I understand this is a ridiculous first world problem to have, but

[Anonymous]

Your family! Bring ear plugs, an eye mask and some a white noise app on your phone. Having help is priceless. You are exhausted!! You need help.

You can socialize with DHs family once you’ve gotten some sleep. Toddlers don’t need friends to play with Bc they hate sharing. A doting grandma is much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Any change to send DH to his family with the toddler? And you and the baby go to your family?

I’d definitely try to pull off this plan if it were me!

This is an interesting solution. In my family it make both grandmas unhappy (one missing grandkid they didn't see) so, not worth the headache. Best to just pick one or the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh your family 100%

+1

[Anonymous]

Your family’s. Don’t mix unvaccinated kids.

[Anonymous]

I vote you and baby to your family. DH, toddler and dog to his family. (As long as you trust that he’d keep an eye on toddler, especially around water).

I’ll take it even further. I say you leave some pumped BM or formula with baby, mom and grandma and you go to a hotel for a night.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, this is a question? You family, hands down. My in-laws are only helpful if it suits them. My family is always helpful when we stay with them. I don't have to cook, my mom/stepdad will watch the kids, mom will help clean up, change a diaper, and make up beds, etc.

If it were me, I really wouldn't choose either place if there was no dedicate room (4 walls, windows, AND a closing door) for me to sleep in. Sleep and privacy are too important to me and my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Any change to send DH to his family with the toddler? And you and the baby go to your family?

I’d definitely try to pull off this plan if it were me!

+1000

This was my exact first thought.

[Anonymous]

Your family hands down!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your family hands down!

+1

[Anonymous]

Your family! The cruddy bedroom situation is made up for by the helpfulness that you need right now. Plan time with the other side of the family later in the summer.

[Anonymous]

Where are these "cabins"? Even your BFF's family has a cabin? I've just never heard of so many references to cabins, and you, your DH and BFF's families all have them.

[Anonymous]

I think it is more common in rural states like Maine, MI, WI with lots of little lakes.

[Anonymous]

I'd go to your family. I have similar family dynamics and it's way easier to be with my family. I'd visit my in-laws later in the summer and would consider getting a cabin nearby, if possible

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your family.

S/o- why are in laws always so unhelpful? It is the same with my in laws. Do they just not feel comfortable/obligated because it’s not their daughter that’s the mom that’s struggling?

By helpful, you expect them to change your kid’s diapers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your family.

S/o- why are in laws always so unhelpful? It is the same with my in laws. Do they just not feel comfortable/obligated because it’s not their daughter that’s the mom that’s struggling?

By helpful, you expect them to change your kid’s diapers?

Yeah, why not? Family should help, if they physically can. New parents are in the toughest stage of life. I was always helped by my parents and older siblings/cousins, and I fully plan to pay it forward whenever my children have kids.