Tutoring at Private Schools

[Anonymous]

At my DCs' private schools more than 1/2 of the kids are tutored (parents tell us this) merely because the schools teach 1 - 2 years above grade level and their kids can't keep up. Parents report cost is ~$300/wk.

[Anonymous]

Is anyone else making the connection between the stories of kids who need tutoring just to keep up with the curriculum and parents who work every connection and do WPPSI prep to get their kids into those "top" schools in the first place?

[Anonymous]

There seems to be a split between those who think that "whatever John-boy does naturally is *good enough*," even if not very impressive, and those who are aggressive in their care that kids are pushed to achieve their best. Both positions can be mocked and treated with disdain. Both types are found at privates (translated into "I've already paid $30K+ so why should I pay more, it is the school's job, and why are those other ratty parents raising the bar" versus "these schools teach to the mediocre middle and I'm not going to stand for it, so I lobby the school and, in addition, take matters into my own hands"). It is an old debate, for this forum.

Interesting that nobody is (yet on this thread) knocking SAT test prep. The stakes are maybe too high. Since these scores are the most important part of the college application package, people are too afriad to forego tutoring ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
At my DCs' private schools more than 1/2 of the kids are tutored (parents tell us this) merely because the schools teach 1 - 2 years above grade level and their kids can't keep up. Parents report cost is ~$300/wk.

Most kids I know (of) who are getting tutoring do it to keep moving ahead, i.e., are already working above grade level, and school isn't going fast enough, at least according to their parents. Cost is aboujt $100/hour.

[Anonymous]

Big 3; no tutoring in our household. Have heard of it for LD, acceleration (math), and competitiveness (parents want kids to get better grades than they are getting). Seems like the first recourse for a kid who is falling behind is typically working with the teachers or learning specialists at school which often seems sufficient. If the kid needs (or the parents want) more, then you see tutors in that context as well.

[Anonymous]

As a tutor to students who attend several different private schools, I can attest that there are various reasons parents seek out tutoring. It can be remedial, enrichment, or to assure that the child doesn't "get behind." Some students work better one-on-one with a private tutor and are able to accomplish more than they are with their parents. Other students require help with their homework two or three times a week for extended periods of time (1.5 hour sessions) that they would not be able to get at any school, public or private. Many students at the middle school level need to work on improving their writing skills to keep up with the demands of the curriculum and prefer not to stay after school to work with their teachers. All of the students I work with demonstrate progress and proficiency in the areas we focus. Many of the parents and students are too embarrassed to let anyone know about the tutoring, although I have personally found that teachers who know students are working with tutors outside of the classroom are very supportive. How much a parent pays for schooling is not truly related to whether or not they also employ private tutoring for their children. Needs vary for each family and student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like most parenting issue, trust yourself to decide what's best.

No independent school will suggest that you get a tutor for your DC unless he/she is way behind or has a special need. For students doing just fine, most will probably slightly discourage it in the elementary grades because they don't want kids to burn out on learning. But every child and family is different and its up to us to decide what's best for them.

In our case, my 4th grader loves reading/writing. For a couple years, we've spent a $2-3K/year indulging her desire for riding lessons. When she expressed a desire to pursue an interest in literature last year, we got her a tutor. Yes, it's just reading and writing, but the tutor we found is a great teacher and DC is excited by the extra work. It would never make sense for any school to dive as deeply in to the subject or assign as much extra work as they are doing. Supporting an intellectual interest seems like a no-brainer when we wouldn't think twice about letting her be on a traveling soccer team or enter riding competitions that involve substantial time and money. As long as she shows a passion and a desire to work hard at something, we're going to find a way to help her. That's our job as parents.

"That's our job as parents". You might want to take your own advice and instead of hiring someone for your daughter to discuss and debate literature in depth, you actually, you know read the book , and then discuss it with her. Could you be any more lazy???

haha. I LOVE YOU. Thank you for pointing out the obvious.

[Anonymous]

"That's our job as parents". You might want to take your own advice and instead of hiring someone for your daughter to discuss and debate literature in depth, you actually, you know read the book , and then discuss it with her. Could you be any more lazy???

haha. I LOVE YOU. Thank you for pointing out the obvious.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If it were only that simple, we wouldn't need teachers.

[Anonymous]

Before you pay to hire tutors (particularly if it is a stretch for your budget), investigate what tutoring/extra help is available at the school itself. Often parents will pay for tutoring when there are significant resources offered by the school (e.g., an after school math or language lab, etc).

[Anonymous]

Are there any parents who would like to get a tutor, but just feel they can't afford it? That's my situation.

[Anonymous]

It's a difficult place to be in this regard, PP. Lots of kids have lots of extra coaching.

[Anonymous]

I have to wonder if all these kids who need tutoring to keep up with their peers are going to fall apart when they hit the real world and have to get a job.

[Anonymous]

Or maybe someone will teach them how to write well when they are kids and their work lives will be much less stressful.

[Anonymous]

If you read the thread, carefully and openly about the various reasons for using tutors, then your question is off base for a lot of cases of tutoring. For some children, who have remedial tutoring, yes they may become dependent, but I doubt the tutoring itself would cause that; rather, insecurities might be the cause. The idea of a tutor for remedial purposes is not to be a crutch but to help one stand on his or her own feet - just as if a child had individual help in school.

[Anonymous]

The prior was to 19:17 -