15 year old doesn’t want braces

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she not want them because of the way they look? I'm not saying you should let her go without for that reason, but I sympathize with a teenager not wanting the look of braces in HS when most of her peers are done with that. Is Invisalign or clear braces an option?

I was going to suggest Invisalign as well.

We got a consultation for braces for my kid when she was 12 (which I thought was the magic number for braces) and asked about what kind to get - traditional metal or Invisalign etc. The orthodontist told us that that there was no rush to get it done early other than the fact that in middle school it is easier socially, because "almost everyone" has braces and he also pointed out that the old school metal kind was like a right of passage. (And it was true; about half of my kids' friends had braces during 6-9th grade). I definitely understand not wanting them at age 15, because my now 14 year old cannot wait to get them off before high school. She also wears glasses and has acne, so is excited to start wearing contacts and we are already working on getting the acne cleared up.

This age is tough, and I would want to make it as easy as possible for my kid. SHe will have enough other hurdles to get over, that I won't be able to help with.

What about braces on the inside of the teeth so you can’t see them? They’re the traditional kind that can’t be removed, but not really visible. My daughter just started with her braces (Invisalign) but that was one of our options.


Invisalign is a no-go, due to the anorexia. ☹️

Are those the ones called lingual braces? Honestly, though sound excruciatingly painful to me. We want the least impact on eating possible. She has a small mouth, so I don’t know that would work.

I had been looking at Damon braces - they are supposed to be a bit less painful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she not want them because of the way they look? I'm not saying you should let her go without for that reason, but I sympathize with a teenager not wanting the look of braces in HS when most of her peers are done with that. Is Invisalign or clear braces an option?

I was going to suggest Invisalign as well.

We got a consultation for braces for my kid when she was 12 (which I thought was the magic number for braces) and asked about what kind to get - traditional metal or Invisalign etc. The orthodontist told us that that there was no rush to get it done early other than the fact that in middle school it is easier socially, because "almost everyone" has braces and he also pointed out that the old school metal kind was like a right of passage. (And it was true; about half of my kids' friends had braces during 6-9th grade). I definitely understand not wanting them at age 15, because my now 14 year old cannot wait to get them off before high school. She also wears glasses and has acne, so is excited to start wearing contacts and we are already working on getting the acne cleared up.

This age is tough, and I would want to make it as easy as possible for my kid. SHe will have enough other hurdles to get over, that I won't be able to help with.

What about braces on the inside of the teeth so you can’t see them? They’re the traditional kind that can’t be removed, but not really visible. My daughter just started with her braces (Invisalign) but that was one of our options.


Invisalign is a no-go, due to the anorexia. ☹️

Are those the ones called lingual braces? Honestly, though sound excruciatingly painful to me. We want the least impact on eating possible. She has a small mouth, so I don’t know that would work.

I had been looking at Damon braces - they are supposed to be a bit less painful.

That might be what they were called, I honestly cannot remember as she was set on Invisalign. Our son had traditional metal braces, but he never had issues with them (never used the wax to put on the brackets). No matter which version they get, they’ll still have pain when the teeth get adjusted. I know the last set of Invisalign were really hurting her for the first couple of days. She also had a major meltdown when she first got them that she couldn’t get her bottom set out (due to the number of “brackets” that were holding them on).

[Anonymous]

This just isn't that important, OP. Why waste time and energy on this when you both have other more important things to deal with?

She can get braces whenever. I wouldn't threaten with not paying for it if she doesn't do it now, in part because she's too young to realize what this means, but also because this is, at base, something you want to do gout her. Assuming you have the means, why would you do this for her only if she's 15 but not if she's 18 or 21?

I say this as someone who has had a child with anorexia. And I'm also someone who had crooked teeth and finally got braces at age 51.

[Anonymous]

Something you want to do *for* her. Not gout. Damn autocorrect.

[Anonymous]

As an adult who's had invisalign, I have to agree that they would be a terrible idea for someone with anorexia. Perhaps people can read the thread and stop suggesting them.

[Anonymous]

I would be torn between letting her have her way (and saving some money and a lot of effort) as all this fixation on orthodontia is just a consumerism thing, American pop culture fashion... and telling her in no uncertain terms that she couldn't get them before because she was sick and it's none of my fault, and I don't need any more drama and problems and she has to just get them, period.
Maybe it's a good idea to consult with a really good specialist.

[Anonymous]

Has anyone suggested lingual braces yet? Or are those also contraindicated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For numerous reasons, we were not able to do it when she was younger. Now we can. I told her I thought this summer was a good time to start. She practically started shaking, telling me she was absolutely not having braces in high school, I had my chance when she was younger (no, it was not possible for us at that time), and she will just live with the teeth she has.

This is nonsense, right? Teens don’t just get to decide they don’t get braces? Or is this a natural consequences thing. You get braces now and we pay for them, or you pay yourself if you want them later.

She has very high anxiety (gets treatment) and she’s bull-headed. It is a tough combination!

Are you serious???

[Anonymous]

I get where you are coming from but a lot of anorexia treatment actually focuses on the teen NOT having an iron grip of control in everything. Anorexics tend to be control hounds and it is not helpful to indulge that tendency

That may be true. But you are talking about forcing a cosmetic change that involves a very long period of treatment that is painful and that she anticipates will make her anxiety worse. That is not the kind of taking away control that treatment focuses on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be torn between letting her have her way (and saving some money and a lot of effort) as all this fixation on orthodontia is just a consumerism thing, American pop culture fashion... and telling her in no uncertain terms that she couldn't get them before because she was sick and it's none of my fault, and I don't need any more drama and problems and she has to just get them, period.
Maybe it's a good idea to consult with a really good specialist.

WHY are these the choices? Why must she have braces this minute or not at all? Why would you blame your child for being too sick to get braces when she was younger?

The responses to this post are insane. Anorexia is an illness, not a lifestyle choice. And unless there is a medical issue, there is no imperative to get braces. Braces are a cosmetic procedure that can be performed later. Would people be insisting that OP should force her teen to get a nose job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a similar reaction in high school. In my case, everyone else had them when we were younger. I eventually realized how my teeth looked compared to others, especially after someone made a "joking" remark about my teeth, and I finally got them senior year in college. How I wish I had forced my younger self to have gotten them as early as possible in high school.

I could have written this post. Same exact scenario, although I didn't get braces until graduate school.

[Anonymous]

^ adding on, the benefit of this was that I went in knowing I wanted braces and paid for them myself. The negative was that I have lasting jaw issues and have to wear a retainer permanently because of how set my teeth were in the gums having waited so long for orthodontics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ adding on, the benefit of this was that I went in knowing I wanted braces and paid for them myself. The negative was that I have lasting jaw issues and have to wear a retainer permanently because of how set my teeth were in the gums having waited so long for orthodontics.

The reality is that most people should wear their retainers for life. Just check out all the middle- aged people with teeth that have shifted despite having braces as children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does she not want them because of the way they look? I'm not saying you should let her go without for that reason, but I sympathize with a teenager not wanting the look of braces in HS when most of her peers are done with that. Is Invisalign or clear braces an option?

I’m sure it’s because of the way they look. She’s a freshman, and her best friend just got them 6 months ago. I don’t know what she’d think about clear braces. I personally think they look like crusty teeth.

She couldn’t get them when she was younger because she had anorexia. She is now far enough into recovery (which I have pulled her through, kicking and screaming) to allow braces. Invisalign is contraindicated with anorexia, unfortunately.

Believe me, I wish we could have done them earlier. I feel like she should do them now (like, even asking to start now instead of waiting), with the idea that they’d be off before senior year.

With her history I don't think I'd force it, but that's just me. Put the money aside each month that you'd be paying for braces and let her decide when she's older. You know your kid best, but she might agree to it if there's not a struggle around it. Just the money is there, we think this would enhance your quality of life in the long run, and then leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For numerous reasons, we were not able to do it when she was younger. Now we can. I told her I thought this summer was a good time to start. She practically started shaking, telling me she was absolutely not having braces in high school, I had my chance when she was younger (no, it was not possible for us at that time), and she will just live with the teeth she has.

This is nonsense, right? Teens don’t just get to decide they don’t get braces? Or is this a natural consequences thing. You get braces now and we pay for them, or you pay yourself if you want them later.

She has very high anxiety (gets treatment) and she’s bull-headed. It is a tough combination!

Are you serious???

Totally agree. Drop this OP. It is not worth it. Drop it. Please.