I Don’t Like My Ring

[Anonymous]

Can you get the diamond put on a simple band, then the pave for "special occasions"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you get the diamond put on a simple band, then the pave for "special occasions"?

I have a large diamond on a band with diamonds. I wear if we are going out. But the rest of the time I wear a simple gold band that we picked out together since the other is so attention grabbing and can feel uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Men actually pick out their own rings these days? Thankfullly for us (17 years ago) I wanted to use a family stone that just needed to be reset. DH was thrilled he only had to pay for a new setting (that of course I picked out.) Happily married 16 years.

[Anonymous]

I cannot believe how many people are telling you to say nothing! I’m sure you can come up with a kind way to express yourself here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe how many people are telling you to say nothing! I’m sure you can come up with a kind way to express yourself here.

This! Learn to communicate!

Older married guy here. You are about to get married to this person! If you are not able to communicate this simple but important concept, you still have a lot of work to do, on yourself, and on your relationship.

Try: "I love you and am so happy to be engaged. I love that you bought me this ring and I want to wear it forever. I'm going to bring it in to get a few minor changes made to it so it fits me a bit better and matches my style perfectly. Then I hope I never have to take it off again!"

Or to be honest OP, you can just go do it. I doubt your fiancee would even notice.

[Anonymous]

OP My cousin married a woman who thought the same - she sent him back to the store to get a "bigger rock" and he did. They have been married for years now and have teens. And all this time, nothing has been good enough or expensive enough or the house has not been as big as the other folks he works with. And my cousin is a doctor in a hospital.

Do the guy a favor, don't marry him.

[Anonymous]

It’s so paternalistic to think that a man should pick out a ring and a woman should be happy with it for the rest of her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP My cousin married a woman who thought the same - she sent him back to the store to get a "bigger rock" and he did. They have been married for years now and have teens. And all this time, nothing has been good enough or expensive enough or the house has not been as big as the other folks he works with. And my cousin is a doctor in a hospital.

Do the guy a favor, don't marry him.

I have a male friend in a similar boat. It all started with the 3 “alterations” she made to the ring he picked out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s so paternalistic to think that a man should pick out a ring and a woman should be happy with it for the rest of her life.

Maybe you would be happier with just a cash payment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s so paternalistic to think that a man should pick out a ring and a woman should be happy with it for the rest of her life.

No, what’s paternalistic and bizarre is that men are required to buy women diamonds - whether she gets involved in the decision or not.

Don’t try to frame this as marital equality and feminism because you were an equal partner in deciding what diamond your husband was required to buy for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP My cousin married a woman who thought the same - she sent him back to the store to get a "bigger rock" and he did. They have been married for years now and have teens. And all this time, nothing has been good enough or expensive enough or the house has not been as big as the other folks he works with. And my cousin is a doctor in a hospital.

Do the guy a favor, don't marry him.

I have a male friend in a similar boat. It all started with the 3 “alterations” she made to the ring he picked out.

OP, ignore these posters.

[Anonymous]

Once you marry, just wear your wedding band and be sure to pick it out.

[Anonymous]

Why would you not say anything?!

You people are crazy, let him know!

He should have a sales receipt, and you two can go look together. Jewelry stores know that some purchases are gifts, and may be returned.

[Anonymous]

Marriage is a long list of compromises and eventually your tastes will meld together. Let this be the first step in that difficult but exciting journey.

[Anonymous]

Bunch of crazy people on this thread. Just tell him you want to make a few changes to the style.