I don't want to go on a 2 week vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The race part sounds like a ridiculous reason not to go on a trip.

Surely you can train while on the trip? You can run just about anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 weeks staying in in-laws house is not my idea of a vacation. I'd stay for a week and then fly home separately. DH can manage with the kids and he'll have grandparents to help if needed.

If only op said that in her post at first? This would all be completely in her favor. Dcum is firmly, constantly against calling visits ILS and staying in their house a vacation!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If my dh told me gardening and not boarding the dog and work took priority over spending two weeks together, I would be upset and giving them grief too.

It's just two weeks OP. I am sure a neighbor would gladly look after the garden if you allow them to harvest the ripe tomatoes, and that some boarding facility will be available for your dog.

OP here. Wow, I'm surprised my little complaint got so much feedback!

It isn't that gardening, etc. take priority over spending two weeks together. It's that I'd rather spend 2 weeks together HERE instead of THERE. I cannot imagine asking my neighbors to take care of my garden and boarding the dog for 2 weeks seems cruel. I also don't have anyone available to take care of him; all good friends either have cats or allergies or will be on vacation themselves.

The vacation involves travel to my inlaws on the west coast and it's too expensive to fly out there twice in one summer to do two 1 week vacations. I didn't specify that because the inlaws aren't the issue; they are lovely people and we end up not spending too much time with them, as DH loves to run around with the kids to local sights, to the beach (yep, I hate the beach), and to visit his friends and none of it sounds appealing to me. It's just go-go-go. I can beg off on some of the excursions, but that just means staying in the house and reading or watching tv, which isn't what I want to do either. It will take up all my vacation time, my work will pile up (I'm not a workaholic, but I do have to work extra before and after time away), and I guess I like my routine. 1 week seems plenty. We usually go for about 1 week and I start itching to get back home about 2 days prior to our departure date, but he wants to extend, probably because we had to skip last year.

Well, that is pretty different than I hate vacations, I can't leave my garden and my dog and I am too stressed from going on vacations.
If you said you don't want to spend two weeks visiting his family and friends, I bet you we would all be on your side. So, which is it? You hate vacations or your just hate vacations that every single one of us would hate. Not a vacation but seeing his family and friends.

That’s why I didn’t want to say all that. It’s not as if I want to go somewhere else for 2 weeks either. I mean, maybe a once in a lifetime amazing trip, sure. But any place that’s actually feasible? I don’t want to go. I like my inlaws; I like his friends, so that’s not really it. I just would rather be home. I’ll talk to him again about shortening it or coming home early.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:When the kids are gone, which will be sooner than you think, you’ll regret not taking more time to be with them.

Not OP, but I would rather be home with my kids. Not on vacation. I hate vacations. I find them too stressful. A week is more than enough. I would only a go a week, maximum. I prefer no vacations at all.

I, I, I... how are you so focused on what YOU like and want. You choose to be a mom, no? Sure, take time to do what you like and want, but come on, you and op are just self-centered people.
If you have anxiety and vacations are stressful, that is not bcs vacations are stressful that is bcs you are that type of person. Think about how you are in everyday situations. Be honest now, are you the cause of stress on vacations and not the activity itself? I grew up with a mom like you, the simplest activity turned into a nightmare stress fest bcs she created the stress.

No, I did not "choose" to be a mom. 50% of pregnancies are unplanned. I chose not to get an abortion. No one is missing out in life not going on a two-week vacation.

Your kids must know how you feel about them. They are "not abortions!"

My kids know they magically happened. I love them and am a good parent. But I have been perfectly happy not having kids at all. It was not my plan and an absolute shock both times.
Anyway, no one needs to go on a two-week vacation. One week is plenty. Stop shaming the OP that she NEEDS to go on a two-week vacation. It's ridiculous. I have not ever been on a 2-week vacation. Some people can't afford vacation at all. My parents never had vacations. It is a luxury for people. It is not a necessity. If she does not want to go, she shoud not feel obligated to go--especially for two weeks. Everyone--including a mother--is allowed to have her own needs and preferences and her family should respect that. She should not have to be a martyr for everyone else. I was raised that way...and it sucks. I don't put up with it anymore. Men don't. Why should women? She can have her preference for a week of vacation or no vacation. Her preferences should be considered by the family.

LOL, if that happened twice, that is a YOU problem, not a birth control problem. Maybe you aren't very smart?

It's called reproductive coercion and a spouse who refused to use birth control (after the first accident to which I said "I don't want to have a baby...get off me...but "no, it is not going to happen." Had no sex between kids for years and no sex afterward. I'm divorced now. I resent him. Yeah, I was an idiot for letting someone coerce me into sex the first time when I was off the pill for a day. And I regret having sex once more YEARS later and him refusing to pull out. Be glad you did not marry a jerk. This could have been anticipated.

I sure hope you called the cops on him? And you better not be on the diet forum ripping people apart for being overweight. Cause you know choices are your own? And only you are to blame? If you are one of the thin people blaming overweight people for their weight, you are the worst hypocrite in the world. After all, they only have some extra adipose tissue and maybe other health issues that are not harming anyone else. You are actively harming your kids who know they are "miracles."

I have no idea what you are talking about. Not on the diet forum.

[Anonymous]

Here is what I think op, after your three updates. You dislike travel, you dislike being away from the house. Ok, not that unusual, but hate vacations that are feasible?
It seems that you might have gotten the impression that almost all vacations, you hate the beach as well, are torture and you dislike them.
That might interfere with your overall enjoyment of life and your kids. If everything is this big of a deal about travel, how are you with everyday unexpected circumstances and other punches life throws all of us once in a while?

[Anonymous]

I posted earlier that OP should go and be happy about it. But two weeks at the inlaws is NOT a vacation. I mean, unless they live in Hawaii or something and even then I only give hlaf credit.

But I also wouldn’t want DH to burn 2 weeks PTO visiting his parents and then be out of time for other trips I actually DID want to take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, tell your DH (and kids depending on their ages) to just knock it off, you're happy for them to go as long as they like and here's what you'll be doing. I've been through this in the reverse to some extent; I often like to take trips my DH has no interest in going on. In our case I never actually minded him staying at home but he used to give me a lot of grief about wanting to go and for a long time I gave in. Then one day I thought, "this isn't how I want to live my life" and told him I was going, he was welcome to come or to enjoy some downtime at home, and after grumbling for awhile he saw it wasn't getting him anywhere and stopped. Sometimes you just have to power through the whining and grey rock it out for awhile - it'll be worth it.

+100

I had the same situation with my DH! He used to travel and also had good excuses why he couldn’t travel (green card issues, etc.). But now he never wants to leave the house and I love traveling so I just go on my own. He used to guilt me and say I didn’t want to be around him and one day I started replying ‘yup, I don’t want to be in this house all the time. You are always welcome to join me!’ He stopped complaining after that. We also have very disparate amounts of vacation time so I get it. But it was liberating!

[Anonymous]

this is kind of my situation, only its my parents, not DHs, on the west coast (and I dont have plants). We compromised this year--10 days. And during that time we each give each other days off, when one of us does the activities and the other can catch up on work workout etc.

DH and I have also trips where one of us leaves earlier or comes later, but that's usually because of a firm commitment.

[Anonymous]

We just took a 2.5 week vacation. It was lovely. We all did workout during the trip (run, lift weights, etc)---we always do. (teen boys 13&15 and spouse and I) and did many active things--hike, etc.

By the end of week 2, we all were really to get back home.

I will say it was the perfect 're-set". All of us were so sick of our home after the year-long pandemic that when we returned everything seemed fresh and new and comfortable. It's given us all a pep in our step .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When the kids are gone, which will be sooner than you think, you’ll regret not taking more time to be with them.

I really, really doubt this, and it's pretty wack that you would try to guilt her into wanting to take this vacation because of this so-called regret. No way would she look back and say, "I really should've stayed for that extra week of vacation back in 2021.

[Anonymous]

Go for a week and return home. Everyone else can stay if they want.