DW no longer looks attractive to me, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

What makes you think your marriage is any different from anyone else's, OP?

You suck it up. That's what you do.

[Anonymous]

OP, don't tell her that she is getting fat or that you are not attracted to her. This would be devastating to her. The catty comments from the women here should be an indication of how touchy this is.

I would just quietly set an example by only eating healthy around her and exercising and talking about how you're getting into shape. This might inspire her. You rarely see a super fit man with an obese woman unless she is pregnant.

If that doesn't work, you might try to make her a little jealous by flirting a bit and placing yourself in situations where she can observe that other women find you attractive. Women tend to find men more attractive when they know that their man could easily get other women.

That might manipulative, but telling her that she's so fat that it's a turnoff would be a disaster for your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Suck it up buttercup. Fantasize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pitch in around the house more and with the kids so your wife is less stressed. Make time for your wife to exercise or have some me time. She would probably love to lose weight but doesn't have the time to do it.

Please.

I work FT and have a husband who travels frequently for work. I've lost 30 lbs 5 years ago, work out 5 mornings a week, and eat healthy.

Eating healthy takes no extra time or energy.

Of course eating healthy takes extra time. Time to shop more carefully, read labels, plan menus, actually cook. Perhaps the person who watches your children five mornings a week while you work out also handles all those tasks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DW is great, I love her, and there aren't any deeper issues. She just has gained weight and is starting to look older. I think a large part of the changes are due to the stress of having kids. I feel like a jerk for not being attracted to her any more. I don't want to say anything to her.

Are there any tips for getting the lust back? We're still having sex about 2-3 times a month, so it's n not that bad, but I'm less interested than I would like to be.

Have an affair and don't get caught.

[Anonymous]

DW here, but in a similar situation. I'm certainly not what I was at 30, but I'm in decent shape, exercise, eat healthy. DH has gained weight and is totally sedentary. He eats relatively healthy, so he's not obese, but is so soft and has a belly and needs to lose probably 30 lbs. If he were trying, it would be easier to take, but I've tried offering him time to exercise and told him I'll do whatever he needs to support him. And I keep bringing it up, but even though I bring it up nicely the repeated mentions of it are taken as nagging (which they are, I guess). I don't have any great answers. I've tried a new tactic where I only initiate sex on the days he works out. (So, once this month.) No idea if that will work or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW is great, I love her, and there aren't any deeper issues. She just has gained weight and is starting to look older. I think a large part of the changes are due to the stress of having kids. I feel like a jerk for not being attracted to her any more. I don't want to say anything to her.

Are there any tips for getting the lust back? We're still having sex about 2-3 times a month, so it's n not that bad, but I'm less interested than I would like to be.

how about suggesting a new physical activity for you BOTH? Walking, hiking, tennis, golf whatever...it will bring you closer, make you both feel better about yourselves and in turn, each other.

This is a great idea. When I take a yoga class with my SO, I can hardly wait to get home and rip his clothes off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pitch in around the house more and with the kids so your wife is less stressed. Make time for your wife to exercise or have some me time. She would probably love to lose weight but doesn't have the time to do it.

Please.

I work FT and have a husband who travels frequently for work. I've lost 30 lbs 5 years ago, work out 5 mornings a week, and eat healthy.

Eating healthy takes no extra time or energy.

Of course eating healthy takes extra time. Time to shop more carefully, read labels, plan menus, actually cook. Perhaps the person who watches your children five mornings a week while you work out also handles all those tasks?

Where do you think I go to.work out? I'm not planning a wedding. I'm planning to eat. 15minuets extra.

Excuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pitch in around the house more and with the kids so your wife is less stressed. Make time for your wife to exercise or have some me time. She would probably love to lose weight but doesn't have the time to do it.

Please.

I work FT and have a husband who travels frequently for work. I've lost 30 lbs 5 years ago, work out 5 mornings a week, and eat healthy.

Eating healthy takes no extra time or energy.

Of course eating healthy takes extra time. Time to shop more carefully, read labels, plan menus, actually cook. Perhaps the person who watches your children five mornings a week while you work out also handles all those tasks?

Where do you think I go to.work out? I'm not planning a wedding. I'm planning to eat. 15minuets extra.

Excuses.

What do you do for your workout at home? My kids never leave me alone when I try to workout at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pitch in around the house more and with the kids so your wife is less stressed. Make time for your wife to exercise or have some me time. She would probably love to lose weight but doesn't have the time to do it.

Please.

I work FT and have a husband who travels frequently for work. I've lost 30 lbs 5 years ago, work out 5 mornings a week, and eat healthy.

Eating healthy takes no extra time or energy.

Of course eating healthy takes extra time. Time to shop more carefully, read labels, plan menus, actually cook. Perhaps the person who watches your children five mornings a week while you work out also handles all those tasks?

Where do you think I go to.work out? I'm not planning a wedding. I'm planning to eat. 15minuets extra.

Excuses.

You mentioned you had lost 30 pounds. How did you come to be 30 pounds overweight? Others may temporarily be in the same situation you were then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pitch in around the house more and with the kids so your wife is less stressed. Make time for your wife to exercise or have some me time. She would probably love to lose weight but doesn't have the time to do it.

Please.

I work FT and have a husband who travels frequently for work. I've lost 30 lbs 5 years ago, work out 5 mornings a week, and eat healthy.

Eating healthy takes no extra time or energy.

Of course eating healthy takes extra time. Time to shop more carefully, read labels, plan menus, actually cook. Perhaps the person who watches your children five mornings a week while you work out also handles all those tasks?

Where do you think I go to.work out? I'm not planning a wedding. I'm planning to eat. 15minuets extra.

Excuses.

What do you do for your workout at home? My kids never leave me alone when I try to workout at home.

I wake up at 5am...guzzle coffee and am working out by 530 and done by 630. I do a combo of a ton of stuff. I have gone through Insanity, p90x, Jillian Michaels, I do intervals on my treadmill, plates videos, and a ton of YouTube videos. I've invested in dumbbells from 5lbs up to 45lbs. I have a bosu ball and One of those big balls for a work. When my DH is in town I alternate gym days with him (he works out as well). On days I don't feel like waking early I do intervals at my work gym at lunch.

I do Have a basement and I do this in the rec room Surrounded by toys.

I'm normally asleep by 10pm. 7hrs is not ideal, but I can still function. That is why some days I just sleep in and go to the work gym. However my body now stubbornly wake up at 5am most mornings so I might as wel...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pitch in around the house more and with the kids so your wife is less stressed. Make time for your wife to exercise or have some me time. She would probably love to lose weight but doesn't have the time to do it.

Please.

I work FT and have a husband who travels frequently for work. I've lost 30 lbs 5 years ago, work out 5 mornings a week, and eat healthy.

Eating healthy takes no extra time or energy.

Of course eating healthy takes extra time. Time to shop more carefully, read labels, plan menus, actually cook. Perhaps the person who watches your children five mornings a week while you work out also handles all those tasks?

Where do you think I go to.work out? I'm not planning a wedding. I'm planning to eat. 15minuets extra.

Excuses.

You mentioned you had lost 30 pounds. How did you come to be 30 pounds overweight? Others may temporarily be in the same situation you were then.

Hypo thyroid. Exercise is great for that condition and my stubborn thyroid got better the healthier I became. Took a solid year to lose the weight.