I hate being a parent right now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate being a new widow. We had to start isolating in 2019 due to chemo. I’ll trade you.

So sorry! Send you a hug.

[jsmith123]

Anonymous wrote:DH is the main parent and kind of died out in January. I gave him a container of Clorox Wipes and a bag of fruit and other snacks and a couple of liters of water, and sent him off to a hotel near a body of water for a 3-day weekend.

He came back a new man. Said he worked Friday, went walking along the water and watched the sunset, then got takeout and slept late. He said he meditated, napped, watched tv, and watched three sunsets and two sunrises.

It's my turn in March.

This is smart. I think people discount how much even 24 hours can be restorative. It just feel so never-ending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I acknowledge that OP isn’t alone and my heart breaks for all of you, but I can’t relate. Maybe it’s because I’ve had a objectively really difficult life: ACES score 9, stalked by two different men (neither romantic partners) and kidnapped by one, abusive first marriage, secondary infertility, medically fragile child, almost died 4 times, diagnosed with three serious chronic health conditions, sexual harassed at work, witness to horrific workplace violence, adult child raped, second husband diagnosed with colon cancer, abusive father has dementia... all of this has pushed me to find joy where I can. This year has seen my parenting repertoire expand and my family is even closer than before. It opened my heart to open our home to a boy who needed a forever family. I’m not glad that the pandemic happened, but I don’t wish I wasn’t parenting.

Why do you assume that none of these posters haven't also dealt with stuff like this? You have no idea what other people are dealing with on top of the pandemic. It's incredibly privileged to come out of this year and say you've enjoyed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I acknowledge that OP isn’t alone and my heart breaks for all of you, but I can’t relate. Maybe it’s because I’ve had a objectively really difficult life: ACES score 9, stalked by two different men (neither romantic partners) and kidnapped by one, abusive first marriage, secondary infertility, medically fragile child, almost died 4 times, diagnosed with three serious chronic health conditions, sexual harassed at work, witness to horrific workplace violence, adult child raped, second husband diagnosed with colon cancer, abusive father has dementia... all of this has pushed me to find joy where I can. This year has seen my parenting repertoire expand and my family is even closer than before. It opened my heart to open our home to a boy who needed a forever family. I’m not glad that the pandemic happened, but I don’t wish I wasn’t parenting.

Why do you assume that none of these posters haven't also dealt with stuff like this? You have no idea what other people are dealing with on top of the pandemic. It's incredibly privileged to come out of this year and say you've enjoyed it.

Please highlight where you read “I enjoyed it.”

[Anonymous]

I'm really struggling too, OP. This part is so hard because after 11 months we still don't know when it will end. I love my children so much but I desperately need time alone and I can't even get extended quiet time in the house with them.

I am working hard to set boundaries to try to rejuvenate. Noise cancelling headphones. Resting in bed with the door closed while the kids are watching TV. Saying sorry to my partner because I don't want to watch that movie I just want to be in my own little world where no one needs anything from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I acknowledge that OP isn’t alone and my heart breaks for all of you, but I can’t relate. Maybe it’s because I’ve had a objectively really difficult life: ACES score 9, stalked by two different men (neither romantic partners) and kidnapped by one, abusive first marriage, secondary infertility, medically fragile child, almost died 4 times, diagnosed with three serious chronic health conditions, sexual harassed at work, witness to horrific workplace violence, adult child raped, second husband diagnosed with colon cancer, abusive father has dementia... all of this has pushed me to find joy where I can. This year has seen my parenting repertoire expand and my family is even closer than before. It opened my heart to open our home to a boy who needed a forever family. I’m not glad that the pandemic happened, but I don’t wish I wasn’t parenting.

Why do you assume that none of these posters haven't also dealt with stuff like this? You have no idea what other people are dealing with on top of the pandemic. It's incredibly privileged to come out of this year and say you've enjoyed it.

I'm trying to imagine being so out there that you feel this poster is "privileged".

[Anonymous]

I feel the same way

I found this podcast/interview to be really helpful because even though we have all read a million articles about parenting during COVID, there was something about hearing it said out loud that was super validating. A lot of it is relevant even if you aren't working for pay.

https://www.npr.org/2021/02/18/969056831/how-the-pandemic-hurts-working-moms

[Anonymous]

I absolutely hate parenting as of January 2021. I did my best the rest of this pandemic, but Im tapped out. I have nothing left to give my kids in terms of attention, entertainment, school help. Nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I acknowledge that OP isn’t alone and my heart breaks for all of you, but I can’t relate. Maybe it’s because I’ve had a objectively really difficult life: ACES score 9, stalked by two different men (neither romantic partners) and kidnapped by one, abusive first marriage, secondary infertility, medically fragile child, almost died 4 times, diagnosed with three serious chronic health conditions, sexual harassed at work, witness to horrific workplace violence, adult child raped, second husband diagnosed with colon cancer, abusive father has dementia... all of this has pushed me to find joy where I can. This year has seen my parenting repertoire expand and my family is even closer than before. It opened my heart to open our home to a boy who needed a forever family. I’m not glad that the pandemic happened, but I don’t wish I wasn’t parenting.

Why do you assume that none of these posters haven't also dealt with stuff like this? You have no idea what other people are dealing with on top of the pandemic. It's incredibly privileged to come out of this year and say you've enjoyed it.

I'm trying to imagine being so out there that you feel this poster is "privileged".

DP and me, too. WTF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I acknowledge that OP isn’t alone and my heart breaks for all of you, but I can’t relate. Maybe it’s because I’ve had a objectively really difficult life: ACES score 9, stalked by two different men (neither romantic partners) and kidnapped by one, abusive first marriage, secondary infertility, medically fragile child, almost died 4 times, diagnosed with three serious chronic health conditions, sexual harassed at work, witness to horrific workplace violence, adult child raped, second husband diagnosed with colon cancer, abusive father has dementia... all of this has pushed me to find joy where I can. This year has seen my parenting repertoire expand and my family is even closer than before. It opened my heart to open our home to a boy who needed a forever family. I’m not glad that the pandemic happened, but I don’t wish I wasn’t parenting.

Why do you assume that none of these posters haven't also dealt with stuff like this? You have no idea what other people are dealing with on top of the pandemic. It's incredibly privileged to come out of this year and say you've enjoyed it.

I'm trying to imagine being so out there that you feel this poster is "privileged".

NP. I'm sorry for all that PP has gone through, but I don't know how this is helpful. OP is struggling and your response is a list of your trauma followed by saying that you can't relate to them and that you are a better parent than ever? I don't see how this is helpful to OP, or relevant. Tone deaf at best, narcissistic at worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I acknowledge that OP isn’t alone and my heart breaks for all of you, but I can’t relate. Maybe it’s because I’ve had a objectively really difficult life: ACES score 9, stalked by two different men (neither romantic partners) and kidnapped by one, abusive first marriage, secondary infertility, medically fragile child, almost died 4 times, diagnosed with three serious chronic health conditions, sexual harassed at work, witness to horrific workplace violence, adult child raped, second husband diagnosed with colon cancer, abusive father has dementia... all of this has pushed me to find joy where I can. This year has seen my parenting repertoire expand and my family is even closer than before. It opened my heart to open our home to a boy who needed a forever family. I’m not glad that the pandemic happened, but I don’t wish I wasn’t parenting.

Why do you assume that none of these posters haven't also dealt with stuff like this? You have no idea what other people are dealing with on top of the pandemic. It's incredibly privileged to come out of this year and say you've enjoyed it.

I'm trying to imagine being so out there that you feel this poster is "privileged".

NP. I'm sorry for all that PP has gone through, but I don't know how this is helpful. OP is struggling and your response is a list of your trauma followed by saying that you can't relate to them and that you are a better parent than ever? I don't see how this is helpful to OP, or relevant. Tone deaf at best, narcissistic at worst.

Totally narcissistic. Next time that pp should keep scrolling if the post doesnt apply to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I acknowledge that OP isn’t alone and my heart breaks for all of you, but I can’t relate. Maybe it’s because I’ve had a objectively really difficult life: ACES score 9, stalked by two different men (neither romantic partners) and kidnapped by one, abusive first marriage, secondary infertility, medically fragile child, almost died 4 times, diagnosed with three serious chronic health conditions, sexual harassed at work, witness to horrific workplace violence, adult child raped, second husband diagnosed with colon cancer, abusive father has dementia... all of this has pushed me to find joy where I can. This year has seen my parenting repertoire expand and my family is even closer than before. It opened my heart to open our home to a boy who needed a forever family. I’m not glad that the pandemic happened, but I don’t wish I wasn’t parenting.

Why do you assume that none of these posters haven't also dealt with stuff like this? You have no idea what other people are dealing with on top of the pandemic. It's incredibly privileged to come out of this year and say you've enjoyed it.

I'm trying to imagine being so out there that you feel this poster is "privileged".

NP. I'm sorry for all that PP has gone through, but I don't know how this is helpful. OP is struggling and your response is a list of your trauma followed by saying that you can't relate to them and that you are a better parent than ever? I don't see how this is helpful to OP, or relevant. Tone deaf at best, narcissistic at worst.

Totally narcissistic. Next time that pp should keep scrolling if the post doesnt apply to her.

Some people don’t want to hear “find joy where you can” because that is hard work. Since this is DCUM, the safest advice is probably to throw money at a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My area locked down early. We've been doing this for a year now. I see my husband for about 5 minutes a day (he goes into the office). I haven't spoken to another adult in person in three months. I'm alone for 10 hours a day with a 9 month old and two year old. The nine month old is still nursing and refuses a bottle so I can't leave him. Both kids are up at least once a night.

It's been so bad for so long to I don't even remember what good is like. I've spent every night in this house for a year, except the two nights I was in the hospital giving birth.

Oh honey. If you can afford it at all, definitely hire a sitter (even once-a-week for a few hours would make a huge difference. I promise!)

Even if the 9mo won’t take a bottle, a baby that age should be doing some solids and maybe even finger foods, right? So nurse right before you leave, give the sitter a jar of baby food and go somewhere for 3 hours. You can require the sitter to wear a KN95 if you are worried about exposure. For just a few hours it should be no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My area locked down early. We've been doing this for a year now. I see my husband for about 5 minutes a day (he goes into the office). I haven't spoken to another adult in person in three months. I'm alone for 10 hours a day with a 9 month old and two year old. The nine month old is still nursing and refuses a bottle so I can't leave him. Both kids are up at least once a night.

It's been so bad for so long to I don't even remember what good is like. I've spent every night in this house for a year, except the two nights I was in the hospital giving birth.

Oh honey. If you can afford it at all, definitely hire a sitter (even once-a-week for a few hours would make a huge difference. I promise!)

Even if the 9mo won’t take a bottle, a baby that age should be doing some solids and maybe even finger foods, right? So nurse right before you leave, give the sitter a jar of baby food and go somewhere for 3 hours. You can require the sitter to wear a KN95 if you are worried about exposure. For just a few hours it should be no big deal.

I agree with this. Go to the gym or for a walk or something. That period is hard - even without a pandemic. I paid someone to watch my kids and I would walk down to the movie theater and watch whatever random thing they were showing just so I didn't have to talk to anyone. Even now, when my kids are older, I go park my car at the nearby church and sit by myself, watch a movie or if I can muster the energy, call my sister and have a whinge.

I strongly admire those who love parenting all the time. I love my kids but parenting is soul-sucking.

[Anonymous]

With you OP. I honestly cannot wait to get back to the office. I dearly miss the commute, the professional setting, the people. My home is not a place of work and my family members are not coworkers. Back to the office cannot come soon enough for my sanity.