My wife talks bad about me to her friends but treats me normal…

[Anonymous]

I used to make sarcastic comments “jokingly” to my friends about my DH and the things that upset me about him and our marriage”. Pretty surface stuff like the division of labor and parenting.

It was because of a significant amount of resentment that I had no healthy outlet for.

It’s not very hard for that resentment to turn into contempt which is hard to get rid of in a marriage, so I recommend you talk to your spouse to take the temp on your relationship and see if there’s anything she wants to talk about. Then instead of reacting and getting ready to respond, just listen. Go from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends and I do not spouse bash.

My husband and I made a point to never talk ill of one another to others.

I can’t stand hearing spouses go on and on about how awful their husband/wife is. It’s uncomfortable and none of my good friends do that.

This seems kind of unhealthy. I like that my husband has someone to vent to other than me. I don’t need to hear about every petty complaint, and as often as not, his friends set him straight. It’s nice to have an objective outside view sometimes.
I do agree that you should never badmouth your spouse to family. Your mom will automatically take your side and remember it forever.

[Anonymous]

And controlling. Wonder whose idea it was…