DW no longer looks attractive to me, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

DW is great, I love her, and there aren't any deeper issues. She just has gained weight and is starting to look older. I think a large part of the changes are due to the stress of having kids. I feel like a jerk for not being attracted to her any more. I don't want to say anything to her.

Are there any tips for getting the lust back? We're still having sex about 2-3 times a month, so it's n not that bad, but I'm less interested than I would like to be.

[Anonymous]

How do you look? Be honest. I doubt you look like you did on your wedding day.

[Anonymous]

Remember "for better or worse"?

Anyway, it might be stress or it might not be. We (including you) are all going to get more unattractive as we age. Get used to it.

But sorry, no specific ideas to help you. Maybe put the lighting low?

[Anonymous]

It is very very hard to be a woman. Op's post is why women should let men open doors and buy big diamonds . . .

[Anonymous]

I think the stress of having children on ones body is overlooked all too often. There seems to be a time period when that kinda weighs the woman down. Between 45 - 55 a lot of the times the man looks a little better but then it all evens out.

[Anonymous]

I should have put in there that I know I've gotten fat and old too, but it seems to bother DW less that I'm going downhill.

How do married couples continue to be sexually interested in each other for decades? It baffles me. Is there a secret?

Thanks for the practical tips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I should have put in there that I know I've gotten fat and old too, but it seems to bother DW less that I'm going downhill.

How do married couples continue to be sexually interested in each other for decades? It baffles me. Is there a secret?

Thanks for the practical tips.

You have to be interested in each other because nobody else finds either of you attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I should have put in there that I know I've gotten fat and old too, but it seems to bother DW less that I'm going downhill.

How do married couples continue to be sexually interested in each other for decades? It baffles me. Is there a secret?

Thanks for the practical tips.

So you think. She's thinking of someone else.

[Anonymous]

Lights out and sheets over her body. It's all the same after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I should have put in there that I know I've gotten fat and old too, but it seems to bother DW less that I'm going downhill.

How do married couples continue to be sexually interested in each other for decades? It baffles me. Is there a secret?

Thanks for the practical tips.

So you think. She's thinking of someone else.

That's ok. Whatever works to keep the sex going.

[Anonymous]

Start sprucing yourself up a bit more OP, she may follow suit a bit. Other than that I'm not sure what you can practically do.

[Anonymous]

Not to be funny, but why are you blaming your low libido/attractive quotient on her looks? Maybe you're losing some of your get up and go and it has less to do with her than you think. It happens as you lose testosterone (esp if you've also gained weight). I wouldn't automatically blame that on her.

She doesn't care as much because a) women generally do and b) hormonally and stress-wise she just doesn't need it as much anyway most likely.

[Anonymous]

PP again - I guess I'm saying, why are you worried about it? Are you trying to live up to the idea of what you 'should' feel and do rather than what you 'do' feel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is very very hard to be a woman. Op's post is why women should let men open doors and buy big diamonds . . .

Eh?

[Anonymous]

This will upset alot of people on here, but my DH got fat and sloppy. Luckily I'm not married to a woman so I was able to tell him that he was a fat ass and that I can't have sex with a dough boy. He lost 80lbs and lifts. He looks spectacular and our sex life is at 3-4 days a week. He feels better about himself too and believe it or not, his new confidence shines through and i think it has positively impacted his career. However, unlike you I take care of myself so I don't think it unreasonable that I expect my spouse to have some pride in their physical appearance.