Do you talk to parents of the opposite sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes of course and if I become friendly with the dad I always make an effort to become friendly with the wife too. The dad so talk to the most I actually started out wanting to friends with the wife first but she was kind of aloof and he was more approachable and now he and I are friends. We have gone through periods of texting all day but it’s mostly bc we both have anxiety and I would feel comfortable with her reading everything that is written and often send my greeting a to her through him, happy bday etc, but she still does not reciprocate which bums me out a little.

I probably would reciprocate with a woman who thought it was appropriate to text my husband all day and discuss the details of his anxiety either.

Lol we don’t discuss his anxiety! He just does it because he is anxious. It could not be more harmless. We don’t even live in the same state!

It doesn't matter where you live or even if the conversation is "harmless". It's still not appropriate to be texting someone's spouse that way.

Every once in a while I get a taste of who is really on here and it makes me realize why it is such a waste of time. Guess what? Totally platonic friend and I know better than you, stranger, what is harmless or appropriate and you don't know squat. I could not care less about him romantically and I am certain he feels the same. It's sad you're threatened by the very idea of people acting as autonomous individuals once married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes of course and if I become friendly with the dad I always make an effort to become friendly with the wife too. The dad so talk to the most I actually started out wanting to friends with the wife first but she was kind of aloof and he was more approachable and now he and I are friends. We have gone through periods of texting all day but it’s mostly bc we both have anxiety and I would feel comfortable with her reading everything that is written and often send my greeting a to her through him, happy bday etc, but she still does not reciprocate which bums me out a little.

I probably would reciprocate with a woman who thought it was appropriate to text my husband all day and discuss the details of his anxiety either.

Lol we don’t discuss his anxiety! He just does it because he is anxious. It could not be more harmless. We don’t even live in the same state!

It doesn't matter where you live or even if the conversation is "harmless". It's still not appropriate to be texting someone's spouse that way.

Every once in a while I get a taste of who is really on here and it makes me realize why it is such a waste of time. Guess what? Totally platonic friend and I know better than you, stranger, what is harmless or appropriate and you don't know squat. I could not care less about him romantically and I am certain he feels the same. It's sad you're threatened by the very idea of people acting as autonomous individuals once married.

Not threatned I just know BS when I see it. No good reason to be texting a married man all day long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes of course and if I become friendly with the dad I always make an effort to become friendly with the wife too. The dad so talk to the most I actually started out wanting to friends with the wife first but she was kind of aloof and he was more approachable and now he and I are friends. We have gone through periods of texting all day but it’s mostly bc we both have anxiety and I would feel comfortable with her reading everything that is written and often send my greeting a to her through him, happy bday etc, but she still does not reciprocate which bums me out a little.

I probably would reciprocate with a woman who thought it was appropriate to text my husband all day and discuss the details of his anxiety either.

Lol we don’t discuss his anxiety! He just does it because he is anxious. It could not be more harmless. We don’t even live in the same state!

It doesn't matter where you live or even if the conversation is "harmless". It's still not appropriate to be texting someone's spouse that way.

Every once in a while I get a taste of who is really on here and it makes me realize why it is such a waste of time. Guess what? Totally platonic friend and I know better than you, stranger, what is harmless or appropriate and you don't know squat. I could not care less about him romantically and I am certain he feels the same. It's sad you're threatened by the very idea of people acting as autonomous individuals once married.

Not threatned I just know BS when I see it. No good reason to be texting a married man all day long.

It's just hilarious how you think you know anything at all relevant and are so controlling and judgmental about people you don't even know. BS...covering what? My secret passionate longing for this person I am not even remotely interested in and have never once thought about that way and still can't? You have issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes of course and if I become friendly with the dad I always make an effort to become friendly with the wife too. The dad so talk to the most I actually started out wanting to friends with the wife first but she was kind of aloof and he was more approachable and now he and I are friends. We have gone through periods of texting all day but it’s mostly bc we both have anxiety and I would feel comfortable with her reading everything that is written and often send my greeting a to her through him, happy bday etc, but she still does not reciprocate which bums me out a little.

I probably would reciprocate with a woman who thought it was appropriate to text my husband all day and discuss the details of his anxiety either.

Lol we don’t discuss his anxiety! He just does it because he is anxious. It could not be more harmless. We don’t even live in the same state!

It doesn't matter where you live or even if the conversation is "harmless". It's still not appropriate to be texting someone's spouse that way.

Every once in a while I get a taste of who is really on here and it makes me realize why it is such a waste of time. Guess what? Totally platonic friend and I know better than you, stranger, what is harmless or appropriate and you don't know squat. I could not care less about him romantically and I am certain he feels the same. It's sad you're threatened by the very idea of people acting as autonomous individuals once married.

Not threatned I just know BS when I see it. No good reason to be texting a married man all day long.

It's just hilarious how you think you know anything at all relevant and are so controlling and judgmental about people you don't even know. BS...covering what? My secret passionate longing for this person I am not even remotely interested in and have never once thought about that way and still can't? You have issues.

giving my opinion is not being controlled. Your angry outburst here over someone disagreeing with your choice to text a married man all day is interesting. If it really isn't a problem and yoou truly believe it is in no way inappropriate, my opinion should mean shit to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uhhh... I'm having a hard time believing that this really happened. Of course I talk to other parents, male or female. Same with my husband. But we're adults and I trust him not to pick up women at the playground and he extends that same trust to me... lol.

OP here. I live in a very….dramatic….community. Mostly people from another culture where jealousy and control are the norm. Once I dated a hot guy (I’m divorced) and my friends’ husbands banned me from bringing him to get-togethers in case their wives, I dunno, hooked up with him in the bathroom.

So I’m not totally surprised, but just wanted a reality check that this isn’t normal. I don’t want to cause trouble for anyone but I also don’t want to be treated like I’m some temptress looking to steal husbands (that I don’t even want, ha).

NP here. I think it’s odd that the daughter was the enforcer. That said, I tend to err on the side of being conservative about these things and I won’t just go up to a dad and strike up a full on one on one conversation with just us. If it’s a larger group of people no issue if they get pulled into the conversation. If it’s a one off, like you see their kid do something cute or conversely if the kid fell, I might might make a quick comment. But I honestly don’t want to open up the potential for there to be a misunderstanding about flirting or interest with a parent of the opposite gender. I am also cautious in general about people that I don’t know and my kids don’t know.

You are preserving an outdated and very damaging outlook on relations between men and women by doing that. The world is a better place when fathers look after their kids, go on paternity leave, talk to other parents about their children. They cannot do that if they are limited to a small pool of other fathers. It doesn't make the job of engaged father very appealing, does it, if the women shun you just because of your sex? If you don't engage with all parents regardless of sex, all you're doing is perpetuating gender stereotypes. And we all know what that does: continued gender imbalance in the home and in the workplace, and thus continued challenges for your daughters to grow into careers and challenges for your sons to grow into engaged fathers.

NP, but as a dad who has never cheated and never wants to be tempted to or to give my wife suspicions that I'm doing something dirty, there's an old saying that goes something like if you don't bring that around you, you've got nothing to worry about. I'm not in a position where I'm going to be completely rude or ignore another parent, but casual conversation can become a slippery slope into noticing her nice body to wondering if she was flirting, to her really flirting or whatever. If I need to talk to her about something (say we arrive at a swing at the same time so there's confusion about whose kid gets on), then we'll talk and work out our. But I'm not really interested in any rumors going around the neighborhood about how "friendly" I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes of course and if I become friendly with the dad I always make an effort to become friendly with the wife too. The dad so talk to the most I actually started out wanting to friends with the wife first but she was kind of aloof and he was more approachable and now he and I are friends. We have gone through periods of texting all day but it’s mostly bc we both have anxiety and I would feel comfortable with her reading everything that is written and often send my greeting a to her through him, happy bday etc, but she still does not reciprocate which bums me out a little.

I probably would reciprocate with a woman who thought it was appropriate to text my husband all day and discuss the details of his anxiety either.

Lol we don’t discuss his anxiety! He just does it because he is anxious. It could not be more harmless. We don’t even live in the same state!

It doesn't matter where you live or even if the conversation is "harmless". It's still not appropriate to be texting someone's spouse that way.

I have plenty of guy friends from pre marriage days. We text. We talk on the phone. We discuss relationships. It’s not a big deal.

Do you spend all day doing it? It's not a big deal for you because you are not his wife who needs him to be other things for his family instead of talking and texting you all day.


And it's really inappropriate for you to be discussing details of your relationships.

NP. Why is it inappropriate to discuss details of your relationship with a friend? Or is it only inappropriate - according to you - if the friend happens to be the opposite sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uhhh... I'm having a hard time believing that this really happened. Of course I talk to other parents, male or female. Same with my husband. But we're adults and I trust him not to pick up women at the playground and he extends that same trust to me... lol.

OP here. I live in a very….dramatic….community. Mostly people from another culture where jealousy and control are the norm. Once I dated a hot guy (I’m divorced) and my friends’ husbands banned me from bringing him to get-togethers in case their wives, I dunno, hooked up with him in the bathroom.

So I’m not totally surprised, but just wanted a reality check that this isn’t normal. I don’t want to cause trouble for anyone but I also don’t want to be treated like I’m some temptress looking to steal husbands (that I don’t even want, ha).

NP here. I think it’s odd that the daughter was the enforcer. That said, I tend to err on the side of being conservative about these things and I won’t just go up to a dad and strike up a full on one on one conversation with just us. If it’s a larger group of people no issue if they get pulled into the conversation. If it’s a one off, like you see their kid do something cute or conversely if the kid fell, I might might make a quick comment. But I honestly don’t want to open up the potential for there to be a misunderstanding about flirting or interest with a parent of the opposite gender. I am also cautious in general about people that I don’t know and my kids don’t know.

You are preserving an outdated and very damaging outlook on relations between men and women by doing that. The world is a better place when fathers look after their kids, go on paternity leave, talk to other parents about their children. They cannot do that if they are limited to a small pool of other fathers. It doesn't make the job of engaged father very appealing, does it, if the women shun you just because of your sex? If you don't engage with all parents regardless of sex, all you're doing is perpetuating gender stereotypes. And we all know what that does: continued gender imbalance in the home and in the workplace, and thus continued challenges for your daughters to grow into careers and challenges for your sons to grow into engaged fathers.

NP, but as a dad who has never cheated and never wants to be tempted to or to give my wife suspicions that I'm doing something dirty, there's an old saying that goes something like if you don't bring that around you, you've got nothing to worry about. I'm not in a position where I'm going to be completely rude or ignore another parent, but casual conversation can become a slippery slope into noticing her nice body to wondering if she was flirting, to her really flirting or whatever. If I need to talk to her about something (say we arrive at a swing at the same time so there's confusion about whose kid gets on), then we'll talk and work out our. But I'm not really interested in any rumors going around the neighborhood about how "friendly" I am.

So you can’t have a casual conversation with a woman without worrying about it turning into something else? I mean, that’s nuts. Don’t you ever have to have conversations with women at work?? How on earth do you manage that if a conversation at a playground is fraught with potential peril?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes of course and if I become friendly with the dad I always make an effort to become friendly with the wife too. The dad so talk to the most I actually started out wanting to friends with the wife first but she was kind of aloof and he was more approachable and now he and I are friends. We have gone through periods of texting all day but it’s mostly bc we both have anxiety and I would feel comfortable with her reading everything that is written and often send my greeting a to her through him, happy bday etc, but she still does not reciprocate which bums me out a little.

I probably would reciprocate with a woman who thought it was appropriate to text my husband all day and discuss the details of his anxiety either.

Lol we don’t discuss his anxiety! He just does it because he is anxious. It could not be more harmless. We don’t even live in the same state!

It doesn't matter where you live or even if the conversation is "harmless". It's still not appropriate to be texting someone's spouse that way.

I have plenty of guy friends from pre marriage days. We text. We talk on the phone. We discuss relationships. It’s not a big deal.

Do you spend all day doing it? It's not a big deal for you because you are not his wife who needs him to be other things for his family instead of talking and texting you all day.


And it's really inappropriate for you to be discussing details of your relationships.

NP. Why is it inappropriate to discuss details of your relationship with a friend? Or is it only inappropriate - according to you - if the friend happens to be the opposite sex?

I don't think it's really appropriate for any friendship of the same or opposite sex, but it can become extra slippery if it is an opposite-sex friendship. Once you let your friends and their judgments on your relationship they never leave. I also tend to think that certain things are private between a couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Uhhh... I'm having a hard time believing that this really happened. Of course I talk to other parents, male or female. Same with my husband. But we're adults and I trust him not to pick up women at the playground and he extends that same trust to me... lol.

OP here. I live in a very….dramatic….community. Mostly people from another culture where jealousy and control are the norm. Once I dated a hot guy (I’m divorced) and my friends’ husbands banned me from bringing him to get-togethers in case their wives, I dunno, hooked up with him in the bathroom.

So I’m not totally surprised, but just wanted a reality check that this isn’t normal. I don’t want to cause trouble for anyone but I also don’t want to be treated like I’m some temptress looking to steal husbands (that I don’t even want, ha).

NP here. I think it’s odd that the daughter was the enforcer. That said, I tend to err on the side of being conservative about these things and I won’t just go up to a dad and strike up a full on one on one conversation with just us. If it’s a larger group of people no issue if they get pulled into the conversation. If it’s a one off, like you see their kid do something cute or conversely if the kid fell, I might might make a quick comment. But I honestly don’t want to open up the potential for there to be a misunderstanding about flirting or interest with a parent of the opposite gender. I am also cautious in general about people that I don’t know and my kids don’t know.

You are preserving an outdated and very damaging outlook on relations between men and women by doing that. The world is a better place when fathers look after their kids, go on paternity leave, talk to other parents about their children. They cannot do that if they are limited to a small pool of other fathers. It doesn't make the job of engaged father very appealing, does it, if the women shun you just because of your sex? If you don't engage with all parents regardless of sex, all you're doing is perpetuating gender stereotypes. And we all know what that does: continued gender imbalance in the home and in the workplace, and thus continued challenges for your daughters to grow into careers and challenges for your sons to grow into engaged fathers.

NP, but as a dad who has never cheated and never wants to be tempted to or to give my wife suspicions that I'm doing something dirty, there's an old saying that goes something like if you don't bring that around you, you've got nothing to worry about. I'm not in a position where I'm going to be completely rude or ignore another parent, but casual conversation can become a slippery slope into noticing her nice body to wondering if she was flirting, to her really flirting or whatever. If I need to talk to her about something (say we arrive at a swing at the same time so there's confusion about whose kid gets on), then we'll talk and work out our. But I'm not really interested in any rumors going around the neighborhood about how "friendly" I am.

So you can’t have a casual conversation with a woman without worrying about it turning into something else? I mean, that’s nuts. Don’t you ever have to have conversations with women at work?? How on earth do you manage that if a conversation at a playground is fraught with potential peril?

NP here and also a woman, but consider yourself lucky if you have never been on the receiving end of gossip just because of casual conversation. It's much, much easier just to keep lines clear.

[Anonymous]

People are so uptight here, it’s nuts. Is this a DC thing?

[Anonymous]

Yes, and the little girl is rude

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dad's probably a cheater.


But it's totally fine to talk to parents of the opposite sex. Talk not flirt, I generally consider flirting in font of your kids tacky.

I would be friendly to the mom or dad equally until I met "cheater dad". I never flirt but I think my treating him as I treat other dads I know made him think "shes flirting with me". He made a move, I freaked out and still never want to talk to any guys again for fear of being misinterpreted. I know others are not him but cannot get over how horrifying it was. My biggest fear is if he mentioned me to others. I could not believe after all these years someone would make a move like some nutty teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes of course and if I become friendly with the dad I always make an effort to become friendly with the wife too. The dad so talk to the most I actually started out wanting to friends with the wife first but she was kind of aloof and he was more approachable and now he and I are friends. We have gone through periods of texting all day but it’s mostly bc we both have anxiety and I would feel comfortable with her reading everything that is written and often send my greeting a to her through him, happy bday etc, but she still does not reciprocate which bums me out a little.

I probably would reciprocate with a woman who thought it was appropriate to text my husband all day and discuss the details of his anxiety either.

Lol we don’t discuss his anxiety! He just does it because he is anxious. It could not be more harmless. We don’t even live in the same state!

It doesn't matter where you live or even if the conversation is "harmless". It's still not appropriate to be texting someone's spouse that way.

Trust me it does me shit to me. I am just finding it so entertaining that you have such strong judgmental opinions on something you could not possibly know anything about.

Every once in a while I get a taste of who is really on here and it makes me realize why it is such a waste of time. Guess what? Totally platonic friend and I know better than you, stranger, what is harmless or appropriate and you don't know squat. I could not care less about him romantically and I am certain he feels the same. It's sad you're threatened by the very idea of people acting as autonomous individuals once married.

Not threatned I just know BS when I see it. No good reason to be texting a married man all day long.

It's just hilarious how you think you know anything at all relevant and are so controlling and judgmental about people you don't even know. BS...covering what? My secret passionate longing for this person I am not even remotely interested in and have never once thought about that way and still can't? You have issues.

giving my opinion is not being controlled. Your angry outburst here over someone disagreeing with your choice to text a married man all day is interesting. If it really isn't a problem and yoou truly believe it is in no way inappropriate, my opinion should mean shit to you.

[Anonymous]

Agree with pp, the wife isn't amicable because you anxiously text her dh too much!

[Anonymous]

That little girl has heard too much.