Tipping - how to advise teens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you tell your kids to tip on the total or on the pre-tax amount?

I use the total. Does anyone even look at the pretax amount?

Of course they do. I always tip on the pretax and will have my kids do the same.

If the meal was $22 and tax was 6%, that’s $23.32.

I’ll be paying $4.40 (probably $4.50), or 20% or just over.

If someone pays 20% on post tax, they are leaving $4.60. It’s around the same.

See, I would have done $4.68 to make my actual cost $28. I'm lazy not petty.

[Anonymous]

Tipping on the pretax amount is the definition of cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tipping on the pretax amount is the definition of cheap.

Disagree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We eat out rarely but always tip at 50% or more. I love to surprise people that may have been having a bad day or have struggles the customer doesn’t see. And no, I don’t wait around for a thank you or do it as some performative act. I was a lowly server once and an extra $20 would make my day. I teach my child the same when they are out with friends. If you can’t afford that, you really can’t afford to eat out. No one knows this is my “thing” I do it for myself with the goal of putting good energy out in the world.

Do you want, but no one is expected or should feel socially obligated to tip 50+%, whether they can afford to or not. Also once a server but this is stupid advice to give a teen on throwing away their money

While I agree no one should feel obligated to tip this amount, telling your kid they are throwing their money away on another working human being is pretty bad. It widens the economic gap and infers the server is lesser and undeserving.

NP here. I agree that teaching a kid that it's "throwing away" money to use it to pay someone for a job well done is not a good idea. But you're not teaching your kid anything useful if you teach them that tipping well on occasion will do squat to tackle income inequality. Rich kids should understand that rampant income inequality exists, and people who earn less aren't somehow "less than". But let's not pretend that they can overcome this by earning a lot of money and being generous. That's a great way to quietly make yourself feel okay about a deeply inequitable system.

FTR, I'm UMC/rich, and I grew up UMC/rich. I think I'm a solid tipper, but I'm not delusional about the value of my doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:20% pretax for good service and 20% post tax for better service. Easy.

Stop with pretax stuff. How much more is it really for post tax.

Rule #1 teach your kid not be rude to server. Rule #2 teach your kid not to be a cheap annoying teen that servers can’t stand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Explain to your kid what categories of workers are "tipped employees" whose salary is lower by law because the restaurant lobby convinced the DOL long ago that they make a ton in tips, effectively passing the obligation to pay the employee to the customer directly and enabling the worker to evade taxes more easily.

This is not entirely true. Waiters and other tipped employees must make at least the minimum wage in combined base pay plus tips. If the tips received are not enough to cover this, the employer must make up the difference.

Not that this is an excuse for not tipping, but it is important to understand that no waiter (even the worst one) is actually making $2.something/hour.

Not sure where everyone is getting 20% as a standard tip, though. 15% is standard in the US for average service. 20% for good service. And complain to the manager for bad service.

Counter service is generally not tipped, but I might do it if extra effort is involved in packaging my order or something similar.

Emily Post has a good discussion on tipping on her web site.

And, yes, adolescents should tip the same way as their parents.

You clearly have never worked in a restaurant a day in your life.

[Anonymous]

You give what you can afford. It is customary but not legally enforceable

Most teens do not eat in restaurants. It is much cheaper to skip lunch, get by with just a chocolate bar and an apple, or to simply eat at home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You give what you can afford. It is customary but not legally enforceable

Most teens do not eat in restaurants. It is much cheaper to skip lunch, get by with just a chocolate bar and an apple, or to simply eat at home

If your teen can't afford 15-20 percent on top of the meal for tip, he shouldn't eat there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You give what you can afford. It is customary but not legally enforceable

Most teens do not eat in restaurants. It is much cheaper to skip lunch, get by with just a chocolate bar and an apple, or to simply eat at home

If your teen can't afford 15-20 percent on top of the meal for tip, he shouldn't eat there.

Or order something cheaper, or get friends who spend less mo money, or just buy a milkshake
When did kids start going to restaurants for meals? That is a lot of money for the average teen whose income source is babysitting and mowing the lawn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Explain to your kid what categories of workers are "tipped employees" whose salary is lower by law because the restaurant lobby convinced the DOL long ago that they make a ton in tips, effectively passing the obligation to pay the employee to the customer directly and enabling the worker to evade taxes more easily.

This is not entirely true. Waiters and other tipped employees must make at least the minimum wage in combined base pay plus tips. If the tips received are not enough to cover this, the employer must make up the difference.

Not that this is an excuse for not tipping, but it is important to understand that no waiter (even the worst one) is actually making $2.something/hour.

Not sure where everyone is getting 20% as a standard tip, though. 15% is standard in the US for average service. 20% for good service. And complain to the manager for bad service.

Counter service is generally not tipped, but I might do it if extra effort is involved in packaging my order or something similar.

Emily Post has a good discussion on tipping on her web site.

And, yes, adolescents should tip the same way as their parents.

You clearly have never worked in a restaurant a day in your life.

A server for many years and I agree with the above except the minimum wage part. I've never known an employer to do this. But everyone in the service industry (or maybe all industries) feel entitled to more money; hence tip jars in every single store, push for 20%+ tip of else you are "cheap", tipping anyone and everyone with the exception of medical, legal, and financial work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20% pretax for good service and 20% post tax for better service. Easy.

Stop with pretax stuff. How much more is it really for post tax.

Rule #1 teach your kid not be rude to server. Rule #2 teach your kid not to be a cheap annoying teen that servers can’t stand.

I’m a pleasant customer. I also tip pretax. Google it. It’s the standard and appropriate. The tax has nothing to do with the service provided.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20% pretax for good service and 20% post tax for better service. Easy.

Stop with pretax stuff. How much more is it really for post tax.

Rule #1 teach your kid not be rude to server. Rule #2 teach your kid not to be a cheap annoying teen that servers can’t stand.

I’m a pleasant customer. I also tip pretax. Google it. It’s the standard and appropriate. The tax has nothing to do with the service provided.

Neither does the cost of your meal
If you just go out with friends and order the cheapest small item

[Anonymous]

By the time they can dine out on their own, they should be able to do the percentage math in their head very well.
Add 15-20% to the total. If they can't do that without the calculator, they need to go back to elementary math.

[Anonymous]

Please also tell them to tip at hotels. DH has been drumming this into our kids for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please also tell them to tip at hotels. DH has been drumming this into our kids for years.

For what?