If you lie about your hometown, why?

[Anonymous]

I have to listen closely to see what question the person is really asking. It could be where I was raised or where I currently live but frequently it's where my family is "from." Like, what is my ethnicity.

I'll answer "Well, I was born in Washington State but raised in the Midwest." They'll respond, "no, where are you FROM." Emphasis, emphasis.

I'll then give them the full version, "well, I was born in Washington State and raised in the Midwest but I've lived in DC for over 20 years. Oh, and my family came to the US from Mexico in the 1920s."

[Anonymous]

I dont know if anyone follows the blogger Taza but she does this. I guess she is very attached to her identity as a "Manhattanite" and doesnt want to admit to her hometown. It's kind of sad and pathological

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people really do this?

When people ask me where I'm from, usually in a casual setting, I tell them where I grew up. I don't go into an elaborate story about how I was born overseas and immigrated here as a preteen but then grew up in my hometown because I assume people are just making small talk and don't actually care.

A very small subset of people do it, and I find it fascinating. Sometimes I have had to ask a few times to figure out where someone actually grew up. It's strange

Why don’t you ask “Where did you grow up?” Instead of “where are you from?” It might clarify the question and get the answer you desire.

I think I will have to start doing this! It's the same question but it will prevent evasiveness, I think

Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

[Anonymous]

there are several related questions, where were you born, where did you grow up and where do you live. Where are you from can be seen as asking any of them. Even within where did you grow up, there are people who moved around a lot and didn't really grow up in any one place. I'm one, so I usually deflect the question because I'd rather not explain my life history in a casual BS conversation during my kids' bingo night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve lived half my life in DC now, but originally I’m from NC. The answer to “where are you from” is totally dependent on the context. To someone who already knows that I live in DC, it’s clear that they’re asking about original hometown, and the answer is Chapel Hill. I’ve been to parties that include lots of people visiting from other places. To them, the answer is DC, because they’re most likely asking about the here and now. If I travel and someone asks, it’s DC for the same reason, and to avoid the inevitable:

“Where are you from?”
“Chapel Hill.”
“Oh great! Can you recommend a good restaurant on Franklin Street?”
“I haven’t actually been within 100 miles of Franklin Street in 20 years.”
Blank stare, awkward changing of the subject.

The answer to “where are you from” isn’t always where you grew up. No lie. If you want to know where someone grew up, then be specific and don’t assume that people are trying to pull one over on you.

+1

The answer to this is context based - sometimes I’m from Michigan and sometimes I’m from Maryland. It depends on the conversation and why I think the person is asking. Sometimes the person asking means “where do you live” and sometimes they mean “where did you grow up”.

[Anonymous]

I always say where I grew up, but I'm kind of into the lying idea, if only to vary my conversations, because they goes like this, approximately 100% of the time:

RANDOM PERSON: Where did you grow up?
ME: Minnesota
RANDOM PERSON: Oooooh, Minneeeeesooooooota!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people really do this?

When people ask me where I'm from, usually in a casual setting, I tell them where I grew up. I don't go into an elaborate story about how I was born overseas and immigrated here as a preteen but then grew up in my hometown because I assume people are just making small talk and don't actually care.

A very small subset of people do it, and I find it fascinating. Sometimes I have had to ask a few times to figure out where someone actually grew up. It's strange

Why don’t you ask “Where did you grow up?” Instead of “where are you from?” It might clarify the question and get the answer you desire.

I think I will have to start doing this! It's the same question but it will prevent evasiveness, I think

Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

Thank you for this. I think it's exactly what OP wants to know.

[Anonymous]

We moved across the country recently and when someone asks “where are you from” I reply with “we moved from just outside DC, but we’ve moved around a lot.” Anyone genuinely curious can ask more questions, but I assume that the casual asker doesn't really want to know that I was born one place, grew up somewhere else, moved again in HS, moved for college, and on and on. For nuts like OP, I’m not lying or obfuscating. For everyone else it’s, enough info to tell them that I’m brand-spanking-new to the area.

[Anonymous]

Why do people lie about anything? Because of some internal pain or dysfunction. The answer is not judgement, but sympathy and understanding. Probably they're insecure. better to come at it with kindness and not judgement

[Anonymous]

Why is this a lie? If a person has lived in 17 places, can't they feel as if they are from any one of them?

Not sure that the problem does not fall on the OP.

How about this. Friends are both born and raised in DC. Pregnant wife had a car accident in Baltimore and was ambulanced to Johns Hopkins neo natal where their healthy daughter was born. Following day, they returned to DC with their new daughter. Daughter is 11 now. Is she supposed to tell people she is from Baltimore so that the OP does not accuse her of lying. She has spent more time out of the city at sleep away camp than she did for her birth, but OP might say that she was lying.

Grow up OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people really do this?

When people ask me where I'm from, usually in a casual setting, I tell them where I grew up. I don't go into an elaborate story about how I was born overseas and immigrated here as a preteen but then grew up in my hometown because I assume people are just making small talk and don't actually care.

A very small subset of people do it, and I find it fascinating. Sometimes I have had to ask a few times to figure out where someone actually grew up. It's strange

Why don’t you ask “Where did you grow up?” Instead of “where are you from?” It might clarify the question and get the answer you desire.

I think I will have to start doing this! It's the same question but it will prevent evasiveness, I think

Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

So... where did you grow up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do people lie about anything? Because of some internal pain or dysfunction. The answer is not judgement, but sympathy and understanding. Probably they're insecure. better to come at it with kindness and not judgement

Just because people don't feel they owe random busybodies their life story does not mean they are insecure or in pain. OP freely admitted that he/she is trying to profile people based on their hometown, which is weird and rude, and not a good way to get to know people at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people lie about anything? Because of some internal pain or dysfunction. The answer is not judgement, but sympathy and understanding. Probably they're insecure. better to come at it with kindness and not judgement

Just because people don't feel they owe random busybodies their life story does not mean they are insecure or in pain. OP freely admitted that he/she is trying to profile people based on their hometown, which is weird and rude, and not a good way to get to know people at all.

Where did they admit that? Also why would someone mind being profiled?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:? It’s not a lie, it’s a different way of answering the question.

It is a lie, ESPECIALLY if it's asked in that same city they're currently living. The obvious implication is "where did you grow up/ where are your roots". People trying to find out the town that truly raised and shaped you.

it's disingenuous at best, and I'm curious why anyone would engage in it.

Why are you so bothered by this? When we are traveling, people make small talk and ask where you're from. The answer is "we come from DC, nice weather you have here," not "Well, my wife is a DC native but I was born and raised in small town Ohio, but I spent several years living overseas before moving to DC where we have lived for 13 years."

If you care so much, you can ask people specifically where they were born. I can't imagine being so strident about this.

Who not just say "I'm from Ohio and she's from DC"? Pretty simple, actually. But more importantly, I'm asking about people who answer that to someone WHILE they're in DC.

If you met someone in DC and they asked where you're from, what would you say?

If I knew the person I met already knew I lived in DC, I'd tell them my hometown. But I've lived here for 15+ years, and I haven't lived in my hometown for over 25 years, so unless the person is specifically asking where I was born/grew up, I'm likely to answer "DC." I'm not ashamed of it, it's just rarely relevant information anymore.

And when travelling, if someone asks where I'm from, I say "DC," unless I'm in or near my hometown, in which case I will say, "DC, but I grew up near here."

Well you can rationalize your lies however you like, but you are lying. you're not "from" DC, you're from small town Ohio. But I guess you dont want to say it.

You have a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I've started asking people "where did you grow up?" Everyone wants to seem like a lifelong urban dweller, and they will do anything to maintain that illusion. It's kind of sad.

Seriously why do you care? Those who are fixated on this seem like the nosiest, most status-obsessed, people. And I'm someone who answers that I'm from Florida because I am. But I don't care how other people answer, I'm just making conversation.

Because I'm curious about other people and knowing where someone grew up gives you an important clue to their identity? I mean... duh?

There you go. The bolded is why some people are uncomfortable with answering your question straight on. You think where they were born and raised is an important clue to their identify, they think you'll make assumptions about them and they'd be right. Plenty of people don't have good associations with where they grew up and may feel more emotional attachment to somewhere else where they actively carved out their identity.

Do you not see the irony of your statement?