How to raise nice, polite kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no doubt my kids may have said something rude to parents on playdates. They tend to be more wound up than usual when they're with friends.

That said, we model the basics all the time and praise them when we hear it unprompted.

Those are really young ages, OP, and this stuff takes years of reinforcement. Mine are 7 and 9 and I don't really expect to see good manners consistently until they're older, as much as I'd like to see it now.

Ny age 5 I knew how to behave in public and how to behave in other people's houses. I had been taught "please, thank you, yes ma'am, yes sir,," and nevermind called adults by first name.,
Furthermore, every kid I knew also had good manners
My parents taught us from the get go and I did the same with my children. We were also taught that we could not accept offer of good or drink until that had been offered three times.

Not expecting a 5 and 7 year olds to have good manners at all times is bad parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids have been acting out because virtual learning is stressful. Have you considered that? It's really tough on kids, and this behavior might be a reaction to that. It's not fair to assume bad parenting.

+1

Ages 6 and 7 are extremely difficult ages for distance learning. They may seem like “big kids” to OP since she has preschoolers but really... they’re so little. And DL is so developmentally inappropriate. What do you do with these kids to build connection? Have fun? The relationship is important. No kid wants to be bad or rude. But if they don’t feel content/supported, they’re going to have a hard time. Period.

Also- you teach people how to treat you. They can be rude with others and polite with you. It’s all about relationship *and then* boundaries. Kind but firm, always. And consistency is essential.

OP here and don't talk down to me. I taught in the classroom for 10 years. I've also nannied and babysat for countless years. I love and respect children. That doesn't mean I can't be off put by rudeness.

I also pity these kids, greatly. DL is a joke.

You have every right to be put off by rudeness!!! Sorry if my previous comment wasn’t worded well. I’m tired. Hugs to you. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Always treat them with respect.

Little things like knock on their door as you enter their rooms.

Treat them with manners and respect all the time.

[Anonymous]

Forbid them to be “cool”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s permissive parenting for sure. good parenting is a long hard slog, takes repetition and consistency, which some parents find too taxing and hope their kids grow out of it—and actually stop hearing it as rude, just how their kid talks.

So op, I would just continue your path—remind your kids of their manners and model them.

Agree. See it all the time. Take BOTH parents parenting roughly the same though.

[Anonymous]

Don't live in California. No such thing as a polite kid there.

[Anonymous]

There is no magic formula. Just as you have blind spots in being a kind person, so too will your kids.