Teacher dictating which parts of daughter's lunch she can eat in which order?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:44 year old Preschool teacher here: I also teach that we eat our protein and veg/fruit first because that is filling. The dessert/sweet treats are always saved for last. When we talk about nutrition, we discuss foods we want to eat more of vs foods we want to eat in moderation.

Using sweet foods as a reward is a terrible idea.

The teachers want the kids to eat the most filling items first because they know many of them won’t finish their lunch because of visiting and nonsense and the teacher would like kids who aren’t hungry later. They learn better and behave better when they aren’t hungry . If you have this much angst about teaching that dessert is last you are not gonna like some of the other stuff kids are taught in school. You gotta start letting go and choose your battles.

I would always choose the battle where my 4 y/o isn’t learning potentially damaging and nutritionally useless “rules” just because a teacher doesn’t want to manage her classroom at lunch. Six year olds in this country think they need to go on diets.

Oh boy are you in for a rough 12 years. I recommend you homeschool if you don’t want your kids learning or being exposed to any ideas that are even slightly different than yours. Also don’t worry, your child’s friends will help her learn how to have food and body issues oh and they will also learn weird stuff about sex.

Not at four she won’t, she’d only pick up on weird food neurosis from adults around her at this age.

Different people do different things. She may go to a friend's house where they eat nothing but junk or eat super healthy and allow no dessert. You cannot raise your child in a bubble where you are the only influence. If you want to ensure that the only messages your child receives are those with which you agree then any kind of group setting is a poor choice. When you join a group, you make all kinds of compromises. Trust me there is a 4 year old in the class who is already talking about being skinny that she got from her mom. These orthorexic moms are doing as much damage as the other side of the spectrum. To operate in the the world, the child needs to be exposed to and learn how to consider all kinds of information. The mom could say 'some people think you should eat dessert last, but we don't. Do what they say at school and at home we do what we do." It is one meal of the day. Wait until you find out that kids can't read at recess or play tag and first graders can't go on the gym equipment or they can't go outside if it is cold. We modify ourselves in groups to help the whole group get along. It is not all about you.

No it’s not, which is why working with the teacher/school to change it the policy to a healthier one will benefit all kids.

You DO realize that there is another parent who thinks that dessert should be banned. there is another parent who thinks kids are fine eating nothing but lunchables and a twix? That's why you leave it up to the teacher to manage his or her classroom in the best way for them. They aren't doing a unit on good and bad food, they are just trying to get everyone fed in the most expeditious way.

Yes I do. The parent who is against deserts does not have to provide any. Parent feeding their kid lunchanles has a right to and who am I to judge? (Daycare bans chocolate and nuts so Twix is not allowed - I have no trouble with school wide bans). But I have a right for my child to be allowed to eat whatever I give her (and is allowed at daycare) the order she wants.

If we are guests and they serve dessert last I will say different stokes for different folks.

That does not apply to unhealthy school policies which affect my child every day.

[Anonymous]

Teacher tried to do OP a favor; OP lost her mind because her kid cried at the new rules. I wish DCUM had a poll option so we could just vote team teacher or team OP and be done with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I haven't seen anybody else say lunch policing by teachers happens at their school. So this is a problem happening to the family of one person. Is that really worth 27 pages of criticizing teachers?

It’s not criticizing teachers if no other teachers are doing it. (At least one teacher on the thread does follow a dessert last model though.
It’s a debate in part about the importance of healthy feeding approaches versus just following rules no matter how misguided.
Plenty of people think parents should just suck it up and tell their dc to do what the teacher says.
Other parents don’t want teachers imparting unhealthy attitudes about food to their children.

Teachers are great and I am thankful for my child’s teachers every day. They don’t need the extra burden of policing kids food though and some parents don’t want them to so really not sure what the problem is - less work for teachers, happier parents, no unhealthy rules - win win win all around

Win win = don't send cookies, even "healthy" ones. There have been a lot of posts advocating the opposite. That's lose lose lose.

That’s not “win-win” it’s keeping a child from having part of her lunch for no reason other than to give the teacher the opportunity to make unhealthy rules that’s a lose for all the students and no one really benefits because this teacher will eventually have a student whose food she cannot police due to allergies or religious constrains. She has to either learn good boundaries around her students food now or then.

Sensible preschools (and elementary schools) prohibit candy and cookies/sweets. Saves so many headaches for everyone.

Omg. Do schools do that? So fcked up.

Anyway, irrelevant because OP’s “cookies” aren’t candy/sweets.

But they look like sweets and therefore also would be banned in a ban situation. Otherwise the onus is on the teachers to figure out if it’s a real cookie or not to determine if a rule is being broken.

[Anonymous]

Bump cause we going to 50 mang

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:44 year old Preschool teacher here: I also teach that we eat our protein and veg/fruit first because that is filling. The dessert/sweet treats are always saved for last. When we talk about nutrition, we discuss foods we want to eat more of vs foods we want to eat in moderation.

Using sweet foods as a reward is a terrible idea.

The teachers want the kids to eat the most filling items first because they know many of them won’t finish their lunch because of visiting and nonsense and the teacher would like kids who aren’t hungry later. They learn better and behave better when they aren’t hungry . If you have this much angst about teaching that dessert is last you are not gonna like some of the other stuff kids are taught in school. You gotta start letting go and choose your battles.

I would always choose the battle where my 4 y/o isn’t learning potentially damaging and nutritionally useless “rules” just because a teacher doesn’t want to manage her classroom at lunch. Six year olds in this country think they need to go on diets.

Oh boy are you in for a rough 12 years. I recommend you homeschool if you don’t want your kids learning or being exposed to any ideas that are even slightly different than yours. Also don’t worry, your child’s friends will help her learn how to have food and body issues oh and they will also learn weird stuff about sex.

Not at four she won’t, she’d only pick up on weird food neurosis from adults around her at this age.

Different people do different things. She may go to a friend's house where they eat nothing but junk or eat super healthy and allow no dessert. You cannot raise your child in a bubble where you are the only influence. If you want to ensure that the only messages your child receives are those with which you agree then any kind of group setting is a poor choice. When you join a group, you make all kinds of compromises. Trust me there is a 4 year old in the class who is already talking about being skinny that she got from her mom. These orthorexic moms are doing as much damage as the other side of the spectrum. To operate in the the world, the child needs to be exposed to and learn how to consider all kinds of information. The mom could say 'some people think you should eat dessert last, but we don't. Do what they say at school and at home we do what we do." It is one meal of the day. Wait until you find out that kids can't read at recess or play tag and first graders can't go on the gym equipment or they can't go outside if it is cold. We modify ourselves in groups to help the whole group get along. It is not all about you.

No it’s not, which is why working with the teacher/school to change it the policy to a healthier one will benefit all kids.

You DO realize that there is another parent who thinks that dessert should be banned. there is another parent who thinks kids are fine eating nothing but lunchables and a twix? That's why you leave it up to the teacher to manage his or her classroom in the best way for them. They aren't doing a unit on good and bad food, they are just trying to get everyone fed in the most expeditious way.

Yes I do. The parent who is against deserts does not have to provide any. Parent feeding their kid lunchanles has a right to and who am I to judge? (Daycare bans chocolate and nuts so Twix is not allowed - I have no trouble with school wide bans). But I have a right for my child to be allowed to eat whatever I give her (and is allowed at daycare) the order she wants.

If we are guests and they serve dessert last I will say different stokes for different folks.

That does not apply to unhealthy school policies which affect my child every day.

You are literally insane. I wish your child luck. They are gonna need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:44 year old Preschool teacher here: I also teach that we eat our protein and veg/fruit first because that is filling. The dessert/sweet treats are always saved for last. When we talk about nutrition, we discuss foods we want to eat more of vs foods we want to eat in moderation.

Using sweet foods as a reward is a terrible idea.

The teachers want the kids to eat the most filling items first because they know many of them won’t finish their lunch because of visiting and nonsense and the teacher would like kids who aren’t hungry later. They learn better and behave better when they aren’t hungry . If you have this much angst about teaching that dessert is last you are not gonna like some of the other stuff kids are taught in school. You gotta start letting go and choose your battles.

I would always choose the battle where my 4 y/o isn’t learning potentially damaging and nutritionally useless “rules” just because a teacher doesn’t want to manage her classroom at lunch. Six year olds in this country think they need to go on diets.

Oh boy are you in for a rough 12 years. I recommend you homeschool if you don’t want your kids learning or being exposed to any ideas that are even slightly different than yours. Also don’t worry, your child’s friends will help her learn how to have food and body issues oh and they will also learn weird stuff about sex.

Not at four she won’t, she’d only pick up on weird food neurosis from adults around her at this age.

Different people do different things. She may go to a friend's house where they eat nothing but junk or eat super healthy and allow no dessert. You cannot raise your child in a bubble where you are the only influence. If you want to ensure that the only messages your child receives are those with which you agree then any kind of group setting is a poor choice. When you join a group, you make all kinds of compromises. Trust me there is a 4 year old in the class who is already talking about being skinny that she got from her mom. These orthorexic moms are doing as much damage as the other side of the spectrum. To operate in the the world, the child needs to be exposed to and learn how to consider all kinds of information. The mom could say 'some people think you should eat dessert last, but we don't. Do what they say at school and at home we do what we do." It is one meal of the day. Wait until you find out that kids can't read at recess or play tag and first graders can't go on the gym equipment or they can't go outside if it is cold. We modify ourselves in groups to help the whole group get along. It is not all about you.

No it’s not, which is why working with the teacher/school to change it the policy to a healthier one will benefit all kids.

You DO realize that there is another parent who thinks that dessert should be banned. there is another parent who thinks kids are fine eating nothing but lunchables and a twix? That's why you leave it up to the teacher to manage his or her classroom in the best way for them. They aren't doing a unit on good and bad food, they are just trying to get everyone fed in the most expeditious way.

Yes I do. The parent who is against deserts does not have to provide any. Parent feeding their kid lunchanles has a right to and who am I to judge? (Daycare bans chocolate and nuts so Twix is not allowed - I have no trouble with school wide bans). But I have a right for my child to be allowed to eat whatever I give her (and is allowed at daycare) the order she wants.

If we are guests and they serve dessert last I will say different stokes for different folks.

That does not apply to unhealthy school policies which affect my child every day.

You are literally insane. I wish your child luck. They are gonna need it.

Diff PP you only feel that way because her feelings go against your own food issues. If the teacher was like everybody eat dessert first or we dont eat 2 servings of dairy for lunch unless we finish our veggies because you need fiber more than cheese and yogurt (CONSTIPATION ALERT) or whatever other weird rules, you might have a problem. What if she said no pasta because simple carbs are bad.

No one should be managing a childs intake but medical professionals (include dieticians/nutritionists) and their parents. Not grandma. Not pre-k teacher.

[Anonymous]

I assume a pre-school teacher monitors and supervises lunch because kids that age need to learn how lunch works at school. If anybody doesn't like that then just homeschool yourself, or let your nanny run your 1 on 1 preschool class. Then you can run everything by your rules and fire the nanny if she doesn't let the kid eat the banana oatmeal bake pattie first if she wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:44 year old Preschool teacher here: I also teach that we eat our protein and veg/fruit first because that is filling. The dessert/sweet treats are always saved for last. When we talk about nutrition, we discuss foods we want to eat more of vs foods we want to eat in moderation.

Using sweet foods as a reward is a terrible idea.

The teachers want the kids to eat the most filling items first because they know many of them won’t finish their lunch because of visiting and nonsense and the teacher would like kids who aren’t hungry later. They learn better and behave better when they aren’t hungry . If you have this much angst about teaching that dessert is last you are not gonna like some of the other stuff kids are taught in school. You gotta start letting go and choose your battles.

I would always choose the battle where my 4 y/o isn’t learning potentially damaging and nutritionally useless “rules” just because a teacher doesn’t want to manage her classroom at lunch. Six year olds in this country think they need to go on diets.

Oh boy are you in for a rough 12 years. I recommend you homeschool if you don’t want your kids learning or being exposed to any ideas that are even slightly different than yours. Also don’t worry, your child’s friends will help her learn how to have food and body issues oh and they will also learn weird stuff about sex.

Not at four she won’t, she’d only pick up on weird food neurosis from adults around her at this age.

Different people do different things. She may go to a friend's house where they eat nothing but junk or eat super healthy and allow no dessert. You cannot raise your child in a bubble where you are the only influence. If you want to ensure that the only messages your child receives are those with which you agree then any kind of group setting is a poor choice. When you join a group, you make all kinds of compromises. Trust me there is a 4 year old in the class who is already talking about being skinny that she got from her mom. These orthorexic moms are doing as much damage as the other side of the spectrum. To operate in the the world, the child needs to be exposed to and learn how to consider all kinds of information. The mom could say 'some people think you should eat dessert last, but we don't. Do what they say at school and at home we do what we do." It is one meal of the day. Wait until you find out that kids can't read at recess or play tag and first graders can't go on the gym equipment or they can't go outside if it is cold. We modify ourselves in groups to help the whole group get along. It is not all about you.

No it’s not, which is why working with the teacher/school to change it the policy to a healthier one will benefit all kids.

You DO realize that there is another parent who thinks that dessert should be banned. there is another parent who thinks kids are fine eating nothing but lunchables and a twix? That's why you leave it up to the teacher to manage his or her classroom in the best way for them. They aren't doing a unit on good and bad food, they are just trying to get everyone fed in the most expeditious way.

Yes I do. The parent who is against deserts does not have to provide any. Parent feeding their kid lunchanles has a right to and who am I to judge? (Daycare bans chocolate and nuts so Twix is not allowed - I have no trouble with school wide bans). But I have a right for my child to be allowed to eat whatever I give her (and is allowed at daycare) the order she wants.

If we are guests and they serve dessert last I will say different stokes for different folks.

That does not apply to unhealthy school policies which affect my child every day.

You are literally insane. I wish your child luck. They are gonna need it.

Diff PP you only feel that way because her feelings go against your own food issues. If the teacher was like everybody eat dessert first or we dont eat 2 servings of dairy for lunch unless we finish our veggies because you need fiber more than cheese and yogurt (CONSTIPATION ALERT) or whatever other weird rules, you might have a problem. What if she said no pasta because simple carbs are bad.

No one should be managing a childs intake but medical professionals (include dieticians/nutritionists) and their parents. Not grandma. Not pre-k teacher.

Dp. Wrong. I think teacher was incorrect, and would talk to my child about how people do things different ways. But ultimately, it wouldn't hurt my child. My child's biggest influence is me.

Op's kid has to learn at some point that most people do dessert last. I guess she can wait until she's older, but it'll happen. She's not going to go to a conference and chow down on cheesecake in front of her colleagues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teacher tried to do OP a favor; OP lost her mind because her kid cried at the new rules. I wish DCUM had a poll option so we could just vote team teacher or team OP and be done with it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teacher tried to do OP a favor; OP lost her mind because her kid cried at the new rules. I wish DCUM had a poll option so we could just vote team teacher or team OP and be done with it.

Tried to do OP a favor?

Lololol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume a pre-school teacher monitors and supervises lunch because kids that age need to learn how lunch works at school. If anybody doesn't like that then just homeschool yourself, or let your nanny run your 1 on 1 preschool class. Then you can run everything by your rules and fire the nanny if she doesn't let the kid eat the banana oatmeal bake pattie first if she wants.

What a ridiculous idea— preschool around here is overwhelmingly private. Parents have every right to have input into their kids diet. It’s not a Soviet preschool comrade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would send only cookies the next day.

Childish. Maybe OP should be the one going to preschool, if she wants to act like a 3 year old...

Better yet. Send in actual cookies - a whole package of Oreos.

Or send in only a sandwich (chocolate marshmallow, of course) and a fruit (one of those 100% fruit strips that are all sugar) and maybe sliced apples with caramel dip and then the teacher can reassess her idea of what constitutes a healthy lunch. Also your kid will be in heaven that day

Haha. Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bump cause we going to 50 mang

well the topic was worthy of a WP article way back when

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/wellness/1993/09/21/why-not-dessert-first-when-parents-treat-sweets-like-a-reward-children-get-the-wrong-message/0648ab13-e8d9-461b-b0d5-e68795b02ec7/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:44 year old Preschool teacher here: I also teach that we eat our protein and veg/fruit first because that is filling. The dessert/sweet treats are always saved for last. When we talk about nutrition, we discuss foods we want to eat more of vs foods we want to eat in moderation.

Using sweet foods as a reward is a terrible idea.

The teachers want the kids to eat the most filling items first because they know many of them won’t finish their lunch because of visiting and nonsense and the teacher would like kids who aren’t hungry later. They learn better and behave better when they aren’t hungry . If you have this much angst about teaching that dessert is last you are not gonna like some of the other stuff kids are taught in school. You gotta start letting go and choose your battles.

I would always choose the battle where my 4 y/o isn’t learning potentially damaging and nutritionally useless “rules” just because a teacher doesn’t want to manage her classroom at lunch. Six year olds in this country think they need to go on diets.

Oh boy are you in for a rough 12 years. I recommend you homeschool if you don’t want your kids learning or being exposed to any ideas that are even slightly different than yours. Also don’t worry, your child’s friends will help her learn how to have food and body issues oh and they will also learn weird stuff about sex.

Not at four she won’t, she’d only pick up on weird food neurosis from adults around her at this age.

Different people do different things. She may go to a friend's house where they eat nothing but junk or eat super healthy and allow no dessert. You cannot raise your child in a bubble where you are the only influence. If you want to ensure that the only messages your child receives are those with which you agree then any kind of group setting is a poor choice. When you join a group, you make all kinds of compromises. Trust me there is a 4 year old in the class who is already talking about being skinny that she got from her mom. These orthorexic moms are doing as much damage as the other side of the spectrum. To operate in the the world, the child needs to be exposed to and learn how to consider all kinds of information. The mom could say 'some people think you should eat dessert last, but we don't. Do what they say at school and at home we do what we do." It is one meal of the day. Wait until you find out that kids can't read at recess or play tag and first graders can't go on the gym equipment or they can't go outside if it is cold. We modify ourselves in groups to help the whole group get along. It is not all about you.

No it’s not, which is why working with the teacher/school to change it the policy to a healthier one will benefit all kids.

You DO realize that there is another parent who thinks that dessert should be banned. there is another parent who thinks kids are fine eating nothing but lunchables and a twix? That's why you leave it up to the teacher to manage his or her classroom in the best way for them. They aren't doing a unit on good and bad food, they are just trying to get everyone fed in the most expeditious way.

Yes I do. The parent who is against deserts does not have to provide any. Parent feeding their kid lunchanles has a right to and who am I to judge? (Daycare bans chocolate and nuts so Twix is not allowed - I have no trouble with school wide bans). But I have a right for my child to be allowed to eat whatever I give her (and is allowed at daycare) the order she wants.

If we are guests and they serve dessert last I will say different stokes for different folks.

That does not apply to unhealthy school policies which affect my child every day.

You are literally insane. I wish your child luck. They are gonna need it.

Diff PP you only feel that way because her feelings go against your own food issues. If the teacher was like everybody eat dessert first or we dont eat 2 servings of dairy for lunch unless we finish our veggies because you need fiber more than cheese and yogurt (CONSTIPATION ALERT) or whatever other weird rules, you might have a problem. What if she said no pasta because simple carbs are bad.

No one should be managing a childs intake but medical professionals (include dieticians/nutritionists) and their parents. Not grandma. Not pre-k teacher.

My only food issues are that I don’t make an issue of food. This situation is so minute - she is making a mountain out of a mole hill and her child and the poor teachers will suffer for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bump cause we going to 50 mang

well the topic was worthy of a WP article way back when

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/wellness/1993/09/21/why-not-dessert-first-when-parents-treat-sweets-like-a-reward-children-get-the-wrong-message/0648ab13-e8d9-461b-b0d5-e68795b02ec7/

That's not the same at all. The question isn't whether OP should be serving dessert with lunch. It's whether preschool teacher's lunchtime micromanagement should be micromanaged by OP.