - I think he's the favorite because we live 1000 miles away and his siblings (who live in the same town as my MIL) have to deal with her every day - distance makes the heart grow fonder. He's also brilliant so I think she's also in awe of him as well.

[Anonymous]

Married to Golden Boy/favorite/oldest son (as is often the case). Oddly DH didn't see this until I brought it to his attention when we were engaged.

What's weird is his only other sibling, now has kind of supplanted his brother's status. In his brother's case, he is divorced with two kids and so my ILs devote all extra time to the brother and are helping to raise his kids.

[Anonymous]

I am married to the favorite. It has taken me a long time to realize how spoiled and selfish he is.

[Anonymous]

My H's brother is the favorite. It's actually rather sad to see my H still striving to be recognized and not being able to stand up to his parents because more than anything he wants their approval.

BIL, on the other hand, generally treats my ILs poorly and they go after him even harder trying to get his attention and affection.

Strange family.

[Anonymous]

My best friend is married to the obvious favorite. Her oldest child is the favorite out of 6 cousins (two families). It can be a bit weird at times and I am not even part of the family.