DD Wants to dye her hair black?
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Anonymous
| She could make it more difficult to fit in. |
Anonymous
| Lots of kids dye their hair and this sounds like a fairly normal style. It will be fine. |
Anonymous
| Totally just hair. Let her make her own decisions on this one. |
Anonymous
OP, this falls in the spectrum of normal adolescent girl behavior. She will try out new identities and new styles. Dying hair is so much better to deal with than many other ways she might rebel. Try asking her some specifics, and listening to her. I mean, I know you do, but try to have a really open table on this. What kind of black does she want (blue undertones, or what?) Does she have a plan to do it -- does she want to do it herself, or start with a professional? Does she think her old clothes will work with the new do? Be right there with her. Figure out what draws her to it, and try to facilitate that. keep that relationship supportive, and not smothering to her. She'll be more likely to come to you with real problems. |
Anonymous
| Could be like a gateway drug to worse things. That’s what almost happened to my child. |
Anonymous
To fit in with who? Jerks who care about hair? Probably not the kind of kids a parent would want her being friends with to being with. |
Anonymous
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PS: She may not fit in as well with her sisters or other kids, but maybe she will fit in better with the theater kids, or music types, or what have you. What's negative social currency in one context can be positive in another.
She knows she's different. She knows she doesn't fit in. She might be trying a way to find her own place to fit in, and it's not necessarily a bad one. |
Anonymous
It’s not the hair that’s the gateway drug. It’s insecurity, feeling friendless, depression, etc. Those are the things to watch out for. If those things are a problem, not letting her dye her hair won’t fix them. OP as far as her not fitting in, that sounds like a potentially legitimate concern couched in imprecise terms. She doesn’t need to fit in, but she does need a support system. If you’re worried about that, focus on that issue and not the hair. I do think supporting her in her hair choices will help your relationship. I highly recommend reading Untangled: guiding adolescent girls through the seven stages into adulthood. It helps a ton with ways to approach decisions like these. |
Anonymous
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Here is the link for the book i mentioned. Careful, my daughter found my highlighted copy and basically tested me on how well I was going.
https://www.amazon.com/Untangled-Guiding-Teenage-Transitions-Adulthood/dp/0553393073 |
Anonymous
| I did my hair as a teenager. 15 years ago. I did not fit in as well after that. But it was an interesting experience |
Anonymous
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From a health standpoint, coloring your hair is bad for you over time. If you start young and continue until you are "old" your cancer risk goes up. It also makes your hair dry and brittle. Take a look at the women around you who color their hair.
If she has to color her hair, use a semi-permanent color which should be less harsh on her hair. It will wash out over time though. |
Anonymous
| I dyed my hair pitch black as a teen and as others have pointed out it was impossible to get rid of. But I liked it from what I can remember. However my natural hair color is dark already and it went okay my skin tone. If she is a natural dark blonde the black will prob be quite jarring. But it’s just hair! Not a hill I’d die on as long as she accepts the fact she’s stuck with it for a while. |
Anonymous
Did you fit in before? |
Anonymous
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Let her. It’s fine. I suggest semi permanent so it isn’t permanent hair dye. It might not be as back as she wants but it won’t be as damaging. I’m a HS teacher and kids color their hair all different colors.
My DD has black hair. I let her bleach part of it recently. Yes, it’s damaging but it made her happy. It’s only hair and can grow and but cut off eventually. This year has been tough and this is one minor thing that made it a little better for her. Not my style but she loves it. |
Anonymous
| It's just hair color. Make sure it's not expensive, as that would be a waste of money on a teen, in my opinion. |