DD Wants to dye her hair black?

[Anonymous]

I dyed my hair black at 16! (without asking my parents - I was away at school). I was quirky I guess -- it's just hair. My roommate at the time got a tattoo, so be happy with just hair color (we both are now 50+, happily married moms with 3 kids and full time jobs).

I just did a box from the drugstore back in the day, and man it was impossible to get out. I ended up bleaching it out and then my hair was auburn until it grew out.

I would recommend the Overtone black (they have lots of fun colors too). I don't think it will come out completely even after a couple of months (I use the dark brown to cover my gray now), but it will fade over time -- she can play with the color a bit more easily than the box color.

[Anonymous]

Don’t do it! My dark-blonde kid dyed hers black, and it was a nightmare. It totally suited her, everyone loved it, she wanted to keep it forever and I’d have been fine with that.

But it required constant maintenance to avoid looking like she was going bald. She looked like she was losing all her hair at her part as soon as the blonde started to grow in. We used a semipermanent color, and it had to be touched up every two or three weeks. But it wouldn’t wash out. We tried everything on the internet and then some to get rid of it, but it just looked sort of grey-green. And balding.

Even having it stripped professionally completely fried her hair. She eventually had to cut it off and start over.

I’m all for whatever my kids want to do to their hair. Hers has been every color of the rainbow, all sorts of lengths and cuts over the years, some more successful than others. It’s her way of expressing herself, and that’s fine.

But blondes should not go black unless you’re ready for a 100% commitment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t do it! My dark-blonde kid dyed hers black, and it was a nightmare. It totally suited her, everyone loved it, she wanted to keep it forever and I’d have been fine with that.

But it required constant maintenance to avoid looking like she was going bald. She looked like she was losing all her hair at her part as soon as the blonde started to grow in. We used a semipermanent color, and it had to be touched up every two or three weeks. But it wouldn’t wash out. We tried everything on the internet and then some to get rid of it, but it just looked sort of grey-green. And balding.

Even having it stripped professionally completely fried her hair. She eventually had to cut it off and start over.

I’m all for whatever my kids want to do to their hair. Hers has been every color of the rainbow, all sorts of lengths and cuts over the years, some more successful than others. It’s her way of expressing herself, and that’s fine.

But blondes should not go black unless you’re ready for a 100% commitment.

Could not disagree more. It seems like you want to have this child live a life free of mistakes. Worst case she dyes it black and realizes it is a hassle and cuts it and grows it out or whatever. Maybe she really loves it and decides the hassle is worth it and feels great about herself? Try things, make mistakes, learn, grow, figure $hit out - that is the whole point of the journey called life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The bigger picture says something- she has not started finding herself yet. If she did, she would not be experimenting.

What teenage girl has found herself?

Ha seriously. OP’s daughter is right on track!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15 y/o DD is a dark blonde. She has not fit in like her older siblings, does not do as well academically or with extracurriculars. Now she wants to dye her hair black with a streak of blonde in the front bangs and the back ends. I’m hesitant because she could make it harder for herself to fit in.

Is my concern valid?

Not your problem.

Might actually help her fit in more with her friend group. Shrug. It’s hair, it’s her hair, let her deal with the consequences of looking bald and having to pay to redo it.

[Anonymous]

Can you talk her into highlights instead? Or a semipermanent dye closer to her her natural colour? Black dye will be impossible to remove from blonde hair, so she'll need to wait until it is entirely grown out (could take years) if she doesn't like it or wants to change again.

Source: my best friend did this in 9th grade and was over the black hair after a few months. Her mother took her to a salon to try to get the black out, and the process wrecked her hair and still didn't get it entirely back to the original colour, but made it too damaged to dye again. Friend had hair to her shoulder blades and had to cut it short to get out the dyed part, and then wait two years for it to be back where it was. She regretted this immensely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t do it! My dark-blonde kid dyed hers black, and it was a nightmare. It totally suited her, everyone loved it, she wanted to keep it forever and I’d have been fine with that.

But it required constant maintenance to avoid looking like she was going bald. She looked like she was losing all her hair at her part as soon as the blonde started to grow in. We used a semipermanent color, and it had to be touched up every two or three weeks. But it wouldn’t wash out. We tried everything on the internet and then some to get rid of it, but it just looked sort of grey-green. And balding.

Even having it stripped professionally completely fried her hair. She eventually had to cut it off and start over.

I’m all for whatever my kids want to do to their hair. Hers has been every color of the rainbow, all sorts of lengths and cuts over the years, some more successful than others. It’s her way of expressing herself, and that’s fine.

But blondes should not go black unless you’re ready for a 100% commitment.

Could not disagree more. It seems like you want to have this child live a life free of mistakes. Worst case she dyes it black and realizes it is a hassle and cuts it and grows it out or whatever. Maybe she really loves it and decides the hassle is worth it and feels great about herself? Try things, make mistakes, learn, grow, figure $hit out - that is the whole point of the journey called life!

But this could take years. And years feel like forever when you are in middle/high school.

Maybe you can persuade her to get a streak of black or pink or something instead of an all-over look that will take years to grow out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t do it! My dark-blonde kid dyed hers black, and it was a nightmare. It totally suited her, everyone loved it, she wanted to keep it forever and I’d have been fine with that.

But it required constant maintenance to avoid looking like she was going bald. She looked like she was losing all her hair at her part as soon as the blonde started to grow in. We used a semipermanent color, and it had to be touched up every two or three weeks. But it wouldn’t wash out. We tried everything on the internet and then some to get rid of it, but it just looked sort of grey-green. And balding.

Even having it stripped professionally completely fried her hair. She eventually had to cut it off and start over.

I’m all for whatever my kids want to do to their hair. Hers has been every color of the rainbow, all sorts of lengths and cuts over the years, some more successful than others. It’s her way of expressing herself, and that’s fine.

But blondes should not go black unless you’re ready for a 100% commitment.

Could not disagree more. It seems like you want to have this child live a life free of mistakes. Worst case she dyes it black and realizes it is a hassle and cuts it and grows it out or whatever. Maybe she really loves it and decides the hassle is worth it and feels great about herself? Try things, make mistakes, learn, grow, figure $hit out - that is the whole point of the journey called life!

I never said don’t *let* her make mistakes, just sharing what my child learned from her own mistake. If she’d heard this story from someone else, I’m sure she’d have made a different decision.

Trust me, she learned plenty from the turquoise blue that never faded, just made her look slightly ill for a month. The pixie cut I thought was a huge mistake turned out to be adorable on her. She spent six months regretting the black dye job, though, and she could have avoided that if she’d asked for advice first.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't. You can't erase hair dyed black. Even semi permanent. It won't fade out completely and will look terrible as it grows out. Growing out blonde hair dyed black would take years. Depending how old she is, if she will be applying to jobs or college interviews in the next 3 yrs, I would tell her no. She can experiment with either temporary dye in fun colors or semi/demi dye within a couple shades of her natural color.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She could make it more difficult to fit in.

I think the majority of girls are dying their hair. I also think this generation isnt as judgemental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She could make it more difficult to fit in.

I think the majority of girls are dying their hair. I also think this generation isnt as judgemental.

Mine dyed hers pink thinking she’d be all edgy, but hardly anyone even mentioned it, except to say it looked great. She was kind of disappointed it didn’t get a bigger reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:15 y/o DD is a dark blonde. She has not fit in like her older siblings, does not do as well academically or with extracurriculars. Now she wants to dye her hair black with a streak of blonde in the front bangs and the back ends. I’m hesitant because she could make it harder for herself to fit in.

Is my concern valid?

Just curious if your dd got straight As and was like your other daughters it would be fine? I think you need to stop comparing your kids. School is a small part of your life. What if she has talents that you dont recognize because shedoesnt fit in to what you think your girls should be.

[Anonymous]

Mine wanted to do something but was a little hesitant do her whole head, so we put a peekaboo red streak on one side on the underside (style listed it as I did not want to screw anything up). It looked fabulous. And yes we had to bleach the hair in order to do the red properly. But, it was only a small piece of our not her whole head. After doing that she decided there’s no way she wanted to die her whole head a color. When I was a teen I poured a bottle of peroxide on my head and blew it dry. I went from mousy brown to a disgusting red orange color. I loved it and I hated it. It didn’t take very long to grow out as my hair grows fast. It’s a phase. As a middle-aged woman I have perfectly healthy non-damaged hair now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:15 y/o DD is a dark blonde. She has not fit in like her older siblings, does not do as well academically or with extracurriculars. Now she wants to dye her hair black with a streak of blonde in the front bangs and the back ends. I’m hesitant because she could make it harder for herself to fit in.

Is my concern valid?

I'd let her. It's her hair.

I'd express my concern but tell her that it is her decision. Then she has to live with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here. I’m listening. That’s why I’m asking. It not easy being a single father. Thx

You're doing great. You asked and nothing wrong with that.

I'll reiterate. How I handle stuff like this is: I express my concern but tell her it's her hair and her decision. Let her do it. But make clear that, if she doesn't like it, she's gonna have to wait it out.