What is considered a striver?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a slam against people who plug away and try. Strivers are people who are diligent, exert effort, dot their i's and cross their t's, they do the right things, they try to do/say the right things, they are the backbone, they obey the laws, etc. My husband and I are strivers.

Nope, not at all.

Completely incorrect.

DH and I are hard working rule followers. We did everything right and we raise our kids to be well rounded good people. We do value education and make it a priority. I wonder if we are considered strivers. We are not overly competitive and definitely don’t step on others to get ahead.

Are you a couple of fraudster jackasses who pretend to be rich and classy when you’re really trash? If no, you’re not a striver.

[Anonymous]

People who lease cars and buy homes they can’t afford. They couldn’t go 3 months without their income and still pay their bills.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think striver equals ambitious. I think people are confusing the terms. Strivers aim to succeed no matter the cost, they will step over people to get what they want, and they are all about appearances. I think the later is the biggest difference. They want the right clothes, right schools, right colleges. It’s all about how they look to the outside world vs. what they really want. They name drop. They constantly post stuff on social media with express purpose of showing off. Strivers are the not just ambitious. Lots of ambitious people in this area are not strivers.

[Anonymous]

Strivers are, by and large, social climbers. Strivers usually display middle class sensibilities and insecurities, yet are trying to climb their way into America's upper classes by aping their betters. Strivers are the ones posting on DCUM to understand what to wear to a certain type of event or what are the "top 3" private schools or how can my "DD" get in to the "best" colleges. Strivers are snobs, have first generation wealth and are desperate to maintain or at least to not slip down the social ladder or allow their DDs to do so. Strivers live in tasteless McMansions that they paid $1.5-$2.0 million for, in neighborhoods full of split level 60-70s style houses in Bethesda and Arlington. Strivers are not class settled because are trying to "buy it" or "learn it". Strivers are the types that would "buy their own heirlooms." Strivers are the types that read books like "Class" or "The Official Preppy Handbook" as "how to get ahead in life for dummies" rather than ironic takes on the American class system. Strivers are most likely good students, probably neurotic and definitely insecure - and make up a huge portion of the non-native population of the DC metro area!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think striver equals ambitious. I think people are confusing the terms. Strivers aim to succeed no matter the cost, they will step over people to get what they want, and they are all about appearances. I think the later is the biggest difference. They want the right clothes, right schools, right colleges. It’s all about how they look to the outside world vs. what they really want. They name drop. They constantly post stuff on social media with express purpose of showing off. Strivers are the not just ambitious. Lots of ambitious people in this area are not strivers.

I agree with this. A striver will be your friend one minute when they consider you their "equal" or that you can "do something" for them. But will drop you like a hot potato the moment they think they have risen "above" you and/or you are no longer useful to them. Big on name dropping. On vacation to "trendy" places. Etc.

[Anonymous]

Strivers love to talk about and serve on non-profit boards (e.g., third rate art galas, PTA/school foundations, and most of the social events that you see 20-30 somethings in Georgetown attending). Helping people is beside the point. The real point is the social visibility, the parties and the ability to publicly show how much money you're donating or raising to support the "cause".

[Anonymous]

trying to climb their way into America's upper classes by aping their betters.

Wow, this pos apparently still lives in the Victorian age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have always thought of them as the people who post here incessantly asking how rich people live/dress/talk/walk and so on.

+1. I also include the ladies who post that they carry a ratty, old bag from Costco or Target bc that’s what “old money” would do. I could not believe someone would be stupid enough to admit that, even on an anonymous board, but they are good examples of strivers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always thought of them as the people who post here incessantly asking how rich people live/dress/talk/walk and so on.

+1. I also include the ladies who post that they carry a ratty, old bag from Costco or Target bc that’s what “old money” would do. I could not believe someone would be stupid enough to admit that, even on an anonymous board, but they are good examples of strivers.

No. Disagree. A striver would never carry a ratty bag that is not an expensive name brand. Ever. Same with car. They would never drive a non-luxury brand of car.

[Anonymous]

Strivers are simply are those who do an above average job of doing the things necessary to get what they want out of life. We all want something different out of life so you can't use any one thing as an objective standard, although there are some things well correlated with strivers: education, health, income, and net worth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Strivers are simply are those who do an above average job of doing the things necessary to get what they want out of life. We all want something different out of life so you can't use any one thing as an objective standard, although there are some things well correlated with strivers: education, health, income, and net worth.

I don’t think this is right. This would include pretty much everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think striver equals ambitious. I think people are confusing the terms. Strivers aim to succeed no matter the cost, they will step over people to get what they want, and they are all about appearances. I think the later is the biggest difference. They want the right clothes, right schools, right colleges. It’s all about how they look to the outside world vs. what they really want. They name drop. They constantly post stuff on social media with express purpose of showing off. Strivers are the not just ambitious. Lots of ambitious people in this area are not strivers.

I agree with this. A striver will be your friend one minute when they consider you their "equal" or that you can "do something" for them. But will drop you like a hot potato the moment they think they have risen "above" you and/or you are no longer useful to them. Big on name dropping. On vacation to "trendy" places. Etc.

+2 there’s a ruthlessness to strivers. It’s the person who meets you, sucks up to you until they find out what circles you are in, and then never speaks to you again, if you are not in their perceived important circles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A hard worker finds something they love to do and work at it because they love it and are successful.

A striver looks at what others do to gain money and/or power and they try to imitate it.

A striver finds out what all the check boxes are for success and try to check all the boxes.

My son, for example, loves to play the trumpet and he excelled at it. He begged me to practice and we begged him to stop. 😀 He got a scholarship to a top university because of his passion. He as kss as I pl as us 10 other instruments but not as well.

Other kids hated playing an instrument but did because they thought it would help with college admissions. They checked every box... SAT prep.., check, instrument check, sport... check ... volunteer, check. None with more EC’s, better SATs, higher GPA got into as better university. They are going to a great colleges and they are fine with where they ended up (their parents... not so much). But they (thr parents) all bemoan that my son with just Trumpet 🎺 got into a better college.

This is basically what 10:19 was talking about.

+ 1. The PP uses the term to talk down others who work smart because (s)he doesn't like it. what's wrong with imitating others to become rich of be more successful?

The world is not black and white.

There is no right and wrong here.

Strivers tough through stuff they hate to get money and/or power.

Others work hard at things they love whether money and/or power follows doesn’t matter to them. It might it might not.

I think striving for money and/or power will bring you unhappiness spiritually/emotionally. I don’t think it’s wrong it’s just that there are decisions and consequences... if you know the consequences and are good with them, go for it.

All this shows is your own arrogance and short-sightedness. Working hard to get into the best college you can isn't inherently about money and power. You don't know all of these other kids, and you have no idea what passions they may have that they want to pursue in college at the highest level they can. If playing an instrument is something they have to tough out to boost their applications so they can do the thing they really want to do, that's not "striving," that's doing the hard work it takes to pursue your dreams even when it's not fun or interesting.

Yes I actually know the kids my kids are friends with and their parents. Typical striver response. You don’t get to know the kids in your child’s band/orchestra/team/class? It’s just a means to an end?

Really you should work on your personal relationship skills.

So all of your teen’s friends sit around your kitchen table telling you all about their deepest hopes and dreams? And those hopes and dreams were all about making as much money and having as much power as possible? I doubt that.

Yes they talk about only doing X for college apps, hating the instrument, hating practice, etc.

Your kids and their friends don’t talk to you. Wow! Sad.

Some band/orchestra/team/class you have there! Everyone but the earnest trumpet player is in it only for the college apps.

[Anonymous]

I thought it was people who are always trying to act as if they are above their current life situation, always looking up one more level to the Joneses.

The people who become house poor so they can have the “right” zip code and then look down on anyone in what they deem an undesirable neighborhood. Going into credit card debt so they can send their kids to private school and laughing at all the plebeians in public schools. Working 60 hours per week in a job that makes them miserable so they can boast about their title. Always striving for that next status upgrade that will finally make them “happy.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always thought of them as the people who post here incessantly asking how rich people live/dress/talk/walk and so on.

+1. I also include the ladies who post that they carry a ratty, old bag from Costco or Target bc that’s what “old money” would do. I could not believe someone would be stupid enough to admit that, even on an anonymous board, but they are good examples of strivers.

No. Disagree. A striver would never carry a ratty bag that is not an expensive name brand. Ever. Same with car. They would never drive a non-luxury brand of car.

You described one type of striver but the old money wannabes are strivers too. They may buy different things but have the striver-ish quality of desperately trying to be what they consider “better.”