Having a baby with an ex

[Anonymous]

I'm a single Mom, not by choice. I met a wonderful man but our relationship did not work out because his job does not work with having a family. I am getting older but would like to have one more child to complete my family. My child has also been asking for a sibling. I already know that being a co parent can be a difficult prospect and with this man he won't really be that involved because of work. Anyone choose to have a second child alone?

[Anonymous]

Use a sperm donor. So much less complicated. Don't choose to bring that complication into your kids' life by choice.

If you can't afford donor sperm, maybe another kid is more than you should financially take on.

[Anonymous]

Is the dad of the first child involved?

My concern would be that if the first child has a dad in its life and the second child does not, that would seem kind of unfair to the second child. He/she could feel cheated.

Are you saying you'd have the second child by the father of the first? If both have the same situation, it could be ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Use a sperm donor. So much less complicated. Don't choose to bring that complication into your kids' life by choice.

If you can't afford donor sperm, maybe another kid is more than you should financially take on.

I could afford a sperm donor and, of course, another child. The aspect of sperm donor that I don't care for is the fact that you don't know the person. I know my ex, pluses and minuses from a health, mental, and physical perspective. It would also allow my child to have a relationship with a Father even if he can't always be present.

[Anonymous]

Would your ex be up for this?

[Anonymous]

How old is the child you have?
Depending on the age I think it could be confusing to him/her for mom & dad to be having a baby together but not be together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the dad of the first child involved?

My concern would be that if the first child has a dad in its life and the second child does not, that would seem kind of unfair to the second child. He/she could feel cheated.

Are you saying you'd have the second child by the father of the first? If both have the same situation, it could be ok.

Different Dads. First ex is involved. Yes the second child would have less of a close relationship with his Dad when work interferes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is the child you have?
Depending on the age I think it could be confusing to him/her for mom & dad to be having a baby together but not be together.

Different Dad. Child is currently 6 and would be 7 or 8 if we had a baby. Ex is on board and leaving the decision to me. His stance is that I know how his work interferes with having a normal family life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the dad of the first child involved?

My concern would be that if the first child has a dad in its life and the second child does not, that would seem kind of unfair to the second child. He/she could feel cheated.

Are you saying you'd have the second child by the father of the first? If both have the same situation, it could be ok.

Different Dads. First ex is involved. Yes the second child would have less of a close relationship with his Dad when work interferes.

How many exes and children do you have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the dad of the first child involved?

My concern would be that if the first child has a dad in its life and the second child does not, that would seem kind of unfair to the second child. He/she could feel cheated.

Are you saying you'd have the second child by the father of the first? If both have the same situation, it could be ok.

Different Dads. First ex is involved. Yes the second child would have less of a close relationship with his Dad when work interferes.

How many exes and children do you have?

1 and 1

[Anonymous]

I am so confused.

You want your ex who is the father of your child to possibly be the father of a second child with you. Correct?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so confused.

You want your ex who is the father of your child to possibly be the father of a second child with you. Correct?

No, this is an ex boyfriend not the Father of my child. The reason we broke up is that his job prevents him from ever becoming fully invested in a family life.

[Anonymous]

If he is of good moral character and you think you both can remain at the very least..."civil" to each other, then why not?

I would rather have a child with him vs. a stranger/sperm donor.

How old are you? Perhaps there is still time to meet a nice guy who wants kids.

[Anonymous]

What is this man's job that he is so unavailable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is this man's job that he is so unavailable?

I'm curious as well.