How often do you allow your teen to get their nails done? Do you allow Gel/tips? Highlight hair?

[Anonymous]

My 13 yr old has dark brown hair, thick eyebrows, and a very dark lip. She asked to get some of the hair the removed so I take her with me to get waxed. If she wants a mani/pedi, she’ll tag along with me.

As for her hair, she loves to cut it in fun styles and dye it. It’s just hair. I don’t care what she does with it. Currently one side is shoulder length and the other side is above the ear. She has pink coloring throughout. He head has been 2 colors, lime green, orange, and bright blue. She wants 1/2 and 1/2 for her next color.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen gets high lights as needed. Mani/pedi once a week with me. We also go together for bikini waxes.

I don’t see the big deal.

Meaning, when her roots grow in.

I have to get my roots done every two weeks because I’m m going gray but she can go a lot longer in between visits to get her color blended. Like 6-8 weeks?

[Anonymous]

As for why, my thought is: why not? I only have 1 daughter (2 other kids are boys) and it is fun for me to pamper her like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
None of these things on a regular basis, specifically because nail salons have too much carcinogenic fumes floating around, and because too much hair dye damages hair and potentially also has long-term toxicity. If either of these were perfectly safe, I wouldn't mind at all.

Fertility has been decreasing for years, PP.
Perhaps it has to do with all the chemicals we’re surrounded by. It’s best for growing bodies, who are more susceptible to toxins, to avoid such non-essential things like nail salons and permanent hair dye.

Don't worry, there are plenty of humans. We are not going extinct anytime soon!

Do you want YOUR daughter struggling with infertility, or diagnosed with hormone-based disorders, or at increased risk of cancer?

I honestly don’t understand why people think infertility is such a tragedy. Too many people on this planet anyway.

[Anonymous]

In high school I allow my teen to determine how to care for her hair and nails. She pays for her own nail services through savings. I pay for cuts, and she's had highlights or at home dye kits.

All complete fine for 14-18. It's time to let them grow up a bit. Nails and hair grow back.

[Anonymous]

For me, it's not about the nails or hair, it's about grownup expenses.

Now is the time for teenagers to learn how to do their own nails and hair however they want, but not to pay others a huge amount of money in the DC metro to do it for them.

I pay for haircuts (whatever they want) and once they start making their own money, they can decide whether they want to spend it on salon highlights or salon nails or something else.

I'm trying to save for college. Not keep salons in business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me, it's not about the nails or hair, it's about grownup expenses.

Now is the time for teenagers to learn how to do their own nails and hair however they want, but not to pay others a huge amount of money in the DC metro to do it for them.

I pay for haircuts (whatever they want) and once they start making their own money, they can decide whether they want to spend it on salon highlights or salon nails or something else.

I'm trying to save for college. Not keep salons in business.

A 'grown up expense' is a mortgage or health insurance. Nail and hair are discretionary at any age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, it's not about the nails or hair, it's about grownup expenses.

Now is the time for teenagers to learn how to do their own nails and hair however they want, but not to pay others a huge amount of money in the DC metro to do it for them.

I pay for haircuts (whatever they want) and once they start making their own money, they can decide whether they want to spend it on salon highlights or salon nails or something else.

I'm trying to save for college. Not keep salons in business.

A 'grown up expense' is a mortgage or health insurance. Nail and hair are discretionary at any age.

Nope. Kids and others can get addicted to looking a certain way, and almost be unable to stop if they can't learn how to do it themselves.

I have family members in this situation--they will try to beg me for money because they don't have enough to buy gas or pay for food, but they have plenty of money for nails and tattoos. I don't give them money, because they can learn to do their own nails just like I did in high school. It's a great skill to have when your financial situation may change.

Teaching my girls how to do what they want to do to their own appearance, so that when they start earning their own money they can decide for themselves what to spend it on. With the exception of haircuts, which takes more skill. Most men aren't locked into this sort of expense cycle. It doesn't make any sense to lock my girls into it either.

Never forget when I went to college, and my friends from the DC metro were amazed I could do my own manicure and paint my nails in record time. I was there on scholarship, so didn't have the money to go to the spa non stop like they did.

[Anonymous]

I pay for haircuts and occasional manicures and pedicures. I don't pay for color/highlights or gel manicures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In high school I allow my teen to determine how to care for her hair and nails. She pays for her own nail services through savings. I pay for cuts, and she's had highlights or at home dye kits.

All complete fine for 14-18. It's time to let them grow up a bit. Nails and hair grow back.

And when your teen wants or car or goes to college but has no money for food and rent saved because they blew it all on salon services over the past 5 yrs are you going to swoop in and cover the cost or let your teen/young adult drop out, work for a while and accumulate some savings to cover these expenses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, it's not about the nails or hair, it's about grownup expenses.

Now is the time for teenagers to learn how to do their own nails and hair however they want, but not to pay others a huge amount of money in the DC metro to do it for them.

I pay for haircuts (whatever they want) and once they start making their own money, they can decide whether they want to spend it on salon highlights or salon nails or something else.

I'm trying to save for college. Not keep salons in business.

A 'grown up expense' is a mortgage or health insurance. Nail and hair are discretionary at any age.

Nope. Kids and others can get addicted to looking a certain way, and almost be unable to stop if they can't learn how to do it themselves.

I have family members in this situation--they will try to beg me for money because they don't have enough to buy gas or pay for food, but they have plenty of money for nails and tattoos. I don't give them money, because they can learn to do their own nails just like I did in high school. It's a great skill to have when your financial situation may change.

Teaching my girls how to do what they want to do to their own appearance, so that when they start earning their own money they can decide for themselves what to spend it on. With the exception of haircuts, which takes more skill. Most men aren't locked into this sort of expense cycle. It doesn't make any sense to lock my girls into it either.

Never forget when I went to college, and my friends from the DC metro were amazed I could do my own manicure and paint my nails in record time. I was there on scholarship, so didn't have the money to go to the spa non stop like they did.

This. If you start this stuff too young, you are more likely to end up being stuck paying for these things, which can get quite expensive. And women already have to pay more, for more of this kind of stuff. No need to start it early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In high school I allow my teen to determine how to care for her hair and nails. She pays for her own nail services through savings. I pay for cuts, and she's had highlights or at home dye kits.

All complete fine for 14-18. It's time to let them grow up a bit. Nails and hair grow back.

And when your teen wants or car or goes to college but has no money for food and rent saved because they blew it all on salon services over the past 5 yrs are you going to swoop in and cover the cost or let your teen/young adult drop out, work for a while and accumulate some savings to cover these expenses?

I actually do have one in college. I pay for his dorm, food plan, tuition, books & fees. He's going to cover the cost of anything else. I expect the same when my daughter is in college. Who drops out of college because of a gel manicure? In fact my teen daughter has purchased her own gel manicure kit so she can do them at home.

I don't expect my teens to save every single dollar. Generally we have them save 50% of a pay check direct deposited into savings, 50% into checking/debit so they buy items, go out to dinner with friends (non-covid times), etc.

A reasonable compromise without trying to control every decision or dollar.

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine to limit how often you'll pay for a manicure, maybe instead of linking it only to special occasions you say you'll treat her to something like 5 manicures a year, and if she wants gel or any extra manis she'll have to pay for that on her own (and maybe treat to a gel for her birthday).

Highlights and stuff like that are a whole other thing in my opinion, because that is way more expensive and damaging. I think you're find to just say no to that for a 13yo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, it's not about the nails or hair, it's about grownup expenses.

Now is the time for teenagers to learn how to do their own nails and hair however they want, but not to pay others a huge amount of money in the DC metro to do it for them.

I pay for haircuts (whatever they want) and once they start making their own money, they can decide whether they want to spend it on salon highlights or salon nails or something else.

I'm trying to save for college. Not keep salons in business.

A 'grown up expense' is a mortgage or health insurance. Nail and hair are discretionary at any age.

Nope. Kids and others can get addicted to looking a certain way, and almost be unable to stop if they can't learn how to do it themselves.

I have family members in this situation--they will try to beg me for money because they don't have enough to buy gas or pay for food, but they have plenty of money for nails and tattoos. I don't give them money, because they can learn to do their own nails just like I did in high school. It's a great skill to have when your financial situation may change.

Teaching my girls how to do what they want to do to their own appearance, so that when they start earning their own money they can decide for themselves what to spend it on. With the exception of haircuts, which takes more skill. Most men aren't locked into this sort of expense cycle. It doesn't make any sense to lock my girls into it either.

Never forget when I went to college, and my friends from the DC metro were amazed I could do my own manicure and paint my nails in record time. I was there on scholarship, so didn't have the money to go to the spa non stop like they did.

This. If you start this stuff too young, you are more likely to end up being stuck paying for these things, which can get quite expensive. And women already have to pay more, for more of this kind of stuff. No need to start it early.

I agree. It you start it too early, it's going to be quite a shock to the young adult when they have to start paying for all these services, unless you plan to pay for them for the rest of their lives.

I'm fine with however they want to paint their nails and do their hair, they just need to learn how to do it now, while they still have free time to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, it's not about the nails or hair, it's about grownup expenses.

Now is the time for teenagers to learn how to do their own nails and hair however they want, but not to pay others a huge amount of money in the DC metro to do it for them.

I pay for haircuts (whatever they want) and once they start making their own money, they can decide whether they want to spend it on salon highlights or salon nails or something else.

I'm trying to save for college. Not keep salons in business.

A 'grown up expense' is a mortgage or health insurance. Nail and hair are discretionary at any age.

Nope. Kids and others can get addicted to looking a certain way, and almost be unable to stop if they can't learn how to do it themselves.

I have family members in this situation--they will try to beg me for money because they don't have enough to buy gas or pay for food, but they have plenty of money for nails and tattoos. I don't give them money, because they can learn to do their own nails just like I did in high school. It's a great skill to have when your financial situation may change.

Teaching my girls how to do what they want to do to their own appearance, so that when they start earning their own money they can decide for themselves what to spend it on. With the exception of haircuts, which takes more skill. Most men aren't locked into this sort of expense cycle. It doesn't make any sense to lock my girls into it either.

Never forget when I went to college, and my friends from the DC metro were amazed I could do my own manicure and paint my nails in record time. I was there on scholarship, so didn't have the money to go to the spa non stop like they did.

This. If you start this stuff too young, you are more likely to end up being stuck paying for these things, which can get quite expensive. And women already have to pay more, for more of this kind of stuff. No need to start it early.

I agree. It you start it too early, it's going to be quite a shock to the young adult when they have to start paying for all these services, unless you plan to pay for them for the rest of their lives.

I'm fine with however they want to paint their nails and do their hair, they just need to learn how to do it now, while they still have free time to do so.

While I agree knowing how to do your nails and hair is a good skill to have, the behavior your are describing is disordered. The solution is not to address the symptom - the obsession with getting nails/hair professionally done - but the inability to regulate consumption.

Many posters on this thread have indicated their kids pay for their nails/hair color so there will be no surprise about the cost. When they have additional 'grown up expenses' like a mortgage and health insurance and fewer discretionary funds, they can scale back, as any responsible person would. It wouldn't just be the loss or reduction of their nails/hair money but also their Starbucks money, their shoe money, their cosmetics money, their restaurant money, etc. Don't know why you're focused on nails/hair. It's not like nails/hair are a 'gateway' to unbridled, uncontrolled indulgence.