High needs babies, when older

[Anonymous]

My first was very high needs. We rode it all out and were super patient. We were regularly accused of spoiling and catering, but we didn't care. Sleep does get better. The tantrums continued until age 6 1/2 or 7 and then disappeared within a matter of months. He became a very chill, mature, well-regulated kid. Sporty. Popular. Smart. He is almost 17 and navigating the pandemic with him was...easy. I mean, he's a teenager who stays up late and plays videogames too much and leaves crumbs all over the counter. But when I hear what other parents go through, I feel very lucky.

Oh, one thing. He ate normalish until 2 and then became very picky. Still is. He is diagnosed with ARFID. But so far he has maintained an adequate weight and is healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My first was very high needs. We rode it all out and were super patient. We were regularly accused of spoiling and catering, but we didn't care. Sleep does get better. The tantrums continued until age 6 1/2 or 7 and then disappeared within a matter of months. He became a very chill, mature, well-regulated kid. Sporty. Popular. Smart. He is almost 17 and navigating the pandemic with him was...easy. I mean, he's a teenager who stays up late and plays videogames too much and leaves crumbs all over the counter. But when I hear what other parents go through, I feel very lucky.

Oh, one thing. He ate normalish until 2 and then became very picky. Still is. He is diagnosed with ARFID. But so far he has maintained an adequate weight and is healthy.

Me again. Forgot to say that my second was an easy baby. He is the light of my life, but turned out to have multiple special needs. When he was 1 and his brother was 4 I would have said the younger would be the one having an easy life and the older would be struggling. Turned out the opposite was true.

[Anonymous]

Incredibly easy, very calm, the easiest teenager, great sleeper, great eater except for not drinking milk. Straight A student, in med school now. Extrovert, very social. As an infant, he had colic, cried for hours, refused the bottle, slept in our bed for 3 years, would woke up to nurse at least 3 times/night for years, had to be held for naps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid who napped for only 30 minutes at a time and needed to be held constantly is now 17. He sleeps 16 hours at a stretch and emerges from his room to join the family only for meals.

Is he depressed?

NP here. Teenagers sleep A LOT. I remember having to take mine up at 1 PM on weekends because we'd want to do things as a family. Also they love to go to bed late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very anxious

Same here. Very anxious, sensitive, and has ADD.

[Anonymous]

My special needs preemie baby was not fussy, quite the contrary, he was too passive. We had to engage with him otherwise he would just ignore everyone and dream, and he spent years in PT, OT, speech, etc. Turns out he has inattentive ADHD, very low processing speed, anxiety and probably HFA. Now a teen, he has medical and developmental challenges we need to keep on top of, but his personality is very calm and undemanding.

My neurotypical, never-sleeping, very loud and bossy baby turned into an anxious, stubborn, mercurial, and emotionally demanding child. She doesn't sleep much, but has learned to care for her many pets and play video games and read quietly before the household wakes up. She also knows everything and we're all stupid. The really annoying thing is that she's often right. I can't wait to cohabit when she actually becomes a teenager...

...not.

[Anonymous]

1st was high need. 2nd was so easy! I will never forget the first time he just fell asleep in his little baby chair. He got tired, closed his eyes, and fell asleep. I was so amazed and shocked lol.

High need is 14 now and very intelligent, very bright. Talented in all sorts of ways, can do anything and do it well. Amazing artist. Super organized, loves order and checklists. Very thoughtful, and her mind is quite amazing. Gets straight A's, but with marks like 99% in LA, 98% in math. She has remarkable intuition and sets good boundaries for how others treat her.

She strives, sometimes too much (we work on this - like she would've still gotten 100% but could've done 40% less work). She has anxiety about social situations. She is hard on herself. It's hard as a parent but she is still so determined and strong willed, very hard to get through sometimes. Hormones affect her very strongly. She is still just as sensitive. She cares quite a lot about what others think.

She is so reasonable and articulate, loves debate (she wants to be a lawyer) and I've given into more than I really wanted too and am sort of paying for that now.

As a baby she was a little better once she could walk and talk. While in the hospital, doctor said good luck with that one. I remember the nurses taking her thinking they could calm her down, that I was a new mom who hadn't learned yet. Then they brought her back.

She knew what she wanted, like she really did NOT like being a baby. She was planning her university living situation in grade 3. She is loyal.

[Anonymous]

Out of 3, my worse sleeper up until 2/2.5, is now the best sleeper of the 3 at 5.5. She NEVER wakes up... the other two have sometimes trouble falling asleep and waking up occasionally. She was literally waking up every 40 minutes until 8 months+. She had lactose intolerance, wanted to be carried ALL the time, etc.

She is tough, strong, smart, brave, confident and the one of the 3 I worry about the least. She has an amazing personality, lots of friends, is academically gifted (was tested for private school), eats everything, etc.

The easiest baby of the 3 was my first. She slept through the night on her own at 6 months, never had eating issues and was definitely an easy baby. She is smart and kind, but a little insecure, a picky eater and definitely “needs” me more, more attention, more validation, etc.

In my experience, being a difficult baby does not translate in a difficult child

[Anonymous]

We began treatment for anxiety at age 9. She is now a delightful, warmhearted teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Yeah, my second baby was so so easy. I was like, oh, this is why people keep having babies.

Yes!!! I only had a second because I wanted a sibling for first. After my first I could not h deter as how anyone could want more babies.

[Anonymous]

Still not a good eater, but sleeps much better (we use melatonin)

Very sensitive child and diagnosed with AD/HD combined (has trouble regulating emotions/self)

[Anonymous]

OP my fussiest baby was my easiest teen and college, student.

Our easiest baby was our hardest teen and college student.

One never knows.

[Anonymous]

Bright, happy, creative kid. Great athlete. Eats constantly. No problems being a picky eater. Kind of a night owl, but otherwise sleeps well. Diagnosed with ASD and ADHD in third grade.

[Anonymous]

My easy baby is definitely a harder as a teen than my super fussy, always crying, never sleeping baby who is in high school now and a total breeze. Cheerful, great student, wonderful sense of humor and generally agreeable kid.

[Anonymous]

High needs baby is now 13 and has adhd. I think he also has anxiety but hasn’t been diagnosed yet.