Having a baby with an ex

[Anonymous]

Eh go for it. But with the dad of the first child.

My sister was born because my mom purposely got pregnant, even though she'd just gotten divorced, because she wanted another kid and wanted me to have a sibling.

I'm glad she's around. She's glad she's around. Both of us are glad our dad wasn't around.

[Anonymous]

Op I hope you could try to be happy with the one child you have ... Not all kids need siblings. I vote no.

[Anonymous]

I vote overwhelmingly no, or sperm donor.

What are you going to do when this guy who is telling you he can't/won't get married all of the sudden gets married to someone else and has a child with her and starts providing for that child, but not yours?

[Anonymous]

How would you conceive this child?
If it would be the old fashioned way, and it takes numerous tries, you could begin to develop feelings for him again by spending all that time with him.

Think this through, OP. This is a horrible idea.

[Anonymous]

I think this could work!

I'm a single mom (by luck), and I plan to explain to my son when he grows up that I wanted him so badly, and I met a nice man who helped me create him - so our family is structured differently from other families, but it's still just as good. I think you could potentially do the same thing here, and you have the added benefit of your future child getting to meet the nice guy who helped you create him, whether or not he has huge involvement in your child's life.

good luck!

[Anonymous]

Well this is not the worst idea on the face of this planet, certainly not the best either. Go for it!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I'm reading this right, you would like to become a single mom to 2 children with 2 different fathers, neither of which are in their lives in any meaningful way.

It sounds like a situation most people would try to avoid at all costs, yet you are trying to make this happen.

Single woman do adopt and if they have more than one kid it is not likely to be a bio sibling of the first child. So I wouldn't go as far as to say most women try to avoid it at all costs.

OP, I would go with a sperm donor. It just seems less complicated. If you have the means to raise 2 children alone, and of course the desire, I don't see why you shouldn't pursue it.
Just don't over complicate it by adding another ex.

Adoption and sperm donor with no parental rights and possibly no known identity are not analogous situations to two baby daddies

[Anonymous]

Just ask your first ex to knock you up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just ask your first ex to knock you up

Honestly if you must go through with this. Your first ex if he is willing is probably your best option.
You are already co-parenting with him. You know how he is as a father. If something happens to you your kids will remain together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just ask your first ex to knock you up

Why would he agree to that?

[Anonymous]

DO NOT bring a child into the world knowing that the father will likely not be involved. Totally unfair and absurdly selfish.

[Anonymous]

This is weird, but I am kind of okay with it. I understand your logic in that you know the ex and have a better chance of reducing mental, physical, and other problems than with an anonymous sperm donor.

My biggest hesitation is that it sounds like you are still kind of hung up on the ex. You state that you broke up because his job does not support a family life-style. The truth is that if you loved each other, you could find a way to make it work. Are you 100% sure that you are subconsciously hoping that when you have he baby, he will change his mind and be around more?

Are you willing to let him have 50% custody if he demands it? Would you be happy sending your child off to spend time with his dad and his dad's new wife (he could get married to someone else, of course).

[Anonymous]

Do you wish for him to ejaculate inside of you or are you thinking of using a turkey baster?

[Anonymous]

The other thing you have to think about is that with two children born to different fathers, both unmarried, you will be a lot less likely to attract a quality guy. Especially combined with the naturally stressful period of newborn and young child (3 years at least). Have you thought about what this choice will do to your romantic/social life?

[Anonymous]

What will happen to your children if you die? If you don't have someone willing and able to take them both into their family, don't do it.