Friend Mom Shaming Me

[Anonymous]

Stop the friendship. Once kids are older, no one cares about those things nor does it matter.

[Anonymous]

Op why do you think these posts are directly at you?

[Anonymous]

She sounds like a terrible “friend” given that these choices are so personal.

OP, I do think you made the wrong choices, and I wouldn’t have made the same ones as you. BUT, if I knew you, I would never tell you that!

[Anonymous]

Oh man you’re bringing back memories for me. That first baby is so hard. And so many moms want to brag about their accomplishments re: breastfeeding and refusing to sleep train because it’s hard on them and if they don’t get to brag about it then how can they feel good about themselves. When the truth is no one cares how you feed your baby and what sleep method you’re using. And in a few years no one will know the difference between which kid was fed what, or who slept through the night at 4 months vs. 11 months.

Chalk it up to her insecurity. If you aren’t good friends then just mute her on social media and move on. If you are then step back for a bit and hope she comes to her senses.

I had a friend tell me formula was junk food even after she knew I struggled to pump and had to supplement when I went back to work. It’s changed the things I share with her and how close I feel to her even 6 years later. So I get it, this stuff can sting during a time when you’re just trying to survive and do the best you can. Listen to your DH.

[Anonymous]

Ignore. Motherhood is hard on people who need outside validation of their choices, so they end up seeking it out on social media. The fact of the matter is that kids who were breastfed grow up awesome, kids who were formula fed grow up awesome. There are hundreds if not thousands of these decisions that feel monumental in the moment but honestly don't matter -- what matters most is that your family is happy.

[Anonymous]

Way back when, before social media, a woman I considered a new close friend had a baby the same month I did. We swapped babysitting and hung out at each other's houses.

There were digs and snide comments and outright criticism of very minor choices like baby products. I was so desperate for friendship that I didn't confront her or push back but got increasingly bothered and annoyed.

There was also a one sided competition and lots of comparisons like developmental milestones.

Life happened, I went back to work, created some distance. Friend reached out and we had a play date for old time's sake at my house. Shortly into our time together my friend decided to discipline my DC about something ridiculous while I was in the room.

That was it. I don't miss her.