I understand this is a ridiculous first world problem to have, but

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your family’s cabin op. No question. Right now you need to prioritize support for yourself 100%. Another year when cousins are older that will be fun to do in laws

Ohh just saw the splitting up option and that might be a great one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your family’s cabin op. No question. Right now you need to prioritize support for yourself 100%. Another year when cousins are older that will be fun to do in laws

Ohh just saw the splitting up option and that might be a great one!

PP upthread with no kids. Agree that splitting up is perfect this year and it will be super fun for the kids in the future at the in laws. You have the best of both worlds in the future, if you are looking for a half-full approach!

[Anonymous]

Any chance your firends cabin has an extra room you can sleep in while spending your days with your family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your family.

S/o- why are in laws always so unhelpful? It is the same with my in laws. Do they just not feel comfortable/obligated because it’s not their daughter that’s the mom that’s struggling?

OP here. I think so. My in-laws only have sons and my SIL and I (so both their daughter-in-laws) are both generally really laid back and go-with-the-flow. We just kind of support each other as we can and never press the issue. In general, they are great in laws and I love them dearly, just different than my family for sure. Funny enough, my FIL is much more helpful and in-tune with our needs than my MIL. All of the grand kids literally run right past MIL and leap into FIL arms, seek him out to kiss their boo boos, want him to do pre-nap snuggles and stories when they are there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any chance your firends cabin has an extra room you can sleep in while spending your days with your family?

Ohhh another great suggestion. Friend's DH actually isn't going so maybe we could share the queen bed in her bedroom and have both of our babies in there. She is definitely this kind of ride-or-die friend and I am very close with her parents who she shares the cabin with. All though, if DH and toddler don't come with us, I could share my mom's bed and have baby in the pack n play in there with us.

You guys are seriously so helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your family.

S/o- why are in laws always so unhelpful? It is the same with my in laws. Do they just not feel comfortable/obligated because it’s not their daughter that’s the mom that’s struggling?

In defense of in laws, I have to say that our family dynamic is totally the opposite.

My mother is not only not helpful, she's the opposite of helpful. She makes everything so stressful, because she has all these rigid ideas about how things should go, and zero flexibility.

My in laws are amazing with my kids, and treat me like their own daughter.

[Anonymous]

Are you the one with a baby that screams all day and night? I'd not go anywhere and especially not make other people suffer with that. A huge con for anyone will be your baby screaming non-stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you the one with a baby that screams all day and night? I'd not go anywhere and especially not make other people suffer with that. A huge con for anyone will be your baby screaming non-stop.

Yes, I am. Both of our families know our baby girl and are aware of her crying.

[Anonymous]

Your family 100%. Not a close call.

[Anonymous]

Neither. I would stay home and chill.

Hire a house cleaner and get the house spotless for $200, and order take out.

Happiness.

You all are mad people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your family.

S/o- why are in laws always so unhelpful? It is the same with my in laws. Do they just not feel comfortable/obligated because it’s not their daughter that’s the mom that’s struggling?

In defense of in laws, I have to say that our family dynamic is totally the opposite.

My mother is not only not helpful, she's the opposite of helpful. She makes everything so stressful, because she has all these rigid ideas about how things should go, and zero flexibility.

My in laws are amazing with my kids, and treat me like their own daughter.

NP. Both of our families are helpful, but for my my family is a little more helpful because I'm more comfortable ordering them around lol. I ask my parents for exactly what I want and how I want it done, and they comply. I am not as comfortable micromanaging DH's parents and as a result they don't do things the way I want them to and are in my view less helpful. Also my parents are a little younger and better able to keep up with our 3 and 4yos (66 and 69 vs 70 and 77).

[Anonymous]

Rent an airbnb near your mom's place. Bring enough supplies so the kids can nap in mom's room during the day while you hang out with family.

Nobody at mom's place will give up a bedroom for you? I can't imagine making a new parent sleep in the living room alcove, that's miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Neither. I would stay home and chill.

Hire a house cleaner and get the house spotless for $200, and order take out.

Happiness.

You all are mad people.

Also, assuming her family and in-laws are wealthy (maybe it’s just me but I assume people with large summer homes have at least some wealth) I don’t understand why she’s so miserable without being able to afford childcare.

[Anonymous]

I also think split up. Husband and toddler go to his family a d you and baby go to your family. You will get the mental break you need, your kid will have their cousins and your husband will see his brother. Everyone is happy. We've all just spent a year together as a family. A break would be nice.

[Anonymous]

Your family or split up.