Car Dilemma

[Anonymous]

^^^ sorry, daughter (not son). My bad.

[Anonymous]

I went to VT and knew someone who died in a car accident on 81. I would not allow that drive to happen until he's proven he's more trustworthy.

Dad does not have to drive kid around. Kid can bike and take the bus. You can give rides as needed, if you want.

I would not buy another car if there is no remorse for causing an accident. I had a car in high school and I always knew that if I didn't drive carefully, there was no other car in my future.

[Anonymous]

No car. I feel like it’s a tricky time anyway. I have a senior also and I worry that when they’re out in the car they are going to smoke spots. So we are in a constant battle over whether DC can drive or not. Not having a car would make it a lot easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have feet and/or a bike?

Problem solved. Time for your DS to realize that actions have consequences, many of which are uncomfortable and/or inconvenient.

We're in the area where you need a car...Western Loudoun.

A. You didn't answer the question - does DC have two working legs? Access to a bicycle?

B. Define "need". A human is very capable of biking or walking long distances. Will it be convenient or fun? Perhaps not. But, again, there are consequences.

Now, if you want to be beholden to a teen who has to be shuttled around, that's your choice. Personally, if I even agreed to that, they would be on my schedule, no matter how inconvenient it was for them.

A. Yes, but we don't live on the bike trail and biking on a state highway is not safe.
B. Teenager works and it's about a 9-mile walk.

NP
Kid can bike the back roads or you deal with taking the kid to work or the kid pays for Uber or asks friends to drive or public transportation. So many options. I grew up in a somewhat rural area and there was no public transportation. I had several friends that walked or biked everywhere. We carpooled quite a bit. Any other need for transportation besides work/medical appts. is up to the kid to figure out. It sounds like you are fighting to get another car so you and Larlo aren't inconvenienced for a few months when you should be thinking instilling responsibility while you still have some impact on your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have feet and/or a bike?

Problem solved. Time for your DS to realize that actions have consequences, many of which are uncomfortable and/or inconvenient.

We're in the area where you need a car...Western Loudoun.

I would say, sucks to be you. You can come up with a plan to demonstrate that you understand how serious this incident was and how you will change to become a safe driver or you can stay home/rely on friends. I will offer rides when it's convenient to me, otherwise you are out of luck. If my kid could get to a place of responsibility where he said "I found this safe driving class online that I'm going to take and I commit to putting my phone in the backseat and never looking at it while the car is on, I would have more sympathy than I would if it was "Moommm why are you doing this toooo meeee."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us more about her job. How many days each week does she work? If driving her is too far for you, can you drop where there is public transportation. Worse case scenario, a job closer to home.

OP--Works at a restaurant and lifeguards as well. So, different hours on different days. She will be working almost every day this summer. We do not have reliable public transportation in LoCo....like none.

You are missing the point. By shuttling her around, you are simply rescuing her from the consequences of her poor choices. She should have to either a) find alternative transportation that may or may not include you/your husband, or b) find a job/jobs that are within walking/biking distance.

You are creating a human who is going to expect that others will solve all of her problems for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:was it the kids fault?

First incident no, second one YES/texting.

Then I would NOT buy the car or facilitate him/her driving without an adult as long as you are paying expenses. That is extremely dangerous.

[Anonymous]

How is this a dilemma? Your kid crashed a car while texting. Not only should thee not be a new car, the kid should not be allowed to drive any car without a lot of restrictions and taking a drivers safety course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he have feet and/or a bike?

Problem solved. Time for your DS to realize that actions have consequences, many of which are uncomfortable and/or inconvenient.

+1 And stand firm that you are not the Mommy Taxi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us more about her job. How many days each week does she work? If driving her is too far for you, can you drop where there is public transportation. Worse case scenario, a job closer to home.

OP--Works at a restaurant and lifeguards as well. So, different hours on different days. She will be working almost every day this summer. We do not have reliable public transportation in LoCo....like none.

You are missing the point. By shuttling her around, you are simply rescuing her from the consequences of her poor choices. She should have to either a) find alternative transportation that may or may not include you/your husband, or b) find a job/jobs that are within walking/biking distance.

You are creating a human who is going to expect that others will solve all of her problems for her.

You give them other consequences like working to pay for the deductible and other costs associated with the accident. Not giving them rides is not a good punishment.

[Anonymous]

Interesting -- I wonder if the PPs have teens and live in the DC area. OP, we also live where a car is needed (although in MD), and I would not buy another car although I definitely would drive my kid to/from work or allow them to use Uber for this. Traffic is crazy in the DMV and biking 9 miles each way may not be particularly safe. Also, just being realistic, if you are a MC/UMC family this is likely not going to happen...your DC probably would quit rather than bike to/from work. Just wanted to let you know that I understand that you are not making excuses. Sorry about the accident, glad your kid wasn't hurt, and focus on having a good last summer with your kid before they go to college!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HS Senior got into another accident and the car was declared a loss by our insurance company. DH wants to buy another vehicle, since he does not want to shuttle anyone around...he is done. I really don't think we need to buy another vehicle, since our senior is headed to college in August and it is a second car accident within a year. I do not believe there is any sense of responsibility or ownership on our teenagers' part. I am also not wanting another car and insurance expense. I believe we can remain car free until August and our child can rely on friends and us for transportation. Any ideas? What would you do?

How is this even a question? No. NO. N.O.

I'm also rather disgusted that your DH appears to put his own convenience above the safety of others, including your own child. You know he's not a safe driver, OP. WTF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have feet and/or a bike?

Problem solved. Time for your DS to realize that actions have consequences, many of which are uncomfortable and/or inconvenient.

We're in the area where you need a car...Western Loudoun.

too bad, so sad.

Again, WTF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have feet and/or a bike?

Problem solved. Time for your DS to realize that actions have consequences, many of which are uncomfortable and/or inconvenient.

We're in the area where you need a car...Western Loudoun.

A. You didn't answer the question - does DC have two working legs? Access to a bicycle?

B. Define "need". A human is very capable of biking or walking long distances. Will it be convenient or fun? Perhaps not. But, again, there are consequences.

Now, if you want to be beholden to a teen who has to be shuttled around, that's your choice. Personally, if I even agreed to that, they would be on my schedule, no matter how inconvenient it was for them.

A. Yes, but we don't live on the bike trail and biking on a state highway is not safe.
B. Teenager works and it's about a 9-mile walk.

a 9 mile bike ride isn't long and texting and driving isn't safe either

9-mile bike ride is long if you get off work after 10pm.

then I guess he calls an Uber or a parent goes to pick him up.

Sorry to keep saying this but WTF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting -- I wonder if the PPs have teens and live in the DC area. OP, we also live where a car is needed (although in MD), and I would not buy another car although I definitely would drive my kid to/from work or allow them to use Uber for this. Traffic is crazy in the DMV and biking 9 miles each way may not be particularly safe. Also, just being realistic, if you are a MC/UMC family this is likely not going to happen...your DC probably would quit rather than bike to/from work. Just wanted to let you know that I understand that you are not making excuses. Sorry about the accident, glad your kid wasn't hurt, and focus on having a good last summer with your kid before they go to college!

JFC. Yes, I have/have had teens (my kids are 18 and 23). Yes, I live in the DC area but I grew up in a rural area and did not have my license until I was 18. My parents drove me where I needed to go, or I rode my bike, or I had a friend pick me up. The end.

I don't care where this kid lives, she was TEXTING WHILE DRIVING and CAUSED AN ACCIDENT. Anyone suggesting she should be immediately back behind the wheel should have their head examined.

Also, I don't know what kind of spoiled brats you people are raising, but in high school/college, my UMC kids bike, walk, or ride the bus to their jobs, or DH or I drop them off. They don't have a car at their disposal. They certainly do not "insist" on driving one of our cars and quit their jobs in protest if they don't get to. (Actually they are free to quit their jobs at any time, but they aren't getting spending money from me.)