Should we offer money to gracious friend who offered to adopt deceased relative's dog?
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Anonymous
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My mother in law passed away recently. She had made a will 4 years ago, when she first got sick, in which she asked my SIL/BIL to take her dog after she died. The dog is 9 years old, very large and very hairy. Since then, SIL/BIL have had a set of twins and their own dog is getting old. It would be very hard for them to take MIL's dog. We too are not in a position to take on another dog. A friend of MIL's graciously offered to adopt him. The offer was totally unprompted, and the friend had no idea that we were struggling with what to do with the dog. We all agree that this friend would give the dog a great home and that MIL would be happy with this solution.
Here's the issue. I happen to know that this friend has had some financial struggles in the past. She has a home and food on the table and all of that, but she is retired and of course food, vet bills, etc. for a large, aging dog are not cheap. I'm wondering if we should offer the friend some money for the dog's care. DH and SIL are fine with paying whatever is needed but they think it would offend the friend to offer. They say she must be able to afford it since she offered to adopt him so readily. At this point, the friend has taken "custody" of the dog and he is getting settled in his new home. I would have to call or text the friend to offer $. I feel like j should. I'm certainly not going to go against DH and SIL's wishes but I think I could convince them. What do you all think? Should I make the offer? If so, how should I word it so that she doesn't automatically say no? (She is very generous.) If you think I should offer, how much do you think we should send? The dog's been pretty healthy so far but he is getting older. Thanks for your opinions. |
Anonymous
| Instead of money, could you bring over food/supplies for the dog? |
Anonymous
| I believe there's some sort of health insurance policy for pets available? Maybe you could get and pay for that, so vet bills are covered? |
Anonymous
| I think the dog should come with money. What about a flat 1k and say that it was in the will for the dog? |
Anonymous
Too late. It's too expensive to get it for old dogs, you have to do this when they're puppies. |
Anonymous
| I would just lie and say that MIL set aside money for whomever took her dog. |
Anonymous
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I was thinking $1-2K, depending on the size of the estate. I'd also say this money was part of the care of the dog in the will.
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Anonymous
| Could you give a big gift certificate to a pet store near her? If cash makes those of you involved uncomfortable. |
Anonymous
I like that. |
Anonymous
Yep, do this |
Anonymous
dog food isn't the expense here. It's upcoming vet bills on an aging dog. |
Anonymous
This is a very good solution. You could also arrange for delivery of dog food (pre-paid by you) routinely. |
Anonymous
| Or be so thankful that the dog is well taken care of, and let her know that you're there to help, whatever that help means. I also like the idea of giving her money to set aside for vet bills and the gift card to petsmart. Let her know that this would have made MIL very happy. I know that I would be ever so grateful if someone adopted my dogs - that is if my DH wasn't around. If something happens to me and he adopted out our dogs, I'd haunt him until the day he died! |
Anonymous
| We were in a similar situation and set up "dog support." We paid $100 a month and all vet bills. We explained it simply as the wish of the deceased for it to be paid this way. Of course we just paid it, not from the estate, but that would have been the wish from the deceased. |
Anonymous
| Send her a thank you card from you and your extended family with a nice Petsmart or Petco gift card. |