High needs babies, when older

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Yeah, my second baby was so so easy. I was like, oh, this is why people keep having babies.

NP. Lol, same experience here. There's a reason why there are 5.5 years between my two kids. But when DS2 was a baby, I was convinced we should have a third right away. He was the easiest baby. I earned him!

OP, my high needs baby was challenging all the way through childhood, in one way or another. The teen years were hard emotionally--he was so argumentative and sometimes really difficult to get along with--but we didn't have any problems with drugs, drinking, truancy, depression, major defiance--none of the big teen worries. He's now 23 and has turned out wonderfully-- graduated from college, working a good job, in a relationship with a lovely young woman--doing great. He's very close with DH, me, and DS2, and with my parents, whom he adores. He's really a great person. Still intense. Still struggles with anxiety, though he manages well with behavioral techniques. Looking back, I'm convinced that many of his childhood behavior issues were rooted in anxiety. But he also was just convinced from an early age that he was a grownup and he chafed at a world that treated him like a child. I think he was happier in high school because he was finally being treated more like an adult and he had more control.

My DS2 is 18 now, and he's still easy as pie.

Forgot to say: Actually, my high-needs baby was always an adventurous eater. It is DS2 who is picky.

I have a 6 yo and 2 yo and I’m almost certain this is my future exactly (if we are so lucky).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid who napped for only 30 minutes at a time and needed to be held constantly is now 17. He sleeps 16 hours at a stretch and emerges from his room to join the family only for meals.

[Anonymous]

I posted midway through this thread but it's really interesting, all the common traits in older kid high need babies.

When I first read the thread I had to check the date, one of the posts on the first page sounded exactly like something I could've wrote, I thought maybe it was an old thread.

[Anonymous]

Teen now. Anxiety., restricted eating (extremely sensitive palate and texture sensitivities), inconsistent pain responses (sometimes just gets weird responses to things, lots of stomach aches, things like braces drive them nuts). Teachers, other parents, etc. typically think she’s great though. But there’s a lot of the same issues underneath the surface with the eating, sleeping, colick, etc.

But my easy baby is even more challenging in different ways, so maybe it’s just me.

[Anonymous]

10 years old now. Very anxious (which sometimes manifests itself as being controlling of others). But... also highly competent, smart, verbal, helpful, perceptive. In hindsight it was always anxiety and anxiety can come with strengths as well as weaknesses.

[Anonymous]

My incredibly easy baby, who slept through the night at 12 weeks and never stopped, is an exhausting, difficult seven year old. I absolutely love her, but she needs constant attention and gets into trouble often.

[Anonymous]

Sleep got better and meltdowns went away. At 9: Gifted in language arts and art. Artist temperament and very vivid imagination; can get overstimulated in doctors offices and loud crowded places; stubborn and will not move one smidgen if she doesn't see the reason.

[Anonymous]

My extremely high needs baby wanted to be held 24/7 until age 3 and had extreme separation anxiety seemingly since birth (only wanted mom all the time). She had colic, reflux and a milk protein allergy as a baby. She always slept less than the bare minimum and hated napping. Between the ages of 9 months and age 2.5 she woke up between 4:45-5am every single day, which honestly almost broke me. She is also very strong willed and emotional.

Starting around age 4 a switch flipped and she became a much more relaxed, easy going child and was really fun to be around. She is now 8 and a totally different child - very extroverted, has tons of friends, very independent and can entertain herself. She is extremely smart, has a great sense of humor, and is a really great friend to others.

She still sleeps less than many of her friends but she wakes up around 6:30/6:45 most days and entertains herself as long as needed. I do think she can be a bit anxious sometimes but it does not seem to impact her life at all or hold her back. She is still a picky eater but it’s not a texture thing. She has expanded her palate over the past few years and will generally try new things, she just doesn’t usually like them.

She is honestly such a wonderful kid and I hope it continues going into the teen years. For as impossible as she was as a baby, she is a very easy kid now.