Car Dilemma

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have feet and/or a bike?

Problem solved. Time for your DS to realize that actions have consequences, many of which are uncomfortable and/or inconvenient.

We're in the area where you need a car...Western Loudoun.

A. You didn't answer the question - does DC have two working legs? Access to a bicycle?

B. Define "need". A human is very capable of biking or walking long distances. Will it be convenient or fun? Perhaps not. But, again, there are consequences.

Now, if you want to be beholden to a teen who has to be shuttled around, that's your choice. Personally, if I even agreed to that, they would be on my schedule, no matter how inconvenient it was for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have feet and/or a bike?

Problem solved. Time for your DS to realize that actions have consequences, many of which are uncomfortable and/or inconvenient.

We're in the area where you need a car...Western Loudoun.

A. You didn't answer the question - does DC have two working legs? Access to a bicycle?

B. Define "need". A human is very capable of biking or walking long distances. Will it be convenient or fun? Perhaps not. But, again, there are consequences.

Now, if you want to be beholden to a teen who has to be shuttled around, that's your choice. Personally, if I even agreed to that, they would be on my schedule, no matter how inconvenient it was for them.

A. Yes, but we don't live on the bike trail and biking on a state highway is not safe.
B. Teenager works and it's about a 9-mile walk.

[Anonymous]

DS got in an accident and was at fault...not because he was texting or speeding but he was turning so at fault. We did not replace the car. It has been almost a year. At times I feel badly for him but someone was hurt, there had to a consequence.

[Anonymous]

We allowed ours to buy his own car. He pays his share of insurance. He has limits as to what he is permitted to use the car for. We did not buy another vehicle. He can take the bus if he is t happy staying home.

[Anonymous]

I would not get him another car. I grew up in a very rural area and knew plenty of kids who didn't have their own car. They got rides from friends more than their parents. I was one of the kids with a car (also old for my grade so got my license first) and I remember driving ALL OVER to pick-up/drop off friends for school, practices, football games, parties, etc.

He can Uber and pay for it himself if he can't find a free ride.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have feet and/or a bike?

Problem solved. Time for your DS to realize that actions have consequences, many of which are uncomfortable and/or inconvenient.

We're in the area where you need a car...Western Loudoun.

A. You didn't answer the question - does DC have two working legs? Access to a bicycle?

B. Define "need". A human is very capable of biking or walking long distances. Will it be convenient or fun? Perhaps not. But, again, there are consequences.

Now, if you want to be beholden to a teen who has to be shuttled around, that's your choice. Personally, if I even agreed to that, they would be on my schedule, no matter how inconvenient it was for them.

A. Yes, but we don't live on the bike trail and biking on a state highway is not safe.
B. Teenager works and it's about a 9-mile walk.

a 9 mile bike ride isn't long and texting and driving isn't safe either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have feet and/or a bike?

Problem solved. Time for your DS to realize that actions have consequences, many of which are uncomfortable and/or inconvenient.

We're in the area where you need a car...Western Loudoun.

A. You didn't answer the question - does DC have two working legs? Access to a bicycle?

B. Define "need". A human is very capable of biking or walking long distances. Will it be convenient or fun? Perhaps not. But, again, there are consequences.

Now, if you want to be beholden to a teen who has to be shuttled around, that's your choice. Personally, if I even agreed to that, they would be on my schedule, no matter how inconvenient it was for them.

A. Yes, but we don't live on the bike trail and biking on a state highway is not safe.
B. Teenager works and it's about a 9-mile walk.

a 9 mile bike ride isn't long and texting and driving isn't safe either

9-mile bike ride is long if you get off work after 10pm.

[Anonymous]

No way. Two accidents already and the second one because he was texting? Listen I get it, driving kids around is a pain, but he has most definitely not shown of himself to be a reliable driver and certainly doesn’t need to be rewarded by having you buy him another car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HS Senior got into another accident and the car was declared a loss by our insurance company. DH wants to buy another vehicle, since he does not want to shuttle anyone around...he is done. I really don't think we need to buy another vehicle, since our senior is headed to college in August and it is a second car accident within a year. I do not believe there is any sense of responsibility or ownership on our teenagers' part. I am also not wanting another car and insurance expense. I believe we can remain car free until August and our child can rely on friends and us for transportation. Any ideas? What would you do?

I would do the shuttling. That's the consequence. If the kid needs independence then s/he can put some $$ toward a new one. Not necessarily pay for a whole car, but put enough that s/he feels ownership and may be more careful.

[Anonymous]

I had a car accident when I was 17. My parents refused to drive me anywhere, I could bike or walk or get a ride with friends. the car was not totaled but took 6 weeks to be repaired.

I would not buy a new car. Your son can find other people to get him places or he can walk, ride a bike, or take public transportation. If he wants a car, he can buy one on his own and pay for his own insurance.

The texting while driving would be the main reason. Accidents happen but I would argue that driving while texting is not an accident because he made a deliberate choice to text while driving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS got in an accident and was at fault...not because he was texting or speeding but he was turning so at fault. We did not replace the car. It has been almost a year. At times I feel badly for him but someone was hurt, there had to a consequence.

As someone who (at 18) caused a car accident that hurt someone else, I agree with this. The loss of a car, and the need to take a bus to college each day, provided ample time for reflection for me to understand the real consequences of getting into a car accident. Driver safety has been a huge focus of mine ever since. I assume most kids will get into car accidents, and we hope they are never serious. But natural and logical consequences like the loss of a car are helpful to change future behavior and make everyone safer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have feet and/or a bike?

Problem solved. Time for your DS to realize that actions have consequences, many of which are uncomfortable and/or inconvenient.

We're in the area where you need a car...Western Loudoun.

Then he can pay for an Uber if he can’t get a ride with friends.

Seriously—he was texting while driving and had an accident? Then he either gives up the car or the phone. Clearly he’s not responsible enough to have both.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. He can uber or bus or get a ride with friends. Or you can drive him. Just be sure to put on music he hates and sing. Do not make the experience comfortable for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he have feet and/or a bike?

Problem solved. Time for your DS to realize that actions have consequences, many of which are uncomfortable and/or inconvenient.

We're in the area where you need a car...Western Loudoun.

A. You didn't answer the question - does DC have two working legs? Access to a bicycle?

B. Define "need". A human is very capable of biking or walking long distances. Will it be convenient or fun? Perhaps not. But, again, there are consequences.

Now, if you want to be beholden to a teen who has to be shuttled around, that's your choice. Personally, if I even agreed to that, they would be on my schedule, no matter how inconvenient it was for them.

A. Yes, but we don't live on the bike trail and biking on a state highway is not safe.
B. Teenager works and it's about a 9-mile walk.

a 9 mile bike ride isn't long and texting and driving isn't safe either

9-mile bike ride is long if you get off work after 10pm.

You keep making excuses, instead of using this as an opportunity to have your child learn that texting and driving has potentially serious consequences and ought to be treated as such.

But, go ahead and shuttle your kid around so that they learn that someone will always be there to rescue them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids who text and drive shouldn't get another car. I know it's an inconvenience, but texting and driving could have deadly consequences.

This. Especially after having one accident. He or she should've wised up.