I hate being a parent right now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know not everyone is in the same boat, but here is what I have done to make life more bearable this past year:

1. Exercise - take long walks and weight training
2. Eat healthy - lot of veggies and eating with intention
3. Take care of any health issues - don't put aside visiting doctors
4. Set goals for projects around the house - that way I feel a sense of accomplishment
5. Get to know my neighbors better and hang out outside where it is much safer - we have done lots of this for a year and it's been a lifesaver
6. Touch base with family - we have done a lot of Facetime and for local family, outside with masks around a firepit
7. Plan for "after" - even if we don't know when after might actually be, make some mental plans to look forward to
8. Spend dedicated time with the kids - really enjoy the time together because it is fleeting
9. Pursue hobbies
10. Subscribe to a meal kit plan - this has been a lifesaver from having to cook the same things over and over again

Mom of 2 kids; DH and I both work from home.

I know you mean well but hearing "exercise and eat well" after a year of DROWNING EVERY SINGLE DAY makes me want to reach through the screen and smack you silly.

I barely get to go to the bathroom alone. You think I am eating with intention or weight training?!!! I am an angry soft dumpling of a person right now, who is slowly being pecked to death by pigeons (my children).

Watch SNL from last weekend (Nick Jonas) b/c every scenario was a something I complained about THAT WEEK down to the Muppets. Made me feel like the struggle is universal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely hate parenting as of January 2021. I did my best the rest of this pandemic, but Im tapped out. I have nothing left to give my kids in terms of attention, entertainment, school help. Nothing.

NP here. SAME. I have had a breakdown every weekend for 4 weekends now - this morning is the 4th. I cannot take this any longer. I am so angry with my 10 yo, who I know is struggling. I feel like DH undermines me with parenting. I am tired of preparing meals, ordering out, having nowhere to go. I hope it's the weather that has gotten to me, and that I can come up with this. But honestly, I'm wondering what the minimum is that would be required to get me locked up in a mental hospital for a week. Drug me, put me in a bed. I don't effing care.

And yes, I'm seeing a therapist. Kids are in therapy. DH is in therapy. It feels like an effing disaster around here.

I am the OP and I am sending you a huge hug. You are not alone!!

Thanks OP. I'm the one who posted this morning. I've tried disappearing... they find me. Every time I leave, they ask where I went.

What's getting me now is that I can't reliably trust my 10 year old to make any good decisions. It's like she has completely devolved to a 3 year old who tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants immediately. Some of this, I'm sure is due to Covid, and being without consistent structure, not seeing friends. Some is due to both DH and I working and needing uninterrupted time - so we quickly gave up reasonable hope of controlling screen time. Unfortunately that has come back to bite us in the ass. We have some controls in place, but when you are 5 min out from a client or board call and she is screaming, it's nearly impossible not to give in. She has us by the cajones. I am so effing angry the kids aren't in school. We are FCPS, so... soon. But dammit, I need 5 days. This is insane.

And no, I do not need or want a lecture about how school is not daycare. I cannot do my job well when my kid is home. And yes, my employer and boss are empathetic.

[Anonymous]

I know not everyone is in the same boat, but here is what I have done to make life more bearable this past year:

1. Exercise - take long walks and weight training
2. Eat healthy - lot of veggies and eating with intention
3. Take care of any health issues - don't put aside visiting doctors
4. Set goals for projects around the house - that way I feel a sense of accomplishment
5. Get to know my neighbors better and hang out outside where it is much safer - we have done lots of this for a year and it's been a lifesaver
6. Touch base with family - we have done a lot of Facetime and for local family, outside with masks around a firepit
7. Plan for "after" - even if we don't know when after might actually be, make some mental plans to look forward to
8. Spend dedicated time with the kids - really enjoy the time together because it is fleeting
9. Pursue hobbies
10. Subscribe to a meal kit plan - this has been a lifesaver from having to cook the same things over and over again

Mom of 2 kids; DH and I both work from home.

I know you mean well but hearing "exercise and eat well" after a year of DROWNING EVERY SINGLE DAY makes me want to reach through the screen and smack you silly.

I barely get to go to the bathroom alone. You think I am eating with intention or weight training?!!! I am an angry soft dumpling of a person right now, who is slowly being pecked to death by pigeons (my children).

Ha, this is DCUM "gold." Me too.

Though earlier PP, I liked your list too. It's a nice reminder of what I should/could be doing (but probably won't ).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I know not everyone is in the same boat, but here is what I have done to make life more bearable this past year:

1. Exercise - take long walks and weight training
2. Eat healthy - lot of veggies and eating with intention
3. Take care of any health issues - don't put aside visiting doctors
4. Set goals for projects around the house - that way I feel a sense of accomplishment
5. Get to know my neighbors better and hang out outside where it is much safer - we have done lots of this for a year and it's been a lifesaver
6. Touch base with family - we have done a lot of Facetime and for local family, outside with masks around a firepit
7. Plan for "after" - even if we don't know when after might actually be, make some mental plans to look forward to
8. Spend dedicated time with the kids - really enjoy the time together because it is fleeting
9. Pursue hobbies
10. Subscribe to a meal kit plan - this has been a lifesaver from having to cook the same things over and over again

Mom of 2 kids; DH and I both work from home.

I know you mean well but hearing "exercise and eat well" after a year of DROWNING EVERY SINGLE DAY makes me want to reach through the screen and smack you silly.

I barely get to go to the bathroom alone. You think I am eating with intention or weight training?!!! I am an angry soft dumpling of a person right now, who is slowly being pecked to death by pigeons (my children).

Ha, this is DCUM "gold." Me too.

Though earlier PP, I liked your list too. It's a nice reminder of what I should/could be doing (but probably won't ).

Agree to both. The issue for most of us is that we don't have TIME to do any of these things we are supposed to be doing, and when we do have just a moment, we are so emotionally freaked out and overwhelmed that we do exactly what we aren't supposed to do - eat, drink, stay up too late, watch TV.

[Anonymous]

I know not everyone is in the same boat, but here is what I have done to make life more bearable this past year:

1. Exercise - take long walks and weight training
2. Eat healthy - lot of veggies and eating with intention
3. Take care of any health issues - don't put aside visiting doctors
4. Set goals for projects around the house - that way I feel a sense of accomplishment
5. Get to know my neighbors better and hang out outside where it is much safer - we have done lots of this for a year and it's been a lifesaver
6. Touch base with family - we have done a lot of Facetime and for local family, outside with masks around a firepit
7. Plan for "after" - even if we don't know when after might actually be, make some mental plans to look forward to
8. Spend dedicated time with the kids - really enjoy the time together because it is fleeting
9. Pursue hobbies
10. Subscribe to a meal kit plan - this has been a lifesaver from having to cook the same things over and over again

Mom of 2 kids; DH and I both work from home.

I know you mean well but hearing "exercise and eat well" after a year of DROWNING EVERY SINGLE DAY makes me want to reach through the screen and smack you silly.

I barely get to go to the bathroom alone. You think I am eating with intention or weight training?!!! I am an angry soft dumpling of a person right now, who is slowly being pecked to death by pigeons (my children).

Ha, this is DCUM "gold." Me too.

Though earlier PP, I liked your list too. It's a nice reminder of what I should/could be doing (but probably won't ).

Agree to both. The issue for most of us is that we don't have TIME to do any of these things we are supposed to be doing, and when we do have just a moment, we are so emotionally freaked out and overwhelmed that we do exactly what we aren't supposed to do - eat, drink, stay up too late, watch TV.

OMG this is so true. I often think I would make a great case study for "everything you can do wrong to undermine your (otherwise functional) life." I finally managed to cut back on the drinking but the biggest addiction of all seems to be "staying up too late"--and I don't even do anything particularly entertaining, just scrolling, browsing online, puttering around, and then its 1 am. The next day, I am of course unable to really tackle anything or be a proactive parent, things stay dysfunctional, and the cycle begins again.

[Anonymous]

When I think back to the early days of the pandemic, I think of baking, crafts, games, and lots of together time. A year in, my creative energy is just gone. Our area in the Midwest went back to normal some time ago, but our family of 5 remains locked down due to the medical complexity of one of my kids. It feels like we’re on our own island watching the world go on without us. The thought that vaccines may not be available for my kid that desperately needs one until 2022 is so disheartening. I want to go in a store, let my kids have a playdate, go on a date with my husband, have a few minutes where someone isn’t asking me for something. I’m just so tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I know not everyone is in the same boat, but here is what I have done to make life more bearable this past year:

1. Exercise - take long walks and weight training
2. Eat healthy - lot of veggies and eating with intention
3. Take care of any health issues - don't put aside visiting doctors
4. Set goals for projects around the house - that way I feel a sense of accomplishment
5. Get to know my neighbors better and hang out outside where it is much safer - we have done lots of this for a year and it's been a lifesaver
6. Touch base with family - we have done a lot of Facetime and for local family, outside with masks around a firepit
7. Plan for "after" - even if we don't know when after might actually be, make some mental plans to look forward to
8. Spend dedicated time with the kids - really enjoy the time together because it is fleeting
9. Pursue hobbies
10. Subscribe to a meal kit plan - this has been a lifesaver from having to cook the same things over and over again

Mom of 2 kids; DH and I both work from home.

I am the poster of the "list". I will add that I wasn't doing most of these things the first 6 months or so. But since then I have made a conscious decision to do these things (not every day and not perfectly all the time - but for the most part) and they have made a huge difference in my outlook and coping skills. It's a chicken or egg thing - you can wait until things get better to get to it or you can get to it and things will get better.

YMMV...


I know you mean well but hearing "exercise and eat well" after a year of DROWNING EVERY SINGLE DAY makes me want to reach through the screen and smack you silly.

I barely get to go to the bathroom alone. You think I am eating with intention or weight training?!!! I am an angry soft dumpling of a person right now, who is slowly being pecked to death by pigeons (my children).

Ha, this is DCUM "gold." Me too.

Though earlier PP, I liked your list too. It's a nice reminder of what I should/could be doing (but probably won't ).

Agree to both. The issue for most of us is that we don't have TIME to do any of these things we are supposed to be doing, and when we do have just a moment, we are so emotionally freaked out and overwhelmed that we do exactly what we aren't supposed to do - eat, drink, stay up too late, watch TV.