What to do about a spouse who sees nothing wrong with cheating:

[Anonymous]

OP must not be in the DC area. Here, kids have to be 5 by the start of school, which OP's child won't be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ma’am what are you talking about please

+1. What in the world?

[Anonymous]

My five year old will soon enter K and she will turn six in mid September. We decided to hold her back last year because we felt her emotional maturity needed more development. I have a good friend who is a K teacher and she agreed with me. I’m so glad we did given Covid because she would have been lost. Instead she was in a small pod school and it really helped her. Schools can assess a child’s readiness so,why not take that approach? It’s not cheating if you do what is right for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are DCUM anti-redshirt posters so weird? Between this OP, natural law lady, and carnival ride lady, it's quite the freak show.

I actually think that this OP is Natural Law Lady. I think there are two, Natural Law Lady and Pissed Private School Mom (the one who sent her not-summer birthday daughter to a private school and then was rrrrrrripppppped to find out that her daughter wasn’t as relatively old as she “should” be and thought the school should have somehow disclosed this to her).

Both are unhinged in slightly different ways, I think. They share the quality of regarding kindergarten as a cage match rather than a place to learn.

Wait, who’s natural law lady?? And carnival lady??

Carnival lady -- deeply, extremely upset because her kid in K who is in the 97th or so percentile for height wasn't tall enough to ride the rides at the (private) school carnival. Did not seem to have the ability to say no to her child. I still can't figure out how exactly this was the fault of redshirting, but carnival lady was adamant that it was. Doesn't seem to understand the basics of private school admissions.

Natural law lady -- believes redshirting is against "natural law," where that means the calendar year. So, includes fall birthday kids who are behind the cutoff as "redshirted." Talks a lot about natural law, much of it incomprehensible. It is possible OP is natural law lady.

Of course, this doesn't even get into the garden variety (but also nuts) DCUM anti-redshirt posters who brag about how their kids bully older kids or how they memorize class birthday lists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your husband didn't listen to you because you have funny notions on what constitutes 'cheating'.

So you don't anything wrong with rewarding a 6-year-old for proving that they're smarter than most 5-year-olds?

Reality is the 6 year old isn't smarter, only older.

That's the point I'm trying to make. I guess the more appropriate way to word it would be "It's wrong to reward a 6-year-old for outperforming a bunch of 5-year-olds". Our son was born in 2016, and my husband wants him to be rewarded for outperforming kids born in 2017.

New poster.

OP, your second paragraph in the original post is so far outside reality -- I am not bashing you by saying that, I'm actuallly trying to get to you do some research.

Do you really think it would be right to hold back your child from doing anything remotely competitive for his ENTIRE school career because he was redshirted for kindergarten?

Are you exaggerating in your post and with your DH, to make a point? For your child's sake, I certainly hope that's the case.

I can't truly credit your post is meant seriously, regarding examples as ridiculous as turning down an earned valedictorian honor at age 18 just because your child was redshirted at age five.

Your original post claimed your son should never, ever run for class president, be valedictorian, or apply to "prestigious" colleges because he began kindergarten a year late. If you're remotely serious, please, for your child's sake, do even a tiny bit of reading about child development.

A one-year difference might seem vast and insurmountable to you when your son is six in K, but by the time he and ALL his classmates are another year or two down the road, one year of age difference will not matter. Absolutely it will not matter once kids are out of elementary school. If you are actually serious, you really do not understand child development or even the nature of "competitions" other than sports.

You also are making a gigantic assumption, though you don't seem to see it, that your son will automatically be better/smarter/faster/stronger/the winner, versus kids a year younger, throughout all 12 years of school. You do realize that there will be kids a year younger than he is who are the ones who will surpass him in academics or sports or elections or whatever--right?

I'm just hoping this is all being exaggerated for effect and is some kind of anti-redshirting tale and not a real proposal for parenting a real child.

And I say that as an anti-redshirt parent myself. My DC is much older than yours--in college now. Age differences of a year just cease to matter except in a few cases, intellectually. Physically, redshirting so a kid will be bigger and more physically mature for sports later on is sick. But you seem to be focused on your son's being class president and valedictorian etc. Again -- IF this is for real.

Maybe you can tell us why your anti-redshirt compatriots on DCUM are so crazy. I seriously wouldn't want to be associated with that group of nutters. Reading DCUM has made me pro-redshirting, because the anti-redshirters are so genuinely awful here. You seem less crazy than the others, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you are nuts. Starting K at age 6 is not cheating. omg. I'm on team DH. I feel sorry for kids who started K last year virtually.

And starting school 1 year late won't turn an average student into a gifted STEM geek or travel soccer star. It just doesn't work that way.

Signed,

Mom who started kid in K just before turning 6.

And sounds like OP’s kid won’t even BE 6 when he starts kindergarten if he has an October birthday (he’ll be 5 and turning 6 1-2 months after school starts). Most districts have an age cut off in august-September so he wouldn’t even be able to start K until he was almost 6 most places. Even if OP’s district has a December age cut off I’m sure lots of parents keep their fall birthday kids back so they’ll be 5 going on 6 starting k rather than 4 going on 5

You're right. I feel dumb for bothering to type all that now

[Anonymous]

Why would you want your kid to start K at 4? That makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Hopefully OP continues to act crazy so when her husband divorces her, he has lots and lots of evidence of why OP should not have custody. Can you imagine limiting your kid that much bevause you're convinced that a couple of months will make him so much more advanced? It's bordering on abuse