Tutoring at Private Schools

[Anonymous]

You fail to take into account a lot of stuff, such as when the kid really desires to go further in something, such as math, and parents can't do it.

[Anonymous]

A lot of these posts presuming the parents' ability to tutor their children are obviously by parents of younger children. They haven't yet been challenged by tutoring a middle-schooler or high-schooler, where (1) the academic work is a lot harder and often involves new methods and subjects not taught when the parents were in school and (2) adolescents can be very resistant to being taught by their own parents! I have a college degree and a law degree, and I would have to sit an read the entire lesson if I were to tutor my son in science. We haven't had to hire any tutors yet, for my sons gets straight A's, but I wouldn't hesistate to hire one is we needed one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these posts presuming the parents' ability to tutor their children are obviously by parents of younger children. They haven't yet been challenged by tutoring a middle-schooler or high-schooler, where (1) the academic work is a lot harder and often involves new methods and subjects not taught when the parents were in school and (2) adolescents can be very resistant to being taught by their own parents! I have a college degree and a law degree, and I would have to sit an read the entire lesson if I were to tutor my son in science. We haven't had to hire any tutors yet, for my sons gets straight A's, but I wouldn't hesistate to hire one is we needed one.

Which is exactly why people pay tutors to help their children. Doctor's don't treat their families and parents who are teachers have a difficult time teaching their own kids. It's a genetic thing! Seems like kids listen and respond better to educators who are not their parents.

People on this board, this is such an individual and private decision. Leave it up to the parents to decide when/if/where their kids need tutoring. You don't have to do what they do and vice versa. Educational research has shown that with the different learning styles becoming more and more in the picture of how kids learning, sometimes tutors are the answer. It's not the schools, or the parents, or curriculum, it's the INDIVIDUAL needs of the student that need to be addressed here. Do what you think is best.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]OP, welcome to one of private schools' dirty little secrets: they don't generally teach to the top or the bottom tiers very well. So the bottom needs tutors to "keep up," and the top needs tutors for "enrichment," or to "stay competitive" -- with whom, I'm not sure, public GT or magnets, probably. We have been dissatisfied with our private middle school for the latter reason and may supplement, and we resent having to do so given the tuition we've already paid. [/quote]


I'm finding that is true as well, if your child is 2 grades ahead, she or he is just left to his/her own devices in class. Some kids will get exasperated and impatient, others will quietly help others without being asked, but the real solution is that they be cohorted and challenged. Yes many gifted kids will just teach themselves or delve into subjects in more depth, but what a smack in the face of instilling a love of learning....if their natural ability isn't met with the appropriate level of stimulating challenge. How does this early formative experience in school of having to wait on the sidelines while the teacher "teaches to the middle " affect them socially and intellectually? A child can become all too accustomed to : "I don't have to work", hide their gifts to fit in or develop a superiority attitude which will affect him or her socially for the rest of their lives. All of this because as a 5 or 6 year old they are left to "read the writing on the wall" with no gentle support from a nurturing teacher that "get's them" and in a supposedly "Independent" School. Not independent enough from matriculation pressure, I guess.

[Anonymous]

My son has been at 2 different private schools - at both they have special teachers, etc. to help the kids who have learning issues and the kids who are ahead. My kid operates at grade level, but needs one on one teaching time. I've often felt jealous of the time the kids at the upper and lower ends of the curve get and wished my kid could have gotten some of that attention. We work with him ourselves a lot and pay tutors. Anyway. . . I guess we are all focused on what our kids need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There have been many articles written about the tutoring phenomenon. Most of it unneeded and a result of overactive parent concern. So many parents want their children to have an advantage over all the other children and if there is a really smart child in the class, I have personally seen so many parents try to compete with that.

Quite frankly, if your child is being constantly tutored, either the school is not doing enough or your child is at a school that is not a good match.

Completely agree with this.

Plus, I wonder what other things that kids might do with their time instead of the constant tutoring: sports, music, art, dance, or maybe even just some time to play and be a kid.

[Anonymous]

Agree that as kids get older the needs become more obvious, My DS is a good student but one subject just caused him a lot of anxiety, and my stepping didn't help, so he asked for the tutor. I was reluctant but it has been helpful.

I think the idea of outside tutoring for enrichment in reading for an elementary school student is nuts. If your child loves to read, that is exactly something they should be doing in an undirected manner. Young kids should be reading what they want to and taking from it what they choose, thats how they develop a love of reading.

On the other hand, many privates are bad at identifying kids who have minor LD issues and addressing them in a timely manner, so I think there is often a role for parents to step in.

[Anonymous]

Why are people so judgmental about what others are doing to tutor their kids or not. Mind your own business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are people so judgmental about what others are doing to tutor their kids or not. Mind your own business.

You're funny. Why? From breastfeeding to playground politics to school choices, parents debate, disagree, and agree. Why is tutoring sacred?

If you don't like the thread (or you don't want to know what other people think of your choices) then don't read read this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people so judgmental about what others are doing to tutor their kids or not. Mind your own business.

You're funny. Why? From breastfeeding to playground politics to school choices, parents debate, disagree, and agree. Why is tutoring sacred?

If you don't like the thread (or you don't want to know what other people think of your choices) then don't read read this.

I totally agree with your first point -- people are asking for feedback and opinions on all these topics, so they're going to get judgments. It's just part of the game.

But I think your second comment about "don't read this thread" is a bullshit cop-out response. In fact, it's essentially saying "mind your own business" right back to the PP you are responding to.