Caught 15 year old starting a fire

[Anonymous]

I caught him in the back yard burning a bunch of his old toys and what not. Should I be concerned or is this just something I should brush off?

[Anonymous]

How did he react?

[Anonymous]

Did u ask him why he was doing this?

There are two concerns here: one is mental, obviously, and I think what you are more concerned about; the second is, it's been quite dry lately. Embers could've set your house on fire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did he react?

He was scared and litterally shit himself when DH screamed at him. I don't know why DS did it, but he's never done it before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did he react?

He was scared and litterally shit himself when DH screamed at him. I don't know why DS did it, but he's never done it before.

Professional help for the whole family ASAP. Is your son afraid of your husband in general?

[Anonymous]

It's normal for kids to want to experiment with fire. Let him do so in a safe way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's normal for kids to want to experiment with fire. Let him do so in a safe way.

How many kids do you know who have experimented with fire?

[Anonymous]

The triad of sociopathy: bed wetting, mistreating animals and starting fires.

The fact that he had a bowel movement out of fear is also very troubling at 15 years old.

I think your family needs professional help, OP.

[Anonymous]

Aumm, yeah at this point I would be more concerned your 15 yo shit his pants.

[Anonymous]

wow - lots of over-reacting here! I went to TJ about 20 years ago and even the "smart kids" played with fire - we built little bonfires in the woods, tried burning different things in it etc. My husband now (who is most definitely not a sociopath) loves to "burn shit" in our fire pit. This kids was burning toys to see what happens, watch the flames....that's a very normal thing.

I'm not saying it's safe or smart - I'm saying without additional context I think it's WAY over-reacting to assume this is an issue beyond safety.

[Anonymous]

That is quite troubling, OP.

First, what materials was he burning? Wood makes sense, but plastic or other things that give off toxic fumes is idiotic.

Second, did you ask him what plan he had if the fire got out of control? Did he prepare a bucket of water? Rake any yard debris out of the way? The safest way to start a fire is to take out a patch of lawn and do it on soil. Not that you want your lawn destroyed, but just so he knows.

Third, do you think something more sinister was hidden with the toys? Drugs?

Fourth - biggest red flag. Soiling his pants at that age is.... wow. Does your child have anxiety issues, special needs, something happening right now?

You need to approach this calmly and with circumspection, and probably need to talk with a psychologist.

[Anonymous]

Such acts have often been associated with the rage and confusion of sexual molestation. The fact that these were his toys hints at self-blame.

(burning up personal items belonging to someone else would be an entirely different story)

Loosing control of his bowels indicates pure terror. This child needs serious help, now. I know of kids who started small fires who were arrested and labeled arsonists. It's a very serious matter. Please do not delay obtaining help for this kid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wow - lots of over-reacting here! I went to TJ about 20 years ago and even the "smart kids" played with fire - we built little bonfires in the woods, tried burning different things in it etc. My husband now (who is most definitely not a sociopath) loves to "burn shit" in our fire pit. This kids was burning toys to see what happens, watch the flames....that's a very normal thing.

I'm not saying it's safe or smart - I'm saying without additional context I think it's WAY over-reacting to assume this is an issue beyond safety.

This. My brother and his friends went through a phase of burning his old plastic army men, because it was fun/fascinating to watch them melt. My mom's only issue with it was the time they tried to do it inside the house -- she made them go into the backyard.

I'd be way more worried about the fact that your husband's yelling made your kid crap his pants!

[Anonymous]

^^^PP Experimentation with fire is pretty normal, in general. This situation most certainly is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is quite troubling, OP.

First, what materials was he burning? Wood makes sense, but plastic or other things that give off toxic fumes is idiotic.

Second, did you ask him what plan he had if the fire got out of control? Did he prepare a bucket of water? Rake any yard debris out of the way? The safest way to start a fire is to take out a patch of lawn and do it on soil. Not that you want your lawn destroyed, but just so he knows.

Third, do you think something more sinister was hidden with the toys? Drugs?

Fourth - biggest red flag. Soiling his pants at that age is.... wow. Does your child have anxiety issues, special needs, something happening right now?

You need to approach this calmly and with circumspection, and probably need to talk with a psychologist.

Wow. The kid is 15 years old, do you really think he was thinking about toxic fumes from burning plastic or had thought ahead to have a safety plan in place. Come on!!