Having a baby with an ex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so confused.

You want your ex who is the father of your child to possibly be the father of a second child with you. Correct?

No, this is an ex boyfriend not the Father of my child. The reason we broke up is that his job prevents him from ever becoming fully invested in a family life.

Then I think this is a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he is of good moral character and you think you both can remain at the very least..."civil" to each other, then why not?

I would rather have a child with him vs. a stranger/sperm donor.

How old are you? Perhaps there is still time to meet a nice guy who wants kids.

I'm 38. His job requires extensive travel and long assignments abroad.

It's not ideal by any means but I haven't met anyone without deal breakers and a good person in 3 years. I feel like throwing in the towel!

[Anonymous]

This seems like a terrible idea. Nobody needs to have another baby this bad. You'd be dooming the child to having an absentee father. No man worth his salt would father a child under these conditions, and the fact that he's leaving this decision up to you means he is going to make good on his promise to not be involved. What the hell are you thinking?

[Anonymous]

If anything, I'd approach the father of your first child and see if he'd be willing to father a second child. Or at least have a discussion with him regarding giving your only a sibling. Then your children would be full siblings, less confusion about multiple baby daddies, less confusion about support/custody, etc.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to go with no on this one.
Your child doesn't need a sibling.
You probably don't truly want another baby it's just your age and biology talking.
The fact that you haven't found a decent guy in 3 years might be because you are still hung up on your ex and have made him out to be something better than he is in reality and are holding new guys to an impossible standard.
Perhaps you need to work on your dating strategy.
Then there is the issue of what if you do end up pregnant and it is a difficulty pregnancy or heaven forbid something happens to you during childbirth. Then what?
No.

[Anonymous]

Get your child a puppy and you volunteer as a hospital baby cuddler.
Everyone is happy and no extra drama.

[Anonymous]

ghetto or trailer trash?

[Anonymous]

Sounds sad for your second. You ex is basically offering to be a sperm donor while making it clear "he'll see the kid when he can" whiCh means pretty much never. So second kid will see that first kid has an involved dad and that will really affect second kid. Not that I would expect a selfish person to be able to understand that though

[Anonymous]

IF he is a great guy why not be together? Is his traveling the only reason you split? Lots of husbands travel. Why not get married and have a baby. He will be fully around when In town won't he?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IF he is a great guy why not be together? Is his traveling the only reason you split? Lots of husbands travel. Why not get married and have a baby. He will be fully around when In town won't he?

She says this guy is an ex because he wasn't a family man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he is of good moral character and you think you both can remain at the very least..."civil" to each other, then why not?

I would rather have a child with him vs. a stranger/sperm donor.

How old are you? Perhaps there is still time to meet a nice guy who wants kids.

I'm 38. His job requires extensive travel and long assignments abroad.

It's not ideal by any means but I haven't met anyone without deal breakers and a good person in 3 years. I feel like throwing in the towel!

So does the job of President of the United States, but last I checked, he still has a wife to whom he's made a commitment. I think you've bought this line that the guy "can't" get married when the reality is, he doesn't "want" to be married. Are you under the impression that his co-workers (in the same line of work) aren't married? What industry, pray tell, has all single men who "can't" get married?

[Anonymous]

to complete my family

YOUR family? and go out of your way to assure that the child won't have a father - at least not a stable, involved one, and thinking it's ok because it's what YOU want. geeezz that would be one way to screw up a kid's life. How about NO you don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Please don't do this, OP.

[Anonymous]

If I'm reading this right, you would like to become a single mom to 2 children with 2 different fathers, neither of which are in their lives in any meaningful way.

It sounds like a situation most people would try to avoid at all costs, yet you are trying to make this happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I'm reading this right, you would like to become a single mom to 2 children with 2 different fathers, neither of which are in their lives in any meaningful way.

It sounds like a situation most people would try to avoid at all costs, yet you are trying to make this happen.

Single woman do adopt and if they have more than one kid it is not likely to be a bio sibling of the first child. So I wouldn't go as far as to say most women try to avoid it at all costs.

OP, I would go with a sperm donor. It just seems less complicated. If you have the means to raise 2 children alone, and of course the desire, I don't see why you shouldn't pursue it.
Just don't over complicate it by adding another ex.