Friend Mom Shaming Me

[Anonymous]

Why do you feel you need people like this in your life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a baby who is a little over 4 months old. Things were really hard in the beginning with breastfeeding, weight issues, and sleep. I ended up pumping and then switching to formula at 4 months. I ended up sleep training at 4 months. I have a friend who has a baby a little older than mine. She had been posting on social media or making comments to me on how glad she is that she didn’t give on breastfeeding or how she would never sleep train, etc. It’s like she constantly does these things and I feel like she purposely does it to take digs at me. I’m not sure why but I feel like she thinks she is better than me or maybe wants to make herself feel that way. It’s been upsetting and I’m thinking of distancing myself from her. My husband tells me all the time how I’m doing amazing and that her opinion doesn’t matter. We have to do what works for us and our family. It still upsets me and I don’t really know how to handle it.

OP run do not walk.

Women should not be shaming each other.

She is a judgemental idiot. You deserve support from friends.

You did nothing wrong as a matter of FACT you did the right thing. Being a good mother is knowing what is right for your child in your family and you did that to be the best mother you could be.

YOU GO GIRL!

[Anonymous]

She's posting her narrative on social media, but not saying these things to you in person, right? If so, why would you call her out on it? That would be weird and insecure. Let it go.

Your baby is thriving because you recognized the weight issue and instinctively did what was best. He's eating and sleeping well. You're doing your job. That makes you an incredible mom! Feel empowered, not shamed. Congratulations!

[Anonymous]

Are you sure it isn't just you being insecure about your own parenting choices?

[Anonymous]

BIL's wife does this. It's tedious and obnoxious. She's more pointed and hostile outright attacking me in person, though. She's a massive ball of insecurity and jealousy about everything.

While normally directed at me, she redirected at one of her poor staff after SO & I decided to stop seeing her and BIL for a while. She always finds someone to fixate on as her reference. It isn't a new behavior and probably isn't the first time your friend has behaved like this, right?

I'd unfollow her and ignore it and start distancing myself unless she is direct in her digs, like commenting on one of your posts.

She isn't being a friend right now, if she ever was. Start assessing your relationship. Is it something you want to maintain?

Her behavior is really...unattractive even if she isn't making digs at you. If you feel that the digs are indeed about you then she just isn't a friend and I'd move on. Invest your time cultivating relationships that are healthier and more supportive.

[Anonymous]

People like her are nothing more than the classic billy. They are insecure so they try to cut down others because of it. You are better than her in the sense that you own and are happy with your decisions. She's insecure and bitter over hers so she's trying to make you and others like you feel like her.

The only good thing out of this is that you now know she's not a good friend.

[Anonymous]

Her posts are about her insecurity, not a judgement of your choices. She is sleep deprived and being a martyr and she needs to justify this to herself.

My kids are 4 and 6. I do not recall which friends BF or sleep trained or which kid in my friend group walked first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don’t regret stopping breastfeeding or sleep training. I have more time with my baby, getting good sleep, and my baby is much happier now that he is getting good sleep. His night sleep was good but he was taking short naps and wanted to be held for naps most of the time. Now he sleeps only wakes up ones to eat is taking solid naps in his crib.

I do try to ignore but I don’t want to say anything because I know she will know that it got to me.

This person is not a true friend. Ignore her, unfollow her on Facebook, the works. You are doing just fine as you are!!

[Anonymous]

Family Guy's take on male vs. female friendships

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKbDpp84dhk&ab_channel=GlastonburyVids

Anyway, if you're worried that she will know that she got to you, then it sounds like this is a pretty terrible relationship, and you should probably be looking elsewhere for socialization.

[Anonymous]

Can you describe what you are calling sleep training?

[Anonymous]

Be confident in your decisions. Like you I formula feed and I sleep train. It’s the only way I can survive being a mom and a student. So I can’t be shamed about these things because I don’t give an F what they think. Unless they are willing to help me raise my baby, I do what works best for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH here. Breastfeeding makes no difference. And sleep training is good for everyone’s sanity, which benefits the baby, too, as does the baby’s ability to fall back asleep.

You’re doing the right things.
Your friend is a dumb bitch right now. Probably hormones. Snooze or hide her on Facebook, and find a new friend. Done.

Breastfeeding DOES make a difference.
And as probably the only man on this entire thread, don't be calling women "dumb bitches".

Regardless if her friend is acting like an insensitive ass, you shouldn't be coming on here and using "dumb bitch".

You're an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. Breastfeeding makes no difference. And sleep training is good for everyone’s sanity, which benefits the baby, too, as does the baby’s ability to fall back asleep.

You’re doing the right things.
Your friend is a dumb bitch right now. Probably hormones. Snooze or hide her on Facebook, and find a new friend. Done.

Breastfeeding DOES make a difference.
And as probably the only man on this entire thread, don't be calling women "dumb bitches".

Regardless if her friend is acting like an insensitive ass, you shouldn't be coming on here and using "dumb bitch".

You're an idiot.

Stop, it does not make any material difference in outcomes. We all know this. Key word being “material”

[Anonymous]

As a mom who had to breastfeed and couldn't sleep train (both due to medical issues, the plan was to switch to formula), it is really lonely to be the only one who is still getting up all night and have the only kid who isn't taking a bottle. What's best for her and her baby wasn't right for you, but may be the best thing for her and her baby.

I wouldn't take it personally. I doubt it was directed at you.

[Anonymous]

Bye, Felicia!