Tipping - how to advise teens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Explain to your kid what categories of workers are "tipped employees" whose salary is lower by law because the restaurant lobby convinced the DOL long ago that they make a ton in tips, effectively passing the obligation to pay the employee to the customer directly and enabling the worker to evade taxes more easily.

This is not entirely true. Waiters and other tipped employees must make at least the minimum wage in combined base pay plus tips. If the tips received are not enough to cover this, the employer must make up the difference.

Not that this is an excuse for not tipping, but it is important to understand that no waiter (even the worst one) is actually making $2.something/hour.

Not sure where everyone is getting 20% as a standard tip, though. 15% is standard in the US for average service. 20% for good service. And complain to the manager for bad service.

Counter service is generally not tipped, but I might do it if extra effort is involved in packaging my order or something similar.

Emily Post has a good discussion on tipping on her web site.

And, yes, adolescents should tip the same way as their parents.

"Not that this is an excuse for not tipping, but it is important to understand that no waiter (even the worst one) is actually making $2.something/hour."

Sorry to laugh, but no one enforces this. Typically it doesn't happen often, but people most definitely walk away with less than minimum wage. And it's SOP for managers to require servers to do pre- and post-serving work while on the clock at $2.13.

What happens more frequently is that you get a shift with few and poor tippers, and you technically make $9/hr at a restaurant with $25 entrees, where you'd expect to make more, and you still need to pay your rent.

Sorry, it's weird to think "no big deal if people don't tip according to custom, they'll still get minimum wage!" Imagine if you did a great job, your boss was like eh, I know you usually get a bonus based on sales, but I'm not feeling it today. But don't worry, I'll still pay you $7.25/hr." That's just not the job. It's harder to get a serving job than most minimum wage jobs because it's not supposed to be a minimum wage job.

I'm not talking about awful service or whether tipped workers should have a higher wage, or how we should just be like Europe or whatever. I'm talking about the situation here and now for competent service.

When I say people walk out with less than min wage, I don't mean often, but literally almost every server has, at times, regardless of the law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ 15% might have been okay 30+ years ago, but not today. The wait staff salary has not changed in that time, and yours has. Trust me they need it more than you. If you're eating out, and have good service, you should tip 20%.

The price of the check, and therefore the actual amount, has kept up with inflation. 15% is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ 15% might have been okay 30+ years ago, but not today. The wait staff salary has not changed in that time, and yours has. Trust me they need it more than you. If you're eating out, and have good service, you should tip 20%.

https://www.tripadvisor.com/Travel-g191-s606/United-States:Tipping.And.Etiquette.html#:~:text=Generally%2C%20the%20average%20tip%20is,greatly%20depending%20upon%20the%20source.

Generally, the average tip is 15% to 20% of the total meal cost. Tipping practices can vary depending upon the location in the U.S., and even published guidance can vary greatly depending upon the source.


Don't pretend like 20% is a standard tip, it isn't.

--Server

[Anonymous]

We eat out rarely but always tip at 50% or more. I love to surprise people that may have been having a bad day or have struggles the customer doesn’t see. And no, I don’t wait around for a thank you or do it as some performative act. I was a lowly server once and an extra $20 would make my day. I teach my child the same when they are out with friends. If you can’t afford that, you really can’t afford to eat out. No one knows this is my “thing” I do it for myself with the goal of putting good energy out in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We eat out rarely but always tip at 50% or more. I love to surprise people that may have been having a bad day or have struggles the customer doesn’t see. And no, I don’t wait around for a thank you or do it as some performative act. I was a lowly server once and an extra $20 would make my day. I teach my child the same when they are out with friends. If you can’t afford that, you really can’t afford to eat out. No one knows this is my “thing” I do it for myself with the goal of putting good energy out in the world.

Do you want, but no one is expected or should feel socially obligated to tip 50+%, whether they can afford to or not. Also once a server but this is stupid advice to give a teen on throwing away their money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We eat out rarely but always tip at 50% or more. I love to surprise people that may have been having a bad day or have struggles the customer doesn’t see. And no, I don’t wait around for a thank you or do it as some performative act. I was a lowly server once and an extra $20 would make my day. I teach my child the same when they are out with friends. If you can’t afford that, you really can’t afford to eat out. No one knows this is my “thing” I do it for myself with the goal of putting good energy out in the world.

Do you want, but no one is expected or should feel socially obligated to tip 50+%, whether they can afford to or not. Also once a server but this is stupid advice to give a teen on throwing away their money

While I agree no one should feel obligated to tip this amount, telling your kid they are throwing their money away on another working human being is pretty bad. It widens the economic gap and infers the server is lesser and undeserving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We eat out rarely but always tip at 50% or more. I love to surprise people that may have been having a bad day or have struggles the customer doesn’t see. And no, I don’t wait around for a thank you or do it as some performative act. I was a lowly server once and an extra $20 would make my day. I teach my child the same when they are out with friends. If you can’t afford that, you really can’t afford to eat out. No one knows this is my “thing” I do it for myself with the goal of putting good energy out in the world.

Do you want, but no one is expected or should feel socially obligated to tip 50+%, whether they can afford to or not. Also once a server but this is stupid advice to give a teen on throwing away their money

While I agree no one should feel obligated to tip this amount, telling your kid they are throwing their money away on another working human being is pretty bad. It widens the economic gap and infers the server is lesser and undeserving.

No it doesn’t. It is about not being flippant with your money. Your own kid deserves to keep the money they earn and not overpay for goods and services. If you want to give your server a hefty donation, fine, but that isn’t how I would pick to spend my money nor would I tell my child that is expected of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you tell your kids to tip on the total or on the pre-tax amount?

I use the total. Does anyone even look at the pretax amount?

I tip 20% on pre-tax total for Uber Eats deliveries. In person dining it's 20% of the total total.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We eat out rarely but always tip at 50% or more. I love to surprise people that may have been having a bad day or have struggles the customer doesn’t see. And no, I don’t wait around for a thank you or do it as some performative act. I was a lowly server once and an extra $20 would make my day. I teach my child the same when they are out with friends. If you can’t afford that, you really can’t afford to eat out. No one knows this is my “thing” I do it for myself with the goal of putting good energy out in the world.

Do you want, but no one is expected or should feel socially obligated to tip 50+%, whether they can afford to or not. Also once a server but this is stupid advice to give a teen on throwing away their money

+1

[Anonymous]

10% on subtotal, 0 on takeout. Party of 8 or more 25%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Party of 8 or more 25%.

Good point about teaching your kids to tip extra for large groups especially when splitting checks.

[Anonymous]

why don't owners pay the appropriate wage for their employees? it's ridiculous that customers have to make sure workers can pay rent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why don't owners pay the appropriate wage for their employees? it's ridiculous that customers have to make sure workers can pay rent.

Famously tried by a lot of famous restaurant owners in 2015 - the restaurants dropped but then returned tipping. Customers revolted and staff fled because they were actually making LESS.

https://money.cnn.com/2016/01/19/pf/no-tipping-reversed-bar-agricole-trou-normand/

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/05/why-restaurants-walk-back-no-tipping-policies/482151/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Party of 8 or more 25%.

Good point about teaching your kids to tip extra for large groups especially when splitting checks.

And when in big groups, checking to see what tip was automatically added to the bill and how much you want to add on top (if any).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you tell your kids to tip on the total or on the pre-tax amount?

I use the total. Does anyone even look at the pretax amount?

Of course they do. I always tip on the pretax and will have my kids do the same.

If the meal was $22 and tax was 6%, that’s $23.32.

I’ll be paying $4.40 (probably $4.50), or 20% or just over.

If someone pays 20% on post tax, they are leaving $4.60. It’s around the same.