Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The other thread about inlaws dropping by unannounced has me thinking about this incident with my MIL from last year that really upset her. Curious on other people's takes.
I had taken a bunch of photos of my DD doing something, I can't remember what, and was showing them to DH and his family (MIL, FIL, BIL, and his aunt). Mostly I was just showing a couple that were really funny by holding my phone up, but since it was a bigger group, I handed my phone around so people could see better.
Well phone gets to my MIL and she goes through all the photos of DD but then just keeps going. I kind of laughed and said, "Ok, looks like your done" and went to take my phone back. She pulls it away from me and says, "No, I want to look through the others." And won't give the phone back to me.
Now, it's not like I have nudes on my phone or anything (though I could, and there's nothing wrong with that, for the record), but the minute she was demanding to go through them I felt soooo violated. Even if it was just dumb selfies that I hadn't deleted yet or screen grabs of memes that I texted to friends, it felt extremely personal and weird for my MIL to think that was fair game. I got very serious and told her I wanted my phone back, and DH also told her to give it back, and she did. But she still brings it up, like it was super weird of me not to want her looking through my phone and that it's evidence I must of questionable or embarrassing things on there. It's made me very wary of her and now I wonder if she snoops through our house when she visits, or through our luggage when we visit (pre-Covid, we have not seen her in person since March).
So, what says DCUM? Did I overreact or was MIL being a nosy b?
She's right.. you did not want her looking because of the embarrassing thing you admitted this herself.
PPs are right that this is likely just a generational thing. You've been given a perfect script for how to address it
Lastly, it just seems like you don't like your mother in law. It seems like she's trying to cultivate a girlfriend type of relationship with you, and you don't want that. It's fine not to want that
, but it [b]doesn't make her a creepy snoop either.
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