I don't want to go on a 2 week vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If op was a DH you would all be eating him alive for skipping out on family time to train for a race and do work

Since I'm not sexist I'll go ahead and rip OP a new one. Press pause on your life for 2 weeks and go on the trip.

+1000. If my spouse told me that his “race” or tomato plants took priority over a family vacation I would be pissed. It’s two weeks ffs.

Yep exactly same.

I expect my husband to be very involved with his family (and he is) but I would never pressure him to give up his hobbies for an extra week of vacation. I want him to be happy! His races make him happy, his garden makes him happy, and time with his kids and me makes him happy. No need to make him choose. (Not OP by the way)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A week alone sounds great, but your DH probably doesn’t want to handle the kids for a week without you. Why don’t you schedule two separate weeks of vacation so your time gone in one stretch as long.

Sorry to interrupt your projection but what about the kids? They are asking mom to stay for 2 weeks as well, is that just a conspiracy to trap op too?

NP but no, I just think they want to be with their mom! And I don’t think the speculation is unfair to OP’s husband. Lots of us would prefer to take care of kids with our spouse in part because it’s less work. I don’t blame anyone for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When the kids are gone, which will be sooner than you think, you’ll regret not taking more time to be with them.

+1. I hate to be judgemental but I can't imagine if my mom went home by herself a few days early from vacation because she wanted to run and tend to her garden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When the kids are gone, which will be sooner than you think, you’ll regret not taking more time to be with them.

Or maybe she, like a lot of moms, will feel frustrated by how much her life she gave up for her kids when her kids didn’t really need her to?

Sorry but no. Preferring to work than vacation with your family is the stuff that strained relations are made of when kids grow up. Listen to Cats and the Cradle.

[Anonymous]

If my dh told me gardening and not boarding the dog and work took priority over spending two weeks together, I would be upset and giving them grief too.

It's just two weeks OP. I am sure a neighbor would gladly look after the garden if you allow them to harvest the ripe tomatoes, and that some boarding facility will be available for your dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If there’s no good option for the dog, I’m not sure what the debate is. You can’t just take off without accounting for your pet.

This is a red herring. Whatever the dog is doing for a week, it can do for two.

[Anonymous]

The race part sounds like a ridiculous reason not to go on a trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there’s no good option for the dog, I’m not sure what the debate is. You can’t just take off without accounting for your pet.

This is a red herring. Whatever the dog is doing for a week, it can do for two.

This.

OP sounds selfish. They aren't asking OP to move halfway around the world for two years. It is a two week vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my dh told me gardening and not boarding the dog and work took priority over spending two weeks together, I would be upset and giving them grief too.

It's just two weeks OP. I am sure a neighbor would gladly look after the garden if you allow them to harvest the ripe tomatoes, and that some boarding facility will be available for your dog.

OP here. Wow, I'm surprised my little complaint got so much feedback!

It isn't that gardening, etc. take priority over spending two weeks together. It's that I'd rather spend 2 weeks together HERE instead of THERE. I cannot imagine asking my neighbors to take care of my garden and boarding the dog for 2 weeks seems cruel. I also don't have anyone available to take care of him; all good friends either have cats or allergies or will be on vacation themselves.

The vacation involves travel to my inlaws on the west coast and it's too expensive to fly out there twice in one summer to do two 1 week vacations. I didn't specify that because the inlaws aren't the issue; they are lovely people and we end up not spending too much time with them, as DH loves to run around with the kids to local sights, to the beach (yep, I hate the beach), and to visit his friends and none of it sounds appealing to me. It's just go-go-go. I can beg off on some of the excursions, but that just means staying in the house and reading or watching tv, which isn't what I want to do either. It will take up all my vacation time, my work will pile up (I'm not a workaholic, but I do have to work extra before and after time away), and I guess I like my routine. 1 week seems plenty. We usually go for about 1 week and I start itching to get back home about 2 days prior to our departure date, but he wants to extend, probably because we had to skip last year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When the kids are gone, which will be sooner than you think, you’ll regret not taking more time to be with them.

Or maybe she, like a lot of moms, will feel frustrated by how much her life she gave up for her kids when her kids didn’t really need her to?

Sorry but no. Preferring to work than vacation with your family is the stuff that strained relations are made of when kids grow up. Listen to Cats and the Cradle.

The dad in cats cradle never spent a week with his kid on vacation!

Also how is this different than taking any time off from kids? I think we would all say that it’s totally fine when a parent wants to go out for several days to be with friends. And OP isn’t even telling her family she doesn’t want to be with them, just that she has things she needs to do at home.

I think it’s good for kids to see that their parents have their own lives. People tend to respect moms more when they are very present and loving with their kids but also set boundaries so they can live their own lives too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my dh told me gardening and not boarding the dog and work took priority over spending two weeks together, I would be upset and giving them grief too.

It's just two weeks OP. I am sure a neighbor would gladly look after the garden if you allow them to harvest the ripe tomatoes, and that some boarding facility will be available for your dog.

OP here. Wow, I'm surprised my little complaint got so much feedback!

It isn't that gardening, etc. take priority over spending two weeks together. It's that I'd rather spend 2 weeks together HERE instead of THERE. I cannot imagine asking my neighbors to take care of my garden and boarding the dog for 2 weeks seems cruel. I also don't have anyone available to take care of him; all good friends either have cats or allergies or will be on vacation themselves.

The vacation involves travel to my inlaws on the west coast and it's too expensive to fly out there twice in one summer to do two 1 week vacations. I didn't specify that because the inlaws aren't the issue; they are lovely people and we end up not spending too much time with them, as DH loves to run around with the kids to local sights, to the beach (yep, I hate the beach), and to visit his friends and none of it sounds appealing to me. It's just go-go-go. I can beg off on some of the excursions, but that just means staying in the house and reading or watching tv, which isn't what I want to do either. It will take up all my vacation time, my work will pile up (I'm not a workaholic, but I do have to work extra before and after time away), and I guess I like my routine. 1 week seems plenty. We usually go for about 1 week and I start itching to get back home about 2 days prior to our departure date, but he wants to extend, probably because we had to skip last year.

OP I understand why your husband and kids want you with them where they want to be, but I don’t understand people saying you are selfish for wanting your husband and kids to be where you want to be. These commenters are odd.

And fyi I understood from your post that you weren’t saying you wanted to be away from your kids. Not that I would blame you if you did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my dh told me gardening and not boarding the dog and work took priority over spending two weeks together, I would be upset and giving them grief too.

It's just two weeks OP. I am sure a neighbor would gladly look after the garden if you allow them to harvest the ripe tomatoes, and that some boarding facility will be available for your dog.

OP here. Wow, I'm surprised my little complaint got so much feedback!

It isn't that gardening, etc. take priority over spending two weeks together. It's that I'd rather spend 2 weeks together HERE instead of THERE. I cannot imagine asking my neighbors to take care of my garden and boarding the dog for 2 weeks seems cruel. I also don't have anyone available to take care of him; all good friends either have cats or allergies or will be on vacation themselves.

The vacation involves travel to my inlaws on the west coast and it's too expensive to fly out there twice in one summer to do two 1 week vacations. I didn't specify that because the inlaws aren't the issue; they are lovely people and we end up not spending too much time with them, as DH loves to run around with the kids to local sights, to the beach (yep, I hate the beach), and to visit his friends and none of it sounds appealing to me. It's just go-go-go. I can beg off on some of the excursions, but that just means staying in the house and reading or watching tv, which isn't what I want to do either. It will take up all my vacation time, my work will pile up (I'm not a workaholic, but I do have to work extra before and after time away), and I guess I like my routine. 1 week seems plenty. We usually go for about 1 week and I start itching to get back home about 2 days prior to our departure date, but he wants to extend, probably because we had to skip last year.

Why can't the dog come with you since you aren't flying? Maybe rent a pet friendly air bnb

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When the kids are gone, which will be sooner than you think, you’ll regret not taking more time to be with them.

Or maybe she, like a lot of moms, will feel frustrated by how much her life she gave up for her kids when her kids didn’t really need her to?

Sorry but no. Preferring to work than vacation with your family is the stuff that strained relations are made of when kids grow up. Listen to Cats and the Cradle.

The dad in cats cradle never spent a week with his kid on vacation!

Also how is this different than taking any time off from kids? I think we would all say that it’s totally fine when a parent wants to go out for several days to be with friends. And OP isn’t even telling her family she doesn’t want to be with them, just that she has things she needs to do at home.

I think it’s good for kids to see that their parents have their own lives. People tend to respect moms more when they are very present and loving with their kids but also set boundaries so they can live their own lives too.

It's 2 weeks of a family vacation. Not giving up all her free time for the rest of her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When the kids are gone, which will be sooner than you think, you’ll regret not taking more time to be with them.

Not OP, but I would rather be home with my kids. Not on vacation. I hate vacations. I find them too stressful. A week is more than enough. I would only a go a week, maximum. I prefer no vacations at all.

I, I, I... how are you so focused on what YOU like and want. You choose to be a mom, no? Sure, take time to do what you like and want, but come on, you and op are just self-centered people.
If you have anxiety and vacations are stressful, that is not bcs vacations are stressful that is bcs you are that type of person. Think about how you are in everyday situations. Be honest now, are you the cause of stress on vacations and not the activity itself? I grew up with a mom like you, the simplest activity turned into a nightmare stress fest bcs she created the stress.

No, I did not "choose" to be a mom. 50% of pregnancies are unplanned. I chose not to get an abortion. No one is missing out in life not going on a two-week vacation.

Your kids must know how you feel about them. They are "not abortions!"

My kids know they magically happened. I love them and am a good parent. But I have been perfectly happy not having kids at all. It was not my plan and an absolute shock both times.
Anyway, no one needs to go on a two-week vacation. One week is plenty. Stop shaming the OP that she NEEDS to go on a two-week vacation. It's ridiculous. I have not ever been on a 2-week vacation. Some people can't afford vacation at all. My parents never had vacations. It is a luxury for people. It is not a necessity. If she does not want to go, she shoud not feel obligated to go--especially for two weeks. Everyone--including a mother--is allowed to have her own needs and preferences and her family should respect that. She should not have to be a martyr for everyone else. I was raised that way...and it sucks. I don't put up with it anymore. Men don't. Why should women? She can have her preference for a week of vacation or no vacation. Her preferences should be considered by the family.

LOL, if that happened twice, that is a YOU problem, not a birth control problem. Maybe you aren't very smart?

It's called reproductive coercion and a spouse who refused to use birth control (after the first accident to which I said "I don't want to have a baby...get off me...but "no, it is not going to happen." Had no sex between kids for years and no sex afterward. I'm divorced now. I resent him. Yeah, I was an idiot for letting someone coerce me into sex the first time when I was off the pill for a day. And I regret having sex once more YEARS later and him refusing to pull out. Be glad you did not marry a jerk. This could have been anticipated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When the kids are gone, which will be sooner than you think, you’ll regret not taking more time to be with them.

Martyr mommy has entered the thread!