High needs babies, when older

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Yeah, my second baby was so so easy. I was like, oh, this is why people keep having babies.

NP. Lol, same experience here. There's a reason why there are 5.5 years between my two kids. But when DS2 was a baby, I was convinced we should have a third right away. He was the easiest baby. I earned him!

OP, my high needs baby was challenging all the way through childhood, in one way or another. The teen years were hard emotionally--he was so argumentative and sometimes really difficult to get along with--but we didn't have any problems with drugs, drinking, truancy, depression, major defiance--none of the big teen worries. He's now 23 and has turned out wonderfully-- graduated from college, working a good job, in a relationship with a lovely young woman--doing great. He's very close with DH, me, and DS2, and with my parents, whom he adores. He's really a great person. Still intense. Still struggles with anxiety, though he manages well with behavioral techniques. Looking back, I'm convinced that many of his childhood behavior issues were rooted in anxiety. But he also was just convinced from an early age that he was a grownup and he chafed at a world that treated him like a child. I think he was happier in high school because he was finally being treated more like an adult and he had more control.

My DS2 is 18 now, and he's still easy as pie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Yeah, my second baby was so so easy. I was like, oh, this is why people keep having babies.

NP. Lol, same experience here. There's a reason why there are 5.5 years between my two kids. But when DS2 was a baby, I was convinced we should have a third right away. He was the easiest baby. I earned him!

OP, my high needs baby was challenging all the way through childhood, in one way or another. The teen years were hard emotionally--he was so argumentative and sometimes really difficult to get along with--but we didn't have any problems with drugs, drinking, truancy, depression, major defiance--none of the big teen worries. He's now 23 and has turned out wonderfully-- graduated from college, working a good job, in a relationship with a lovely young woman--doing great. He's very close with DH, me, and DS2, and with my parents, whom he adores. He's really a great person. Still intense. Still struggles with anxiety, though he manages well with behavioral techniques. Looking back, I'm convinced that many of his childhood behavior issues were rooted in anxiety. But he also was just convinced from an early age that he was a grownup and he chafed at a world that treated him like a child. I think he was happier in high school because he was finally being treated more like an adult and he had more control.

My DS2 is 18 now, and he's still easy as pie.

Forgot to say: Actually, my high-needs baby was always an adventurous eater. It is DS2 who is picky.

[Anonymous]

High needs baby. Turned out to have superior IQ.

[Anonymous]

My high needs baby is now a high needs teen. It never got easier.

[Anonymous]

My first was a colicky mess from birth. I remember in the hospital like 12 hours after he was born, the nurses took him for some tests because he had very low blood sugar. And we heard him absolutely screaming his head off while coming down the hall when they brought him back. This kid was mad all the time from birth to about 4 months. Lol. He had extreme separation anxiety from about 1-2. We couldn’t leave him anywhere, not with a sitter, not in the church nursery, if people were in the house he was up my husband’s or my butt the entire time.

He’s now 6 and has definitely calmed down about some things but still tends to “dwell” on stuff. Like he’ll randomly bring up the time my husband was in the hospital for 2 nights. Or when I made a wrong turn going to an unfamiliar playground and we had to drive through the neighborhood to get back on a main road to turn around. He’s always been a good and not picky eater so can’t really speak to that, and his sleep is fine although he is a naturally early riser and always has been.

[Anonymous]

I have to say my high needs baby turned out to be high needs kid until very recently, he is almost 12.

He is gifted, high IQ, but ADHD and anxiety.

He has had a lot of intervention: counseling, occupational therapy, specialized camps, etc. so he is now almost self sufficient and self soothing.

He is also VERY VERY sweet and affectionate, but sensitive.

So, my role as a parent is to ensure he succeeds and becomes a successful adult.

He is amazing, just very sensitive.

[Anonymous]

High needs baby, often sick, sensitive to fabrics, milk allergy, very picky eater. Became a sensitive boy who struggled with bullying in late elementary and middle school - we ended up switching to a private high school where things improved. Participated in sports but anxiety seemed to hold him back at times in spite of being gifted with athleticism.

Mediocre student who does the bare minimum to get good enough grades. Took a few APs in high school, but only got the passing grade on the exam.

Very stubborn and can be difficult when pressed to be a bit more social & outgoing. Has a core set of friends and a decent social life but doesn't like parties much and has no interest in alcohol or drugs, thank god! Has been on a few dates, but no real interest in dating girls (or boys).

[Anonymous]

Anxiety as teen

[Anonymous]

Well adjusted, bright, happy, healthy. Very chill. I do not think there would have been issues if there hadn't been ear infections and colic. Like, being fussy and high-maintenance isn't her core disposition now that those have resolved.

[Anonymous]

I was tough as a baby/toddler. Colic, reflux, night terrors, motion sickness, frequent high fevers, lots of nightmares and fears and stomachaches. Probably would have been diagnosed with ASD, sensory processing disorder, and/or PANDAs if I were a kid today.

Now: fairly anxious but decently controlled. It helps that I have a lot more ability to structure my own life than I did when I was a kid. Perfectly fine eater and I was not unusually picky as a child either: I do have IBS and take some measures to control that. Above average intelligence. Never had issues with addiction or breaking the law, though I was a pretty grumpy/mopey teen. I finished college and grad school and am in a happy marriage. I get along well with my siblings.

I also have a decent relationship with my parents although I see how some of their own traits and how they interact with each other are problematic for them and their marriage, and have some more insight into how that affected me as a kid. I am not saying that OP is causing her kid to be difficult, but high-strung sensory sensitive anxious people often have kids who are the same way and may not know how to help themselves or their kids. That was definitely true in my family. But we made it through ok.

[Anonymous]

Our oldest would not sleep from midnight to six am for the first six months and slept with one eye half open to make sure someone was nearby at all times. If they crept away to use the restroom or get a drink in the kitchen, she started wailing.

She's now 17. Super smart, hilarious sarcastic sense of humor, kind-hearted, has the personality of a leader instead of a follower, is great with kids, holds her peers to certain standards (aka your BS isn't good here).

[Anonymous]

My colicky baby is a lovey dovey super smart 5 year old. Definitely not high needs anymore, but physical touch is her love language.

[Anonymous]

High needs baby is now 10 and ADHD- and all that comes with it! His younger brother was a super chill baby and continues to be that way. Even the actual labors were different for my two boys. The first one was endless and horrific. The second was a piece of cake. Really interesting.

[Anonymous]

Finally slept through the night at age 6. Extroverted. Makes loads of friends every time she goes anywhere. Persistent, leader, never plays alone, picky eater, keeps you on your toes, life is never boring. Exhausting but imaginative, original, and full of life💥

[Anonymous]

My high needs baby is a wonderful but high needs 6yo. Anxiety and sensory disorder.