I Don’t Like My Ring

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you shop together for a ring?

How is this helpful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell us more about the ring and then we can tell you what to do.

OP here. The ring is beautiful but it’s just not my style. It’s a round stone, not sure on carat size but maybe 1-1.5, with a I think a pave band setting. The diamond itself is beautiful big I hate the band. I would have much rather preferred a solitary band. I’m not into that much jewelry or anything flashy.

Yeah, just suck it up. Don’t say anything. PP that lost stones in a pave setting and if one stone comes out, you can use that opportunity to talk about simplifying the band, maybe saving the other pieces to incorporate into a sentimental piece later. I suspect it will grow on you. Don’t lie to him about your finger hurting or going green, but don’t crush his hard work either. Compromise, one of the joys of marriage! Congrats btw on your engagement.

[Anonymous]

OP, based on your description, say nothing. Get a plain band. When you go to pick them out, make a huge thing out of how you love the plain look... feel him out for whether he would feel ok with you switching out the setting.

Now if it was a crazy shape/setting/metal colour or he spent very little money- like $100 (or it was a fake) or he spent way too much money- those are red flags I would want to address to be sure there aren't other things you AREN'T on the same page with.

[Anonymous]

OP, definitely say something now while there's still the chance to exchange it. I think it's weird that he just picked out a ring for you to wear every day for the rest of your life without consulting you. It's not like he already knew what you like, obviously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, definitely say something now while there's still the chance to exchange it. I think it's weird that he just picked out a ring for you to wear every day for the rest of your life without consulting you. It's not like he already knew what you like, obviously.

+1 as hard as this is, think of it as practice for talking about THE BIG STUFF.

[Anonymous]

I'd definitely say something. Why should you wear something you don't like for the rest of your life just because someone else picked it out? Do you think he won't want any input on his wedding ring? No, I'm sure he will.

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t sound like switching out the band would be a huge deal. In a couple of weeks, tell him that you absolutely love the diamond. That he did an awesome job picking it out and you’d love to highlight the sparkle of the diamond even more by swapping out the pave band for a good plain band.

[Anonymous]

I have a pave band for both of my rings, but they do have a texture to them, so maybe you could tell him that the texture is irritating the two fingers on either side of your ring finger as a way to suggest a band change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a pave band for both of my rings, but they do have a texture to them, so maybe you could tell him that the texture is irritating the two fingers on either side of your ring finger as a way to suggest a band change.

I agree with this - I actually just had my engagement ring reset for my 20th anniversary. And I added a pave band, and it does take some getting used to with the pave diamonds on the other two fingers.
Maybe you could use some of the pave diamonds on the wedding band?

[Anonymous]

I barely wear my engagement ring these days and haven't since I started having babies and got irritation from all the diaper related handwashing.

Focus on getting the wedding band you want and worry less about the engagement ring. You will wear the band more. And you will hurt his feelings saying something. Reevaluate down the road when you have been married awhile.

[Anonymous]

I agree w a plain band. Your ring sounds beautiful and classic.

[Anonymous]

Who cares. It’s the marriage that matters. Not worth hurting his feelings. Change at 10year mark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t sound like switching out the band would be a huge deal. In a couple of weeks, tell him that you absolutely love the diamond. That he did an awesome job picking it out and you’d love to highlight the sparkle of the diamond even more by swapping out the pave band for a good plain band.

If she’s going to do this, she should not wait a couple weeks. There might be a return policy in effect with limited days.

Maybe go alone to a jeweler and find out how hard it would be to switch it out. That way you can see how feasible it it.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t say a thing. I was given a family heirloom. Not what I had in mind at all but he asked, I accepted, he offered the ring. Moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd definitely say something. Why should you wear something you don't like for the rest of your life just because someone else picked it out? Do you think he won't want any input on his wedding ring? No, I'm sure he will.

+1. And if he acts all hurt about it, then you surprise him with a diamond encrusted rose gold wedding band for him to wear the rest of his life